Broody when your kids are older?

Queenie

Yes, what you are feeling is perfectly natural ((hugs))

Some things to take into consideration:-

Terrible two's, combined with teenagers, (basically teens are terrible two's with HORMONES) can be an explosive mix! Do you have the stamina?

Teens, although parents often don't realise it, need just as much parental time *available* to them as toddlers - even if they don't utilise it, they still inwardly *need* it

Teens can sometimes resent the amount of time and demands that a baby puts on *their* parents. Not always, but, as they are dealing with and coming to terms with their own emotions, and strength of them, it can cause seemingly illogical 'jealousies' to surface.

However financially secure you may *think* you are at this point in your childrens lives, teens can and do put extra stresses on the finances - growth spurts for starters!! Your food bill will escalate and their clothing needs will rocket as will the price as they will be needing adult size clothing! Secondary school trips and expenses are far greater than those of Primary School too.

No one can decide for you, that is between you and your husband; but, it's only far to point out some of the things you need to take into account when making your decision. Everyone's experience is different, obviously, but a teen is a teen is a TEEN :rotfl:

Spendless

Are you a bit worried about entering the job market? That's understandable, from what you've said I'm guessing you only had a few years after leaving school to being at home with your eldest.

You had your older 2 together, would you just have 1 other child or have 2 together again, and if you did, have you got room etc for 4 children.

Echoing what Queenie has said, my friend with a 14 year gap between her 2 has said she was always stressed out dealing with 2 completely different problems at the same time, eg worried son was going to fail exams, whilst trying to wean daughter off her dummy.

What about going back to work for couple of years and then if you're still feeling broody, having another.

lisa_75

Spendless wrote:

Are you a bit worried about entering the job market? That's understandable, from what you've said I'm guessing you only had a few years after leaving school to being at home with your eldest.

You had your older 2 together, would you just have 1 other child or have 2 together again, and if you did, have you got room etc for 4 children.

.

That is a good point. I have never worked at all really. I got pregnant when I was at uni (the first time) and left to have my baby. I think I may just be scared of going into the job market.

As for space, there is no way we could fit 4 kids into this house. 3 would be a push.

I am just so confused with these feelings. I have never felt broody in my life (first child was an accident, had the second because husband wanted another) and feel like this force is taking me over. Logically having another would be a crazy idea, but my body is craving to be pregannt.

Thanks for all your replies. Maybe I should borrow my friends toddler for a few hours!

inkie

I'm 35 and DDs 10 & 7 - watched a prog last night on sextuplets and could have felt broody - but I enjoy the 'me' time that I have now - and so I think that we makde the right decision to stop at 2.

inkie

As for space, there is no way we could fit 4 kids into this house. 3 would be a push.

If your hearts in it - you will find space - our ancestors used to manage in 2 ups and 2 downs with about 8 kids!!

bettyboop61

Hi Lisa_75
I have just turned 45 and I have been broody for about the last five years, I would love to have had another baby, I have 3 adult children now, but unfortunatley for me my husband had a vasectomy when my youngest was just 6 mths old, and it is now something I bitterly regret that I asked him to do this, but you learn to live with these feelings, sometimes they are stronger than other times, but for me personally, I feel that if you deperately want another child and you think you would be able to manage it then go for it, or you could end up like me, bitterly regretting what could have been.

Betty

suzysue_2

bettyboop61 wrote:

Hi Lisa_75
I have just turned 45 and I have been broody for about the last five years, I would love to have had another baby, I have 3 adult children now, but unfortunatley for me my husband had a vasectomy when my youngest was just 6 mths old, and it is now something I bitterly regret that I asked him to do this, but you learn to live with these feelings, sometimes they are stronger than other times, but for me personally, I feel that if you deperately want another child and you think you would be able to manage it then go for it, or you could end up like me, bitterly regretting what could have been.

Betty

Same here. I will be 40 next month, I have two sons, 19 & 15. For the past 10 years I have wanted a baby, but it is not to be.
If I had my time again, I would never of let my OH have the op, I bitterly regret not being able to have another baby.
Like bettyboob says, you will end up like us if you don't go for it.

Spendless

How long have you been feeling broody for? I have a boy and a girl and 2 years ago 3 diff women I knew also with a boy and a girl similar or same ages to mine all told me they were pregnant with their planned third. Before this I hadn't even considered that people would plan a third if they already had one of each sex. Stupidly I assummed that a 3rd was either an accident or to see if you got the opposite sex:o . The realisation of this and these women all being pregnant, made me broody. DH said he would go along with whatever my wishes were. It wasn't something I could act upon straight away as we had a dream holiday that we had planned for many years to go on in 9 months time. So I put these feelings to one side, and a few weeks later I found I didn't have them anymore. Now I'm quite happy with what I already have. Perhaps you need to go ahead with what your plans where first (graduate, get a job) and then see how you feel.

Savvy_Sue

lisa_75 wrote:

Thanks for all your replies. Maybe I should borrow my friends toddler for a few hours!

That's a good idea ... colleague had to bring her almost 1 year old to work the other day, and much as I've always wanted a little girl, I went home really appreciative of my stroppy hormonal attitudinal DS3!

lottee

jopsey wrote:

I had my first ... and last at 34, love him to death but don't want anymore !
never felt the broody thing ever ,oh tell a lie can't walk past a yorkie puppy without cooing !!!!

Thank god I'm not the only one! I'm sure (& hope!) it is as 'normal' to feel broody once your babies have 'grown' up, as much as it is as to have never felt broody.

Does that make sense??!!

Love my little one to bits, but have no intention of having another. I hate the response or looks I get from people when I say this - like I am some sort of monster for not giving my son a sibling. I understand the whole stigma thing about an 'only child', but surely you can teach & show them to share, interact & play with other kids without giving birth to a football team!