should i let my ex take the children abroad

jenhug

i don't think its unreasonable to ask for proof of booking details.

*Louise*

I would want all the dates, booking details, plus the name / address/ phone number of where they were staying.

Also I would be making sure my eldest had a mobile phone packed in their stuff which they could switch on and use in emergencies.

OP, sounds like he is maybe a bt rubbish with dates, there's no harm in you asking for more information. Mothers do worry, it shows you care x

ambemakasa

he has just rang me effing and blinding that i spoke to his partner, i stayed calm and explained that i needed written confirmation of dates, flights, address, he said he was giving me nothing and was going to tell the children that i was stopping them from going. he carried on ranting and raving but ended up saying he will get me the information and put the phone down.
so i guess i will just have to wait and see, i am not going to back down on this especially now because i cant understand why he is getting so cross about me having the information.

Sambucus_Nigra

Flaming ada. He's their father - he's surely allowed to take them on holiday? Do you report to him every time you take them somewhere, give him all the travel details, hotel bookings etc? You trusted him enough to have 2 kids with him so why the unnecessary going behind his back etc.

Kittendreich

Why not just say that you need the dates so that you can organise yourself - you want to be there to see them away and see them as soon as they are home, but would like to plan some time away yourself to take advantage of being child-free... That way no ulterior motives/lack of trust etc, but just basic needing to know where they are so that you can plan (also need to know to pack the right type and amoutn of clothes for them?)

denton6

Dont back down on this one it is a reasonable enough question to ask where your children are going. I had a similar thing other week though i did no the dates and that he was taking the boys somewhere in the uk.Up until last minute he said he wouldnt give me the information, i then emailed and said if i didnt have the info them i was afraid they wouldnt be going. he emailed back straight away blackmail didnt work and the name and address of the park they were going to.They came back last sunday as planned and they had a lovely time, dont think i could have really stopped them going, but at the same time i have known their dad and had been with him nearly 25 years, he is a good dad and i knew they were safe, my main concern was if there was a accident on the roads somewhere whilst they were away,how would i know that they werent involved in it. I got some good advice on here, have something planned for you to do whilst they are away and also mobile phone is good if the oldest can take one with them. Good luck hope you get your answers and then you can relax abit about the whole thing x

ambemakasa

i have not taken the children abroad but yes i have told him where we are going if away in this country, i dont see asking his partner for the dates as he wouldnt provide them as going behind his back, the issue is not about him taking them away, it is the fact that the children and myself need to know when and where they are going and when they will be back so we can be organised, i dont feel that is unreasonable at all.

Sambucus_Nigra

ambemakasa wrote: »

i have not taken the children abroad but yes i have told him where we are going if away in this country, i dont see asking his partner for the dates as he wouldnt provide them as going behind his back, the issue is not about him taking them away, it is the fact that the children and myself need to know when and where they are going and when they will be back so we can be organised, i dont feel that is unreasonable at all.

So ask 'when will they be back?'

I am continuously amazed with people who trust other people enough to have children with but then don't trust them when it comes to the parenting.

If you don't trust your partner - here's a thought - don't have kids with them. Simples.

denton6

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

So ask 'when will they be back?'

I am continuously amazed with people who trust other people enough to have children with but then don't trust them when it comes to the parenting.

If you don't trust your partner - here's a thought - don't have kids with them. Simples.

People unfortunately change, i have four boys with my now ex and he is not the same person now that i knew for all those years. if i met him now i wouldnt consider having children with him also trust needs to be earned and hard to gain back once it is lost. I dont trust him now. we all change i suppose as we get older. you just dont no what is round the corner.

Sambucus_Nigra

denton6 wrote: »

People unfortunately change, i have four boys with my now ex and he is not the same person now that i knew for all those years. if i met him now i wouldnt consider having children with him also trust needs to be earned and hard to gain back once it is lost. I dont trust him now. we all change i suppose as we get older. you just dont no what is round the corner.

So I presume you have stopped him having access at all then? The OP is different - she trusts him to have his access in this country but yet for some reason, when they are abroad she doesn't.