Silly Dating Q

ItchyFeet

Hi, i'd really like some help with a really silly dating question that i'm too embarrassed to ask any of my friends or family because it feels so childish!

A few weeks ago a colleague of mine went out for a drink with a sales rep that visits our company occasionally. The rep told my colleague that he really likes me and did i have a boyfriend. My colleague told me all this but then couldn't remember if the rep had said to tell me or not to tell me. I had previously assumed the rep was married so hadn't paid much attention to him.

Since then he has called the company a few times (more than usual) but so far hasn't asked me out or anything. He did raise the conversation over the phone that he had with my colleague in a round about way but it caught me on the hop and i pretended i didn't know anything about it!

I would like to go out with him and i now have his number but i'm really shy and just don't know what to say if i phoned him. I think he probably has the impression by now that i'm not interested so i think the next move is up to me. However, i just have this nagging doubt that he may have a partner and it was never his intention to ask me out. I don't think i can really start the conversation with "hi it's itchyfeet, are you married?"

So, any ideas on what i can say would be much appreciated!
TIA

Itsgottabedone

Could your colleague talk to him again and make it clear that you are interested but had thought he was attached? Wishing you well!

SandC

Get the colleague to ask the Rep in a jocular fashion 'oh by the way, was I supposed to mention to blah blah that you like her and wanted to know if she had a boyfriend, cos I totally forgot?'.

That way he may expand on it or put it to rest, but will not think that you have been disinterested when he's phoned since -as you knew nothing about it (so far as he is aware).

Listen, as your colleague decided it was appropriate to bring it up at the time then he/she is involved, so use him/her! Just a teeny bit so you know where you stand! Childish go betweening it may be but when it comes to dating, believe me you never grow up!

Plans_all_plans

If I were you I'd make it known to your colleague you'd say yes if he asked you out and ask them to tell him.

Then wait for him to ask you out. if he does, great; if he doesn't, he's not that into you.

I certainly wouldn't run around after a bloke who didn't have the balls to ask me out outright!

spadoosh

I'd go with ring him! Say "ive heard from my colleague you were thinking about asking me out?"

He'll love it, well i would, especially if i thought the girl didnt know i liked her!

marywooyeah

sounds like he does want to ask you out but is scared of being knocked back, I'd get your colleage (sp?) to mention that you seemed interested but weren't sure if he did want to go out as he has directly asked, this might prompt him to actually ask!
good luck!

Any

Sorry, why do you think it is your turn to act? He asked your friend if you are married, I hope you are not thinking he was asking her so she tells you and you ask him out?

Because if that is the case then just run. He is imature and not ready. Where are we, the school playgrounds?

If an adult person wants to invite another person for a drink, they ask them. As simple as that. No taking friends out and hope you somehow gather the info that he likes you.

ItchyFeet

Thanks for all the replies! I would ideally like to keep the colleague out of it though if possible. He's far too nosy and involved in other people's affairs for my liking! So i think i'm just going to have to ring him myself. I can't quite get the nerve up yet though which is why i thought having an idea of what to say would help. Quite like Spadoosh's idea.

Any

Just to add - if you want to hurry it up a bit and think that he doesn't think you like him (OMG, I cannot believe as an adult I am actually hearing this) then be really nice and flirty with him next time he phones/comes.
Big smile, batting (sp?) eye lashes and all that.

martinthebandit

I think that sometimes some people over complicate things, if you fancy him ring him up and ask him if he would like to go out for a drink sometime when he is next in the area.

Thats it, all you need to do.

Any

ItchyFeet wrote: »

Thanks for all the replies! I would ideally like to keep the colleague out of it though if possible. He's far too nosy and involved in other people's affairs for my liking! So i think i'm just going to have to ring him myself. I can't quite get the nerve up yet though which is why i thought having an idea of what to say would help. Quite like Spadoosh's idea.

If you want to leave the colleague completely out of it, then just ring and ask him out outright. No frills. Just say "hiya, I hope you don't consider this daring, girl making the first move and all that but I was wondering if you would be interested in a drink?"
And see what he says.

If he is attached, just say "oh I didn't know. The best ones are always taken hey:-)) (laugh). Oh well, never mind. "