should i let my ex take the children abroad

ambemakasa

i did ask when they will be back and he kept giving me different dates, when you have an ex partner that is very uncooperative it is hard to get any sort of information, which is why i went to his partner to get a definate answer. i was very pleasant to her and her to me, she also admitted that she too would want to know this information if her children were to go away and didnt understand why he was giving the wrong dates.
it is very sad but as wendy said `people do change`
i just want to know when and where my children will be without the need for silly games
the issue is not about trust, i know that he would never harm the children and that has never entered my mind.
the issue is about being cooperative and honest when it comes to the children.
i feel that knowing when my children will be away and where is very important as i`m sure most mothers would agree

Mojisola

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Flaming ada. He's their father - he's surely allowed to take them on holiday? Do you report to him every time you take them somewhere, give him all the travel details, hotel bookings etc? You trusted him enough to have 2 kids with him so why the unnecessary going behind his back etc.

Whenever we go away somewhere, other family members know where we're going, how long we're going to be away for and how to contact us.

If my children were going away with the school, scouts or other organisation, I would want the same kind of details.

Why wouldn't you want to know where and how long your children were going on holiday?

*Louise*

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Flaming ada. He's their father - he's surely allowed to take them on holiday? Do you report to him every time you take them somewhere, give him all the travel details, hotel bookings etc? You trusted him enough to have 2 kids with him so why the unnecessary going behind his back etc.

Any decent parent would want to know where their kids are at all times, in case of accidents or emergencies or even just for peace of mind.

Doesn't matter who is taking them away, the details are still important.

The OP asked him a few times, he was getting things wrong so it seems perfectly reasonable to clarify the information from another source.

Sambucus_Nigra

*Louise* wrote: »

Any decent parent would want to know where their kids are at all times, in case of accidents or emergencies or even just for peace of mind.

Doesn't matter who is taking them away, the details are still important.

The OP asked him a few times, he was getting things wrong so it seems perfectly reasonable to clarify the information from another source.

My OH's DD is in Greece at the moment. He didn't know the exact date of the flights there or back, and he doesn't know the hotel she is at. Does that make him not a decent father? He trusts her mother to take care of her.

Mojisola

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

My OH's DD is in Greece at the moment. He didn't know the exact date of the flights there or back, and he doesn't know the hotel she is at. Does that make him not a decent father? He trusts her mother to take care of her.

If he trusts his ex and he is sure that he can contact her or his DD if it's necessary, maybe not.

Personally, I would want to know the dates and the hotel name.

Sambucus_Nigra

Mojisola wrote: »

If he trusts his ex and he is sure that he can contact her or his DD if it's necessary, maybe not.

Personally, I would want to know the dates and the hotel name.

If he trusts her during every other week of the year, why would this fortnight be any different?

Lotus-eater

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

If he trusts her during every other week of the year, why would this fortnight be any different?

Because he's being difficult and secretive. Of course it's natural to wonder why.

RAS

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

My OH's DD is in Greece at the moment. He didn't know the exact date of the flights there or back, and he doesn't know the hotel she is at. Does that make him not a decent father? He trusts her mother to take care of her.

This is not about whether your OH is a decent father but bascially whether contact can be made if necessary.

What happens if OH is in a car smash and you want to contact his daughter quickly?

Or does he have to see his daughter's photo in the papers if something happens, because it was not possible to contact him first?

When we go abroad we let other members of the family know where we are going and when and provide contact details if possible. Just a very basic security measure.

mummyroysof3

just a thought but what if someone asks OP where here children are or when they back etc what she ment to say "dont know cos i just handed them to their dad and he didnt tell me" a parent should really be able to know where their children when they not with them surely not just wave them off and not know

Sambucus_Nigra

RAS wrote: »

This is not about whether your OH is a decent father but bascially whether contact can be made if necessary.

What happens if OH is in a car smash and you want to contact his daughter quickly?

Or does he have to see his daughter's photo in the papers if something happens, because it was not possible to contact him first?

When we go abroad we let other members of the family know where we are going and when and provide contact details if possible. Just a very basic security measure.

I'd deal with it if I had to...if anything happened in Greece we'd call the embassy wouldn't we? They all 3 have their mobiles with them.

The point is being missed here on purpose I would imagine.

mummyroysof3 wrote: »

just a thought but what if someone asks OP where here children are or when they back etc what she ment to say "dont know cos i just handed them to their dad and he didnt tell me" a parent should really be able to know where their children when they not with them surely not just wave them off and not know

'The kids are in Spain for a holiday. Hopefully the weather is good.' would be a reasonable response.