should i let my ex take the children abroad

Sambucus_Nigra

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Because he's being difficult and secretive. Of course it's natural to wonder why.

Or just like most blokes and a little forgetful and confused. If he was planning on something more scarey I'd expect he'd be 100% watertight on the fake dates. Know what I mean?

Lotus-eater

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Or just like most blokes and a little forgetful and confused. If he was planning on something more scarey I'd expect he'd be 100% watertight on the fake dates. Know what I mean?

If it was something to do with my kids, I'm afraid I'd want to be sure. He sounded like he told his wife the right dates, so he can't be that confused.
I wonder if he's just playing games, for games sake, messing with her head on purpose.

BugglyB

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Or just like most blokes and a little forgetful and confused. If he was planning on something more scarey I'd expect he'd be 100% watertight on the fake dates. Know what I mean?

I fear you're onto a losing battle here. My friends ex goes mental with him if he's taken them for a day trip without her knowledge. She of course is free to do as she wishes as children 'she knows children are safe with her'.

Sambucus_Nigra

Lotus-eater wrote: »

If it was something to do with my kids, I'm afraid I'd want to be sure. He sounded like he told his wife the right dates, so he can't be that confused.
I wonder if he's just playing games, for games sake, messing with her head on purpose.

Probably - he could spirit them away any old week if he really wanted to. Or because the wife booked the holiday and probably put it on the calendar or just simply remembered it.

If the other parent can be trusted the other 50 weeks to look after their kids, I can't see why 2 weeks abroad would be any different.

Sambucus_Nigra

BugglyB wrote: »

I fear you're onto a losing battle here. My friends ex goes mental with him if he's taken them for a day trip without her knowledge. She of course is free to do as she wishes as children 'she knows children are safe with her'.

That's precisely my point.

Lotus-eater

BugglyB wrote: »

I fear you're onto a losing battle here. My friends ex goes mental with him if he's taken them for a day trip without her knowledge. She of course is free to do as she wishes as children 'she knows children are safe with her'.

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

That's precisely my point.

That's nothing to do with this, that's the ex's problem.

This is that the OP as the main carer, is entitled to know where and when her children are going to be. To withhold information, or give inaccurate information, is worrying and wrong.

ambemakasa

as lotus-eater says and thankyou for understanding my post, i have no issues about how he will treat the children whilst they are away,

my concern is over his secrecy and i would feel the same if it was a holiday in this country not just abroad.

it makes no sense and i see no reason as to why he is not providing information about dates and place.

Valli

why do you need to know? You need to know because (presumably) you're going to have to pack (or help them pack) and have their clothes ready, their passports ready and up-to-date, their EHIC cards...

you need to know when they are expected back so you will be there to let them in...

tell him that! In other words you have no actual interest in where/when they are going just that you want time to get your washing/packing done;) - unless he wants to do it all?

The secrecy bit (ie him not telling you) is more to do with his feelings towards YOU than anything else, if my exes behaviour is anything to go by.

My ex used to bring the kids back at random times including much EARLIER than he said he would...then he seemed surprised that I wasn't in...

ambemakasa

i expect this is true, he likes to think he has the upperhand or has one over on me at all times
after 7 years and him living with a new partner it makes no sense to me as to why he still feels the need to be difficult and play games

lazer

Every think of the simpliest explanation - things aren't always complicated

He didn't book the holiday, his wife did and therefore he just isn't sure of the dates and places etc.

When my boyfriend goes on holidays, the only details he usually knows is what day he leaves, and roughly where he's going, the other details such as the name of the hotel, other travel arrangements etc are usually left to me or whoever he is going on holiday with!