Depression

Tiff_2

Hi ethel hun!:hello:
Oh sweetheart, I'm so sorry for all you're going through. I know everyone here will be thinking of you angel.

quote=EthelBloggsHiya everyone :wave:
Hope you're all fine

Things have been a bit stressy here lately..
My son's school have screwed up again.. we had a big meeting just before they broke up for easter and they said they had put some plans in place to help him get back into school and he would be attending a specialist unit to help re-integrate him. Guess what? He duly turned up on Tuesday and they had no knowledge of him and worse yet they have filled their quota and have no space for him til after the summer :mad:
That is disgusting angel! You have grounds here to tell them off because they are failing in their duty of providing DS with an education! After the summer huh? Great - just 4 and 1/2 months to go then! Unacceptable! If you need a Tiff letter or if I can help hun, let me know. They have legal obligations.
My son started back to school after his bullying by going in for mornings or afternoons for a couple of weeks. After 4 days, the others were so glad to have him back, he decided to go back fulltime by himself and not use the whole two weeks.
Whether it's work or school, if you're returning after a break or huge stress, it's always better to ease yourself back in gently.;)

It had seemed that my daughter was getting better.. but on wednesday she managed to cut a vein and almost succeeded in killing herself. She lost half her blood and had to have a transfusion and is now very weak and poorly. Those of you who do self-harm.. PLEASE PLEASE think about what you're doing and the potential consequences, not just for you but for those who care about you. It's not big and it's not clever and it's very a selfish and hurtful thing to do.
Ethel, I really feel for you hun and I'm so sorry about DD's crisis. I hope she makes a good recovery angel.
I know you must be heartbroken hunnie. You're doing all you can angel to help her.:A Sometimes, we're left feeling so helpless. No parent wants to go through this and my thoughts are with you hun!

Unfortunately, there are some illnesses which present themselves in this way. We can't understand how our loved ones can do this to themselves, how they can put us through the heartache, but it's part of their illness. Which, of course, is of no help to us at all.

I feel so sorry for the people who self-harm or OD, but I feel even sorrier for the trauma their families go through.

PLEASE listen to ethel's suggestion guys and get help so that you don't have to get to this point. I know sh is a release for some but please seek professional help before you do this to yourself. I'm not having a go at anyone. Sh is a secretive symptom and even if the family/friends knew about it before you did it, it probably wouldn't stop you. You'd find a way. But please put yourself in the hands of the professionals first who can at least keep you safer.

It's so hard to understand many mental ill health symptoms unless you've been there, but I'd hate for anyone to try something as a cry for help, go through a lot of awful pain and end up succeeding in paying the final price. You can never guarantee the outcome of sh or ods guys. I know you must be in a lot of emotional pain to do this to yourself. Please don't give yourselves scars of pain that you'll have to live with forever. Each one of you is so very precious.

As for me.. I have to go and have tests next week for thyroid something or other and diabetes.. I think it would be a kindness if someone would take me out the back and put me out of my misery, they would if I was a dog! I'm seriously getting to the stage where I'm worn out with everything and just keep wondering what life is gonna throw at me next - whatever it is I don't want it!
Take care all xxxxxx[/quote]
Ethel sweetheart, you are an inspiration to so many of us. Good luck with your tests hun - at least there'll be help for those problems.

I can understand how you feel hun because I've used those exact words to medical staff. It feels like every corner you turn, there's another smack in the face waiting. I won't insult you in any way hun by dismissing the trauma you are going through. That's very real. But equally angel, you've got the responsibility of getting the help you need. You're wonderful on here to so many hun so shout out if you need us at any time. Please keep us posted on how everyone is doing.
You're a survivor ethel hun and I wouldn't want it any other way. My thoughts and prayers are with you angel and with your children. Sorry I haven't been of much help I know but I do care and I'm here for you, as is everyone else. Talk soon hun.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

EthelBloggs

Update since this morning..

My daughter has been moved to an ultra secure unit in Berkshire. They've moved her because her current unit couldn't guarantee to actually keep her alive because now she's found the vein she keeps re-opening it and refusing treatment for the serious amounts of blood she's losing each time and to have the wound cleaned, glued or bandaged. This new place means she will be on 1-to-1 observations 24/7 and it's described as an intensive care unit but for psychiatric patients.

I cant stop crying, my lil girl has never been so far away from me before and i'm so scared I'm really gona lose her.

beeswing

Hi everyone, I'm feeling much better today. Thanks to everyone, esp Tiff for the lovely messages and thoughts. I hope things improve soon Ethel. I'm so glad I found this site, I really don't know what I would have done without it these last few days. Just knowing there's other people out there going through the same emotions etc is a great help. Speak to you all soon.

Let_Robinson_Sing

Hey folks.

Had a better day today. Saw my CPN and felt better afterwards, which was good. Cant wait for next thursday as g.f is staying over for a few days. Cant wait for that Next friday I am taking her out for a meal at a nice Italian Restaurant.

Karrie

Tiff

You are an :A

You words are such a tower of strength for me.

For someone that I haven't met, I will be truely grateful to you forever.

I have told 4 people of my illness :eek: and they've all been so kind. As you said there are very kind people around. I even told one person who I work with. Yesterday I burst into tears because my boss was having a dig at me because I wouldn't tell her why I took the day of sick. The girl I told just gave me lots of hugs. I was ashamed and didn't want people to think I was a crap mum and couldn't cope.

I still feel very low and tearful but WILL get through this. My friend is coming to the appeal with me for support.

I have been advised to call the police regarding my son's problems but I really really can't face it right now. I know it's not fair but I'd rather my son didn't go out until I am stronger. The kids parents are "nutters" apparently and I can do without them in my life right now. I am weak and hate confrontation.

You took so much time to reply to my call of despair and for that, I am truly grateful.

Tiff_2

Hi ethel hun!:hello:
We'll start with a stupid question hun - how are you holding up? Thanks for getting back to us with an update angel.
quote=EthelBloggsUpdate since this morning..
My daughter has been moved to an ultra secure unit in Berkshire. They've moved her because her current unit couldn't guarantee to actually keep her alive because now she's found the vein she keeps re-opening it and refusing treatment for the serious amounts of blood she's losing each time and to have the wound cleaned, glued or bandaged. This new place means she will be on 1-to-1 observations 24/7 and it's described as an intensive care unit but for psychiatric patients.
I know you must be frantic with worry ethel. The good thing is that they are helping her, even though it's hurting you. It's no consolation right now hun, but they've done it to help her. They'll be able to nurse her wounds without her permission too.

I know it's awful angel, but she obviously needs this or she wouldn't be going there. They are most likely to succeed atm in saving her life, by giving her the constant 24 hour 1-1 help she needs. And if that's what it takes to save her right now hun, then it's a good thing.

I cant stop crying, my lil girl has never been so far away from me before and i'm so scared I'm really gona lose her./quote
I can imagine how you just want her in hugging distance hun but she needs this help. Of course you're scared angel - terrified is probably more like it. You're all doing all you can and I wish I knew of a quick fix for you ethel. But this is going to take time...you're an intelligent person
ethel - you know this already. It's a waiting game now hun and I really feel for you.

You must try hun, however hard, to look after yourself and DS. You need each other angel and DD will need you both.

Practically speaking, there are DWP entitlements that can help you towards the cost of travelling angel. Also, you need some extra support right now hun. I seem to remember a couple of things but I'll need to check them first before I put my foot in it.:rolleyes: Don't be afraid to see your dr either hun - they can help you through this trauma. It's an option anyway angel.

Right now you're still reeling from the shock of it all and I think you are being incredibly brave hun. :T :A
Just try and take baby steps ethel and we'll see what practical help there is ok? It's a terribly difficult and new situation for you but hopefully things will calm down a little and we, as people, tend to adapt at some point once the shock has eased a bit. I'm sorry if that's no help angel but right now, you're feeling devastated by this new situation, as anyone would be.

I just hope you know that we all send you lots of love and prayers ethel. We're all thinking of you darling. Stay in touch hun ok? Be kind to yourself angel.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Well guys, the Tiffster is calling it a night for now.;)

There are a lot of us going through some very hard times, especially our ethel, love her. Kind of makes you think sometimes - there but for the grace of God...

But what's important is that ethel felt she could come here and talk to us about it and that takes real courage.:T

For everyone of us who hasn't found our answers yet, please hold on and know that on here, there are a whole group of amazing people who really do care about each other.:T Don't ever feel alone guys, ok?

It's so heartening to see how we try to help each other through the impossible.:A
I don't know about you, but I thank God for that!

I'll finish replies hopefully tomorrow guys, so you can come out now.:rolleyes:
Thinking of you all and Tiffy hugs for everyone.
Take care all.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Sugar_Coated_Owl

Ethel, I am so sorry to hear about your daughter. I can't begin to imagine what you must be going through. Remember that we are all here for you hun. I hope your boyfriend is providing you with lots of support.

Have you been able to speak/see your daughter? How does she seem in herself?

Hopefully at the secure unit she has been moved to it will be impossible for her to hurt herself.

You need to remain strong for your daughter. She needs you more than ever right now. Make sure you are getting all the help that you need as well to help you cope with things. As Tiff said you both need each other.

xXx

Sugar_Coated_Owl

Sorry that I haven't been around as much guys. Being back at work is making me really tired.

Work is going OK. Stressful and demanding but it's been good to get back into a routine. Went on a training day on Wednesday. I was really worried about going but I went and coped OK. I want to reduce my hours (not work Saturday's) but it doesn't seem like it's possible which is a real shame. I'd much prefer just to work Mon-Fri.

I felt a little upset earlier at work. One of the guys who has been covering for me (he's still working there atm) noticed the cuts/scars on my arms and asked what they were e.t.c I told the truth, said it was where I used to self-harm. He's like 'what?' so I repeated myself. He still said 'what?' I was getting quite embarrassed as 2 other people could hear what I was saying. When he realised I said it was from self harm, he said 'what's that?' I was in no mood for explaining so just said I'm not going into details. I find it hard to believe he didn't know what self harm is. It's the first time in ages that someone has pointed out the cuts/scars so I guess that's why I felt upset.

I got home today to find a letter from my bank. We couldn't pay the sum of £29 to XXX as it would have taken you overdrawn. Nice I thought. Next sentence...we have charged you a £38 fee :mad: Just when I though I had sorted things out. I had about £11 in my account so hadn't quite left enough to cover the payment (my fault I know). I just wish that they would be a little more understanding at times *sigh*

I've finished with my bf. I ended it yesterday

So yeah, another crap week over with.

EthelBloggs

Thanks everyone, for the messages here and the pms

I've spoken to my daughter and she's miserable, feels as though she's being punished.. can't say I blame her, having spoken to the staff there.. it does sound a bit prison like :eek:

I'm going to go down there and have a look meself, as well as bring her some things that she'll need. She can't pop off to the shops and get bits n bobs as she wants anymore.. she can make a list and a staff member will get her shopping on designated days. Anything I bring her will be searched before she can have it... gawd I really hate this.

I still can't stop crying.. it's embarassing.. i went into the local corner shop earlier and burst into tears when I paying for my milk n bread
My mum's the same, crying and crying.. I feel sorry for my son, he resorted to weeding the garden to escape from us I think.

Her blood pressure is dangerously low and her heartbeat is too fast, and something is wrong with her stomach.. I just want my little girl to be ok again and I don't know how to fix her