Depression

queensway_boy

Big hugs to everyone,thinking about you all



........

patchwork_cat

Is vivid dreaming a common side effect of either prozac or coming off prozac?

Sugar_Coated_Owl

I read that if you stop taking Prozac suddenly it can cause vivid dreams and also when you come off of it that can be the case to.

gillette147

Hi everyone.
I can't got time to readback but I am thinking of you all and sending out hugs and handshakes to everyone.

I have had a nervous meltdown today. Woke up at 7am, got up at 8am. Read four old exam paper and then tried reading my notes. It was just bouncing off my head. My brain has had enough of it and is rebelling. I have lost my common sense......... So I gave up. Phoned my mom, went for a drive, went to get rid of some aggression by hitting golf balls at the range. Then spend 2.5hrs on the putting green. I've got blisters I played so long. I just needed some time NOT thinking about the course.

It's stupid not to study but I had a row with g/f yesterday and I am just all over the place. At the minute I feel the exam is unimportant. My well being seems more important. This anger, fear and pain inside me needs to be dealt with. I feel I can't cope yet at the same time I want to sort it out. I really wish I could see my counsellor now. To find a way to let go of this prison of unhappiness I've put myself in.

I feel let down by the world. I hate people. I am alone in a godless world.
I don't know if I rejected the world or the world rejected me first.

I'm calmer now....but is that an illusion I make for myself? None of it goes away. I just accept it for a while. Then it comes back as depression or a need to push people away. I am so messed up....I don't know whether I can be normal. I'm trapped in cycles of testing/pushing away/hurting myself.

I want to be a nice person but I'm not really. I do the right thing but I resent it. But I don't know how to ask for what I want. I wait for someone to come into my life who will know what I want and give it me - because they love me. But no-one does. My g/f doesn't understand me. Not even near. I get advice I don't want and when I try to explain - it is too foreign to her to comprehend.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh! Just a badger rant people xxx

I'll be far better at 4pm tomorrow

rose07

awww badger and anyone else that needs one







xxxxxxx

EthelBloggs

gillette147 wrote:

Hi everyone.
I can't got time to readback but I am thinking of you all and sending out hugs and handshakes to everyone.

I have had a nervous meltdown today. Woke up at 7am, got up at 8am. Read four old exam paper and then tried reading my notes. It was just bouncing off my head. My brain has had enough of it and is rebelling. I have lost my common sense......... So I gave up. Phoned my mom, went for a drive, went to get rid of some aggression by hitting golf balls at the range. Then spend 2.5hrs on the putting green. I've got blisters I played so long. I just needed some time NOT thinking about the course.

It's stupid not to study but I had a row with g/f yesterday and I am just all over the place. At the minute I feel the exam is unimportant. My well being seems more important. This anger, fear and pain inside me needs to be dealt with. I feel I can't cope yet at the same time I want to sort it out. I really wish I could see my counsellor now. To find a way to let go of this prison of unhappiness I've put myself in.

I feel let down by the world. I hate people. I am alone in a godless world.
I don't know if I rejected the world or the world rejected me first.

I'm calmer now....but is that an illusion I make for myself? None of it goes away. I just accept it for a while. Then it comes back as depression or a need to push people away. I am so messed up....I don't know whether I can be normal. I'm trapped in cycles of testing/pushing away/hurting myself.

I want to be a nice person but I'm not really. I do the right thing but I resent it. But I don't know how to ask for what I want. I wait for someone to come into my life who will know what I want and give it me - because they love me. But no-one does. My g/f doesn't understand me. Not even near. I get advice I don't want and when I try to explain - it is too foreign to her to comprehend.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh! Just a badger rant people xxx

I'll be far better at 4pm tomorrow

Hiya gilly

Nothing wrong with taking a break from studying.. in fact you probably did the right thing. All you can do now is your best. We'll all be rooting for you tomorrow, you know that.

I think the things you've mentioned about your mood/feelings.. that's just the nature of the beast we're all trying to control. Have you thought about keeping a journal or blog? A lot of people find that really helps them to see the wood for the trees.. I keep saying I'm going to do it and in fact I've bought countless books for the purpose but I'm too afraid of anyone finding and reading it to actually do it... I do have a livejournal account but again, too paranoid

Relationship wise.. I know exactly what you mean.. I wish my b/f could understand, trouble is, I'm crap at explaining cos I find it really hard to put my needs into words.. so I tend to isolate myself which gets him frustrated and so we have those horrible rows quite often!

I often wonder if any of my emotions are real.. if I'm real or if it's all just a big illusion, sometimes I feel like I'm going thru the motions, being a caring mum, loving partner, dutiful daughter, fun friend.. I don't know if I actually really feel anything.. and that's scary!! it's like I'm just doing what's expected.. but I think if I didn't do that.. I suspect I would never emerge from under the duvet and just rot there :eek:

On the other hand.. at times what I do feel (or think I feel) is so overwhelming, if I ever did feel the real thing.. I might have a heart attack from the shock of it!

I dunno.. weird waffle xxxx

Sugar_Coated_Owl

Oh Gillette it sounds like you're having a really !!!! time atm. I think it was a good move that you took some time out today and relaxed a little.

Have you been able to speak to your girlfriend today to sort things out?

Do you not have someone (like a counsellor) that you can call out of hours to talk to? Maybe the Crisis Team?

You are a nice person, please don't think so negatively of yourself. You may not be able to see the positive things about you but we definately do here.

Has your girlfriend ever suffered with depression/mental illness? Sometimes people that haven't just don't understand what it's like. She probably tries her best to help.

Good luck for tomorrow.

xxx

rose07

Just to say hi to you all, i havent been able to read back yet, so im soz

im a seriously !!!!!! off rosie

im like this ....



with a bit off this



and this



with this and this



basically a thinky rosie

much love all



xxxxxxxxxx

learning_to_drive

Gilly son, hope you are feeling better, you did the right thing, you are stressing and panicking hence why the knowledge wont go in, because you are panicking you are worrying about more stuff and worrying that you dont know what the score is with anything. Not true!

You will be fine, you have followed a plan, you posted the other day saying that you had done some old exam papers and that you were feeling better, if you have prep'd all you can, then well done, you can do no more.

Dont work yourself up about it, it sounds like you have done more than enough revision.

Let_Robinson_Sing

See you all tomorrow my lovelies xxxxxxxx