Trying for a Baby Part 7

colli

hey bigz . Sorry your mil is not improving . Whilst I hope for your BFP sooooo much don't put pressure on yourself thinking it will be the only thing to help spur your mil on, she needs to fight for herself too . Thinking of you x

TeamLowe

bigzippy wrote: »

Ilovecushions...hoping it's a tlp for you and you get your bfp tomorrow!

Comp - welcome to the dark/crazy not-waiting-anymore-side

Thanks for the hugs birdie & primmer and for thinking of me minted
lemonmelon, mil is not doing too great but is stable right now. She has so many things wrong with her that it's very hard for the doctors to fix the acute issues, as she's a terrible candidate for surgery, so it's very hard for any of us to imagine her ever being able to go home atm she was DNR again last week there's a lot going on with her and it only takes one relatively small thing to make her whole system spiral out of control. She's getting more and more depressed and withdrawn and I feel like the only thing that would put a smile on her face, or give her some reason to keep fighting, would be if we got a bfp... Which is not in our control

Sorry guys, very gloomy, but this is why I've not been posting

so sorry to hear that, lots of love to you and her son

although i don't like you thinking that a BFP would make things better, i know that it would but i don't think putting pressure on yourself does you any good and will only make it hurt ten times more if this is not your month. which obviously i really really hope it is
you got to take care of yourself too Mrs x x

abis21

:(:(

You think yr coping ok, and then another pregnancy gets announced on facebook.

I swear nearly every single person on my friends list is pregnant or has a new born baby.

Its not like I have millions of friends on there!! They just all seem to be pregnant!

TeamLowe

*big hugs* abis, it's always when you least expect it too
i always remind myself that you never know how much they may have struggled as well. not that i wish pain on anyone, just makes me feel better to think it's not just me and i'm broken in some way x x

abis21

Thanks Teamlowe. I know what yr saying, but I had talked to her about babies before as we both wanted them, and she had said she was going to start trying at christmas and now shes just had her 13 week scan, so obviously she caught on quickly and probably came off the pill early.

Hate the way I get so jealous - its such a horrible emotion.

Its lovely that she having a baby, it really is, and I should just be really happy for her, and not think about myself. But all I keep thinking is when will it be my turn :(:o

fannyanna

bigzippy wrote: »

She's getting more and more depressed and withdrawn and I feel like the only thing that would put a smile on her face, or give her some reason to keep fighting, would be if we got a bfp... Which is not in our control

Woooaaaahhh, don't do that to yourself. Don't add even more pressure on yourself to get a BFP. This process is hard enough as it is without thinking things like that. You need to be kind to yourself.

Anyway, whilst I'm sure a BFP would indeed put a smile on your MIL's face if she's suffering from depression she's still likely to feel bad after. Unfortunately it's one of those things that you can't make better.

I hope that didn't come across the wrong way but I just think you have enough on your plate at the moment and I don't like seeing you beat yourself up about something which you rightly said you can't control.

x x x

EDIT: Ok, colli and Teamlowe already said it too so hopefully you get that we're not being mean.

fannyanna

abis21 - I know how you feel. I think part of it is that you're so sensitive to anything baby related. Things haven't changed (there's always been people getting pregnant, having babies, stupid clearblue adverts on the TV) it's just that you now want something really badly and you're suddenly noticing that other people have/are having what you want. It doesn't make you a bad person though x

TeamLowe

it's the pampers advert that really gets to me, the 'soon the only place for him will be in your arms' line and the fact that it shows a healthy baby on a scan. that's all i ever wanted. i was never even allowed to see the scan of my poor baby ((

all my PMA seems to have gone today, just can't take another 2 weeks of symptom spotting, then getting excited cos my period's late then ohno, it comes anyway. just can't be doing it with it all at all. really wish i could take break but at the same time every month without a baby is killing me xx

fannyanna

TeamLowe wrote: »

it's the pampers advert that really gets to me, the 'soon the only place for him will be in your arms' line and the fact that it shows a healthy baby on a scan. that's all i ever wanted. i was never even allowed to see the scan of my poor baby ((

all my PMA seems to have gone today, just can't take another 2 weeks of symptom spotting, then getting excited cos my period's late then ohno, it comes anyway. just can't be doing it with it all at all. really wish i could take break but at the same time every month without a baby is killing me xx

Do you do temping, OPKs or anything like that?

If you do what about taking a break from that for a cycle or two? That way you'll feel as though you're having your break but at the same time you're still actively trying (but in a more relaxed way).

colli

TeamLowe wrote: »

all my PMA seems to have gone today, just can't take another 2 weeks of symptom spotting, then getting excited cos my period's late then ohno, it comes anyway. just can't be doing it with it all at all. really wish i could take break but at the same time every month without a baby is killing me xx

Right, this is MUCH easier said than done but I'm trying it myself with a little bit of success....

Instead of lurching between Af-Ov-2ww-AF try to look at ttc as a period of time (6 months for me) rather than just the one cycle. A cycle that does not end in pregnancy is NOT unsuccessful as it's given you another opportunity to learn about your body and prepare yourself to carry a baby. I've made tweaks to my diet and lifestyle and every month I get a bit healthier and am closer one way or another to having a healthy baby. It's not been an easy journey for me so far, but sometimes that's just the way things are and I know everything we've come against so far will help us to be better parents. Repeat until blue in the face......:o

Set a plan of action of what you'll do if you haven't concieved by the end of your time frame, even if it's just agreeing to have a good chat with OH about your options.

HTH It is so hard but unfortunately for some of us it takes a while longer, someone has to be last .

PS do you have VIP FF? That's the WORST for ss, I'm surprised QQ lets us have it :cool: