HC1 form...will my BF's income effect my claim?

Person_one

Its one thing to protect yourself, its quite another to expect your partner to still contribute 50% to all expenses when they aren't working, and then to think that the state should pick up the tab when they can't!

You don't need a joint account for one partner to pick up more of the bills for a bit. Sorry, but I don't think its a true partnership when one is struggling to pay for dental work but doesn't think the other should even have to think about helping to pay. If you aren't ready for that then you can stay living apart a bit longer. Moving in brings with it some responsibilities.

Anubis_2

EDIT: From the perspective of anyone who has lived together, married etc, then all I can say is if people live separately in such cases, for the sake of money, then it is not a true relationship. I would much sooner have my husband with me than all the money in the world.

Person_one

Anubis wrote: »

All I can say is if people live separately, for the sake of money, then it is not a true relationship. I would much sooner have my husband with me than all the money in the world.

Well, relationships have stages, you don't meet one day and instantly decide that its true love and you're in it together forever!

There's nothing wrong with saying "Right now, I'm not ready for the commitment of living together because that means being financially dependent on each other if adverse circumstances crop up." You do it when you're ready to accept every aspect of it.

Anubis_2

Person_one wrote: »

Well, relationships have stages, you don't meet one day and instantly decide that its true love and you're in it together forever!

There's nothing wrong with saying "Right now, I'm not ready for the commitment of living together because that means being financially dependent on each other if adverse circumstances crop up." You do it when you're ready to accept every aspect of it.

Yes, and of course you are right I am not talking about new relationships - I was talking about the perspective of being married or in a long term relationship, having lived together and had children perhaps and then decide to separate to claim more benefits.

Sixer

There's nothing wrong with any relationship, or any financial arrangement within any relationship, so long as both parties are happy with it. People can live as they please and there's no right or wrong in it.

However, the simple fact is that the unit of measurement for benefits is a household. Not an individual. Not a couple. A household. So if you want/need to claim them, you have to accept that the financial basis of your relationship might need to change while you do. This doesn't mean the way you had things organised was right or wrong. It just means that to get the money, you have to (temporarily) alter the financial basis on which you work.

When you don't need benefits any more, you can go back to whatever is your preferred way of doing things.

FBaby

Marisco wrote: »

If a couple live together (sharing bedroom etc) why on earth would they go on separate holidays, buy separate food and have totally separate finances?? That's not being a couple, that's just flat sharing, with a bit of sex thrown in!!

My partner has gone on a skiing holiday for the past 10 years and I have no issues with him continuing to do so. Last year, I went to visit my parents abroad, he didn't come as needed to stay for work being done on the house. This year, we went away together last month and will be going away together again in two weeks... who knows next year!

Food: we have very different tastes and we have found it easier to shop separately. We do sometimes eat together?

Finances: We are both independent and agree that we are free to do what we want with the disposable income we have?

Are we flat sharing? No, we are totally committed to eachother, we do do plenty of things together, just not everything. I would give up anything for him and know he would too, we just don't need to share everything to feel we are a couple.

Person_one

FBaby wrote: »

My partner has gone on a skiing holiday for the past 10 years and I have no issues with him continuing to do so. Last year, I went to visit my parents abroad, he didn't come as needed to stay for work being done on the house. This year, we went away together last month and will be going away together again in two weeks... who knows next year!

Food: we have very different tastes and we have found it easier to shop separately. We do sometimes eat together?

Finances: We are both independent and agree that we are free to do what we want with the disposable income we have?

Are we flat sharing? No, we are totally committed to eachother, we do do plenty of things together, just not everything. I would give up anything for him and know he would too, we just don't need to share everything to feel we are a couple.

If he went ski-ing and you went nowhere because you couldn't afford it, THAT would be a problem. Choosing to spend time apart isn't the same as living different lifestyles because of a difference in income.

FBaby

I didn't start posting here to talk about my situation, I was only trying to justify how some people can live as a couple and still be quite independent and therefore not forceably realising that from the perspective of benefits, they would be expected to support eachother financially as if they were married.

sixer explained it much better than me!!!

nannytone_2

a 10 year long skiing holiday?
blimey lol

Anubis_2

Sixer wrote: »

There's nothing wrong with any relationship, or any financial arrangement within any relationship, so long as both parties are happy with it. People can live as they please and there's no right or wrong

Of course - unless the separate living is done to maximise benefits