Depression

tevangelynne

i have been crying on and off begging him to stay saying i will support him i will do anything . i shouldnt beg should i . shoulod i just let him go

feelinggood_2

tevangelynne wrote:

thank you im crying i think he just wants my aproval and for me to say its o u go .. i dont want him to i wont be able to cope with out him. he did take tabs before and they worked he stopped them when he met me .. is it my fault he is depressed. i offered to go to docs with him

Don't feel to blame for his depression, and don't let him feel that you blame yourself - this will just make him feel more guilty. He had depression before he met you, so it is in no way your fault.

tevangelynne

he knows im upset and i have lost a stone in three weeks .. could do with losing a few pounds

geminilady

tevangelynne wrote:

thank you im crying i think he just wants my aproval and for me to say its o u go .. i dont want him to i wont be able to cope with out him. he did take tabs before and they worked he stopped them when he met me .. is it my fault he is depressed. i offered to go to docs with him

((hug)) This must be very hard for you but remember he is ill and may not mean everything he says.I know you think you will not be able to cope if he goes but trust me you WILL you are stronger than you think.If the tablets worked before then he should realise they would again.It is not your fault he is depessed it is an illness,nobodys fault.Does he think he is depressed or just not happy in the relationship? if that is the case would he be willing to go to relate?

geminilady

feelinggood wrote:

Has he ever had any talking therapies? He is perfectly entitled to see a different doctor at the practice if he does feel his usual doctor does n't nderstand.
It sounds like he might just want a lot of reasurrance that he is worthy of being with you. He mentioned he doesn[t want to come back to the house - could there be a problem there - noisy neighbours, diy that needs doing or something? It is easy when we are depressed to think that everything is awful, and forget that there actually are lots of happy times. If you can get him to open up, it might help, but if he is this unhappy, seeing a doctor is a good idea. Don't worry about asking for advice, someone with better advice should be along shortly, I'm no good at this!

Feely,stop putting yourself down all the time,bad habit of yours! you give very good advise and are always here to try and help.

tevangelynne

yes feeley you have been a great help and comfort to me thxs i can just see thr the tears to type i havent approached the subject of him going again but i know he wants to .. no he is def depressed but said being here is making him worse .. my girls arent his and he said he doesnt want to play happy familys or do anything with them, he hasd two boys which his ex wife wont let him see he had a court order .. but it was broken .. i met him after they had broken up so its nothing to do with me .. he said he cant deal with guilt of being with my kids and not his but he shpouldnt of married me ,.

Horasio

Sazbo wrote:

Good luck with putting the house on, CC. Fingers crossed you get a decent offer asap and then you'll be a step closer to your goal. Any chance of the veggie bake recipe? Altho, dunno why I'm saying that when I've still got veggie haggis leftovers from the other night!:D Sazzyxx

Veggy haggis would be perfect with what I made.

I boiled some continental lentils, potatoes thinly sliced, fried mushrooms and green peppers. You could use the veggy haggis instead of lentils.

Layered it like a lasagne, put white wine in the mix to keep it moist.

Topped with smoked cheese.

For pud had HM rhubarb crumble and finally finished the mint spies:D

I should be posting this on the OS board:D

Horasio

stenny wrote:

Hi Blinky,

Is that you back home?
Did you have a nice time?

He's yielded to the the charms of Edinburgh - I blame the Highland fling:D;)

blinky

Had a lovely time in Edinburgh - that wind was cold on Saturday. Just had time to catch up on all the posts.

Off to 'R's place soon.

Big hugs to all

Sazbo

tevangelynne wrote:

yes feeley you have been a great help and comfort to me thxs i can just see thr the tears to type i havent approached the subject of him going again but i know he wants to .. no he is def depressed but said being here is making him worse .. my girls arent his and he said he doesnt want to play happy familys or do anything with them, he hasd two boys which his ex wife wont let him see he had a court order .. but it was broken .. i met him after they had broken up so its nothing to do with me .. he said he cant deal with guilt of being with my kids and not his but he shpouldnt of married me ,.

Hi tevangelynne, indeed feelie is a great help - she just doesn't see it:) But as she says, counselling may well be a way forward for him. Maybe he feels uncomfortable because the ADs helped, but didn't address the underlying issues. Perhaps he needs to talk through what's triggered the depression - maybe needs to talk about the 'guilt' surrounding his kids, perhaps the difficulty moving on from that to a relationship with you, maybe there are also issues for him with work? Could be a number of different things that he feels burdensome. In any event you musn't feel it is entirely your problem to solve. Maybe him saying he wants to leave is motivated by his feeling a bit helpless as to what's the way forward. But there is help available in a variety of forms, so please don't feel all is lost. You can always chat to us:) Big hugs to you hun. Much love, Sazxxx