Did anyone Used to Get Smacked as a Child?

blue_monkey_2

One smack in 6 years (the other 3 were as a toddler) and I am child beating monster. Be afraid of me everyone, I am clearly volatile and should not be allowed to have children.

Some of you people need to get a grip.

blue_monkey_2

lynzpower wrote: »

Yes I used to commission respite care all the time for parents.

Well maybe you could arrange it for me then, our SS do not want to know. I've called the AAS and they could not help either and they are the people who advise in our area. We are not entitled apparently. Things have changed, there is no money anymore.

RacyRed

Aaaaahhh, Blue Monkey.

Switch off your computer and don't let other people spoil your one day of peace.

You have PMT but you also have the antidote.... Crisps and chocolate :j:j:j

I'm going to have a sulk because I have crisps but no chocolate (coz I ate that yesterday):rotfl:

lynzpower

Well I no longer work in SW and unless you live in central london ( which it seems you dont) then I wouldnt be able to put you into contact with the people I know who do it.

I dont know what AAS is, what is it?

Bronnie

Sorry if this seems a bit random, it just struck me, hearing about blue monkey's daughter and free-for-all play schemes.

One of the things we seem to have lost these days is the input that older and retired "grandparent " figures can contribute to our kids' lives.

When my kids went to play-groups/Rainbows/summer playschemes etc, there would often be an older motherly- type lady, often a volunteer who would sit with the quieter or less confident children or troubled children, play alongside them at the craft table, chat quietly and just be there to give a bit of quiet one-to one time, slow things down a bit and encourage calm reflection.

My mum used to help out at after-school play centres. She was very good at sitting with the ones whose behaviour needed a bit of extra input and getting them to settle down. Later when she was less well she used to sit outside in her wheel chair, a neighbour's young daughter who had some problems and always seemed to be in trouble at home and with her peer group used to spend hours quietly chatting to her. Mum was very good at reinforcing the positive and gently discouraging the negative and I think both parties benefited from the experience.

A elderly spinster head teacher I worked with years ago had an amazing calming effect on some very "naughty / disruptive " kids in her school. She would get them one-to-one basis, maybe at lunchtime, give them some "special" routine tasks to do to help her, talk to them very quietly and calmly throughout and really just slow them down, start to break the cycle and make them learn to reflect on different types of behaviours, without them really realising what she was up to!

As a parent our days and thoughts are filled with the stuff we have to do to get through every day and there is also the complex emotional relationship. Older retired people with experience of life and an impartiality are the ones who can more readily take time out and focus wholly on the child for a short time. It's a shame as a resource they can't be used more readily and freely for support.

Saturnalia

leandygandy wrote: »

I am 28 and I was smacked three times growing up, if memory serves me correctly.

I'd get 'Don't do that', followed by 'Don't do that, it's dangerous/rude/insert Mum's reason', followed by 'If you carry on doing that you're going to get a smack', followed by a smack.

ObviouslyI learnt fairly quickly that there was no messing with my Mum!

Never got smacked in public though, only at home? When we were e.g. in the supermarket and misbehaving, we'd get 'If you don't stop that I'm going to take you to the toilets'. I don't remember ever actually being taken to the toilets and I have no idea what would have happened if we had, but the fear of what might happen was evidently enough to make us behave :rotfl:

Exactly the same as my Mum. Like you I only remember being smacked 3 times so obviously knowing what was coming was enough to stop the stupid behaviour.

blue_monkey_2

RacyRed wrote: »

Aaaaahhh, Blue Monkey.

Switch off your computer and don't let other people spoil your one day of peace.

You have PMT but you also have the antidote.... Crisps and chocolate :j:j:j

I'm going to have a sulk because I have crisps but no chocolate (coz I ate that yesterday):rotfl:

I found cake and crisps. Yum. I actually feel a little better now. The cake had chocolate chips in - 2 in 1. :rotfl:

Bored without my kids being here tbh - nothing but work to be done, was going to eat and walk the dog and it's chucking it down now and they dont like the rain so will have to wait for that to stop now.

tiamai_d

Person_one wrote: »

You're right, I got the two mixed up. Oops. I should know better I've written posts like that about a million times to smug parents.

Ah there you go then. !!!!!!!! ferments.

Me, I'm very smug. I have 3 woderfully, perfect children who are at times little !!!!!!s, I shout at them, I have smacked their bums at points and smacked their fingers, I've cuddled them when they were upset, I've stayed up 3 nights in a row when they have been sick, I've slept on a hospital floor when they have been fighting for their lives, I've often been frustrated and angry, I've made mistakes and been wrong but I still love them and I still enjoy being their mother.

Therefore, I do know better than you. I did once believe that I would never do this, that and the next. Then I grew up.

blue_monkey_2

lynzpower wrote: »

Well I no longer work in SW and unless you live in central london ( which it seems you dont) then I wouldnt be able to put you into contact with the people I know who do it.

I dont know what AAS is, what is it?

The Autism Advisory Service - they are very good although the school had to apply for their services, now I can call them when I want but only for my son. They can access the services that are available - for this area that is not a lot.

When they get into their teens there is a mentor service organised by SS but that is all really for our kids. We keep on getting questionaires about what we need but nothing seems to come of them.

The support group organises more but you have to go with the kids (family days out), and what happens when their money dries up I do not know. I know I am not the only one in this situation, there are hundreds of other families in my situation in this area alone - there is simply not enough care to go round for all the children with these conditions - and that is just though with a diagosis. They cannot all get respite care so they have to decide who needs the most help.

building_with_lego

zebredy wrote: »

Also what I saw once which I didn't like was a mum at Lakeside shopping centre smack her daughter for smacking someone else. I overheard her saying, 'That's wrong you should never smack someone else especially your little sister' what example was she setting by telling her it was wrong then doing it her herself?

...

This is how I feel. I once watched a friend's 2 year old daughter hit my friend round the face. She was then ordered to "come here so that I can smack you. Don't hit people". It wasn't until some months later that the parents actually DISCUSSED their attitudes to discipline and implemented what they'd agreed that the daughter's behaviour improved and they became a much happier family.

FWIW I was smacked. I can remember one occasion when I scratched some words into my Nana's piano, and my parents remember one occasion when I drew in a library book, we were also smacked on the back of the hand when Mum lost her temper . I don't feel that I was scarred by it and prior to having children I assumed that I would also smack if need be. Now that I have children I have been very close to smacking each of them once, and in both cases it was when I was about to lose control. The though of smacking as a deliberate, cold- blooded punishment is just as bad though.