Trying for a Baby Part 7

fannyanna

colli wrote: »

Instead of lurching between Af-Ov-2ww-AF try to look at ttc as a period of time (6 months for me) rather than just the one cycle. A cycle that does not end in pregnancy is NOT unsuccessful as it's given you another opportunity to learn about your body and prepare yourself to carry a baby. I've made tweaks to my diet and lifestyle and every month I get a bit healthier and am closer one way or another to having a healthy baby. It's not been an easy journey for me so far, but sometimes that's just the way things are and I know everything we've come against so far will help us to be better parents. Repeat until blue in the face......:o

This is a brilliant way of looking at TTC (and to be honest something that I never even contemplated).

You can add a :money:angle to it to. If you put a bit of money away each month you can think of it as a little nest egg growing for your baby. When AF comes you can find a little positive in the sense that you have another month of putting away a little bit of money for your baby.

Birdie85

colli wrote: »

Right, this is MUCH easier said than done but I'm trying it myself with a little bit of success....

Instead of lurching between Af-Ov-2ww-AF try to look at ttc as a period of time (6 months for me) rather than just the one cycle. A cycle that does not end in pregnancy is NOT unsuccessful as it's given you another opportunity to learn about your body and prepare yourself to carry a baby. I've made tweaks to my diet and lifestyle and every month I get a bit healthier and am closer one way or another to having a healthy baby. It's not been an easy journey for me so far, but sometimes that's just the way things are and I know everything we've come against so far will help us to be better parents. Repeat until blue in the face......:o

Set a plan of action of what you'll do if you haven't concieved by the end of your time frame, even if it's just agreeing to have a good chat with OH about your options.

HTH It is so hard but unfortunately for some of us it takes a while longer, someone has to be last .

Excellent post!

I'm going to *try* to think like this, may make my long cycles a little easier to bear

TeamLowe

thanks both, knew you ladies would understand
we're just doing the 'every 2-3 days' method, no temping or OPKS and all very relaxed and casual like, which i thought was stress free but i think troubles with DH have knocked me for six and stressed me out more
I think once my cycles have settled down into being more regular i'll be able to look at it as a long term thing like colli suggests. they were so regular, even straight after the miscarriage. might be because i've put weight on so maybe i should have losing weight as my main goal (always a good one) and keep BDing every 2-3 days but see TTC as my 'secondary' goal for a while iyswim x x

mrsj28

:wave: everybody!

Been away from the forum for a few days as I'm still ill with the flu Not much fun, have even had to take a day off work (first sick day in about four or five years!). Think I am over the worst of it but feeling a bit weak and weedy still. My BBT thermometer which I got last week has come in handy for taking my (very high) temperature!!!

So much to catch up on as always!

Big ((hugs)) to all those who the witch got recently - Kavics, Primmer, Abis and anyone else I've missed.

2b – fingers crossed for next week testing, hope you will get your BFP and not have to look for a new donor. Good luck for the job interview on Wednesday too!

Nicki – hope you get your ovarian reserve results soon and that your doctor isn't away for too long... or even better that you get a BFP and don't have to worry about test results...

Welcome :wave: miss_emmajane and AllyS - this is a fab thread, lots of helpful advice and support.

Abis – sorry to hear the car and the cat are poorly Hope you are feeling more cheerful soon - TTC is a roller coaster ride and it can be very hard hearing that others are pregnant. But as others have mentioned, we never know what they might have gone through on their own journeys.

Rumfeeble – :eek: at your sister announcing you are trying. If you haven't been through the waiting process yourself, it's clearly impossible to understand how hard it is.. but that doesn't excuse sharing such personal information Hope you are ok.

Cleofish – ((hugs)) hope you enjoy the rest of your holiday and are not too down about TTC.

Ilovecushion- hope the tlp becomes a BFP!

TTC40 – good luck for going to see DH and for well-timed BD-ing! Hope you are not too exhausted by all the driving!

COMP – great to have you here :j

Colli – BRILLIANT approach to TTC, and fannyanna thanks for the added suggestion of the :money: aspect.


As for me TTC-wise - still no sign of AF. CD45 now! Am quite chilled out about it all at the moment. Weirdly I think this long cycle has been good for me - for me it's a reminder that I can't control every aspect of my life - and has chilled me out a bit!

colli

TeamLowe wrote: »

we're just doing the 'every 2-3 days' method, no temping or OPKS and all very relaxed and casual like, which i thought was stress free but i think troubles with DH have knocked me for six and stressed me out more

I don't know about you but I found not using opks more stressful than using them. I sometimes get ov pains and ewcm for up to 5 days before ov, but sometimes it's only a day or two so I was constantly second guessing whether or not I had ov'd/was oving/was going to ov and it drove me bonkers. Every day I'd convince myself THIS was ov day, not the day before and if we didn't bd then we had no chance. It put a lot of pressure on OH and I ended up in tears more than once when he was just too knackered to "perform" which is just awful for everyone (we're a quality rather than quantity couple when it comes to bd). Now I just poas (CB digi so no guess work), if it's positive brill, we'll dtd as much as poss for the next few days (two or three times over three days is much more achievable for us that going for 6 days on the trot!) and then relax knowing that we've done all we can for that month.

Primmer

Teamlowe - hugs, this whole process of ttc is so frustrating.

What I like about the posts by Colli and Fannyanna is that they give us ideas of how to take some control back and I think that this is what is so hard about ttc is the feeling that a lot of it is out of our control.

I have by appointment to see the fs on 26 Mrach 2012 and so am trying to look at losing a few more pounds before the appointment and also that I have one more ttc cycle before then but trying to think that having the appointment takes some pressure off in that if I don't get my bfp before there is a professional I can talk to about it who can carry out more tests to see if there is a problem.

I got the result of my chlamydia swab test this afternoon - and that came back as normal nothing detected. I also received a questionnaire int he post which both me and dh have to complete and send back to fs before our appointment.

colli

I can't take all the credit . I've got "the baby making bible" by Emma Cannon and it advocates taking 4 cycles to work on your health before ttc and seeing each cycle as an opportunity to improve your health (I'm not THAT patient and am following the guidelines alongside ttc). By focusing on the long term it takes the emotional rollercoaster element out of ttc.

For those who don't know me I've been ttc since Oct 10 and had 2 mc in that time, as I'm taking the relaxed approach for lucky bean no. 3 I don't post here often but I lurk A LOT and can't resist chiming in . Accepting we're in this for the long haul has been very liberating and really does make things easier.

lemonmelon_2

(((((((hugs)))))) TeamLowe, some excellent advice from Colli and fannyanna, I think I'm going to try that approach too - month by month is too hard.

Hope you're feeling better soon MrsJ28, well done on being so chilled out - maybe your body is just sorting itself out to be in tip-top condition for your baby?

I've got a horrid cold today and its making me feel miserable in the way only a cold can because you know its so pathetic. Accidentally slept for four hours this afternoon so I feel a little better now.

Hi COMP, hope you don't have to stay too long

Primmer- Yay for not having chlamydia, always good news!

Flee_2

Well said colli. Nice to see some positive vibes being spread around the forum.
BUT also big hugs to those who need them, as this is hard work and draining. I thought it would take a few months to get pregnant, maybe up to 6 months and I am now at that stage and feeling the strain.
When I had my ultrasound scan to check my ovaries the lady told me that it can take up to 18 months to get pregnant for the typical female. So most of us are just at the beginning of this.

Aida_2

Hello,

Nothing happens here. FF marked my Day 17 as OV day even if my last 3 temps were taken a little bit earlier (I think I was stressed last couple of days) .

I've started wearing the eye mask again just to finish off the lunaception test.

Do you exercise during 2WW? Just not sure if I should carry on as normal (have something to drink, exercise etc)