Depression

tevangelynne

feelinggood wrote:

I just think its stupid to believe something 100% - there is (or SHOULD be) doubt in everything. Nothing is certain, and nothing is a given.

you clearly are a wonderful person , you dont know me from adam and gave up your time to me yesterday to help me and offer advice and you did help me . just knowing someone was there just helped .

my husband hasnt left yet i guess i have to see what tonite brinhgs when he walks in the door .. im very very upset and on edge keeping checking cupboards see if any of his stuff has gone things like that .

he did text earlier and ask me to ring up the football team he trains which is my daughters team to ask for a tracksuit for him .. so does that mean he isnt going to leave ?? as he has alreasy said he wouldnt continue doing it if he left . who knows i guess

Scarlett1

learning_to_drive wrote:

I'm aware that is yet another job jump, but when I was really suffering, I view that as me not being myself. I wasn't in the right frame of mind for anything, I don't mind ASDA at all, but it's having a big effect on me are nights. My sleeping is disrupted, I feel tired and drained all the time!

I think normality is required, I have built myself up nicely and done rather well, only had one major panicy moment which was on my first night, but I managed to recover well! The money aspect is sorted pretty much, once the car finance has cleared I will sell it, lose £1500 on it because of the damage and depreciation etc. Not good but it's a lesson learnt properly.

In my other thread I've discussed teaching, and it's something that I am looking to pursue again, I'm chasing University in September, I'm looking in the job market for something that never will be there, so hence my current prospective look elsewhere, it shall all work itself out though. I must emphasise I have been through hell recently, as many people are battling it constantly I appreciate that, it makes you realise that you can come out of the other side, and things will fall into place, however I remember one specific incident when I was walking around Meadowhall in a complete daze, scary, went to do some Christmas shopping and ended getting nothing more than two books on overcoming depression and overcoming anxiety.

But now I look at it, I've hopefully turned the corner, when that happens, you take stock of what's what in life, and realise what really is important, going out, socialising, approaching 30 girls in 1 night for a chat and not really caring whether you get knocked back or not! My friends have said it's great to have me back (my nickname's Mourinho because of my self belief) you can imagine and appreciate what they must have been thinking when they saw the change I went through, it was like I became a different person. But they were there for me, and after all I've been through, I appreciate so much more, and think that life is too short to be unhappy. I've got to chase my dream of teaching, surely, I cant let anything hold me back, I will have the least amount of debt I've ever had since the age of 18 by September.

I'm rapidly running out of excuses not to go, work my nuts off, get a 1st and then chase the super headship by the time im 35 ish. When I get paid next, I'm planning to take my parents out for a posh meal, all paid by me, but just for them, to really show my appreciation for the sacrifice of getting a loan for me (potentially !!!!!!! credit rating if I default) risky because of my recent issues, but they have done that for me, its made me more savvy (although I've spent a bit recently on nights out) I'm more aware of credit and things like that, I've reduced internet to £8 a month from £25, mobiles now £35 fixed as I haggled and got put onto the new unlimited message tariff with Orange and cancelled my 02 contract so £95 a month has become roughly £45 a month. Once the car goes, I'll lose a bit of freedom, but gain a lot more cash, and a bus pass into town (work) costs £44, £350 at the minute for car hp, insurance and petrol.

To prove I really did love my job, here's me at Sainsbury's in happier times, was taken by a mate of mine who was shopping!



I haven't being posting much recently, have been out a lot and having to sort things out, sleep and work, but I'll be on here a fair bit from now, Its all about focus, that's my plan, I jump from thing to thing because its what I do best!

nice buns
also well done on reducing your outgoings :T

feelinggood_2

tevangelynne wrote:

you clearly are a wonderful person , you dont know me from adam and gave up your time to me yesterday to help me and offer advice and you did help me .

Sadly, chances are I was just being like most people, and acting completely selfishly :-/ Everyone is out for themselves, I doubt anybodies actions are truly selfless.

tevangelynne

feelinggood wrote:

Sadly, chances are I was just being like most people, and acting completely selfishly :-/ Everyone is out for themselves, I doubt anybodies actions are truly selfless.

how was repling to me helping you

feelinggood_2

Everybody here is just replying to boost their own ego, they can say to themselves that they've done some good, so we are allowed to feel better about ourselves. Same reason peple give to charity.

learning_to_drive

Everybody here is just replying to boost their own ego, they can say to themselves that they've done some good, so we are allowed to feel better about ourselves. Same reason peple give to charity.

I dont think anyone posts on here to boost their own ego, read through some of my earlier posts, some of PP's and others first posts regarding depression and their feelings. Saying that people post for their ego is wide of the mark.

At the minute, you are obviously subconsciously thinking that everyone dislikes you, no one likes you and posts just for themselves, you wont get people here giving you such ammunition to think like that. Your mind has a theory and you are inventing evidence / facts to support that! We do like you, and we do like you being here

feelinggood_2

This is probably the wrong place to discuss this, I just don't think that anything is truly selfless

I didn't mean to offend anyone. I apologise.

tevangelynne

you helped me tons and if it made you feel good thats brill to

Lexi321

I believe the whole feeling good from helping people is a natural part of humanity, to try and get us to help each other. Why is it a bad thing, if you are helping someone out. Obviously there's times when you arn't doing it for the other person, but on here I think you are, and if we all are, and we're all feeling good about it then, what's it matter better than feeling bad

feelinggood_2

It isn't nessercary a bad thing - a lot of good things come from bad things. I'm just saying that its wise to remember that for most part at least, most people have ulterior and selfish motives for most of the things they do That said, sometimes the benefits of selfish behaviour cancel out the fact that its selfish, which is what is happening here. Thats just what I think anyway