nightmare!

sadgirl1

Why is that some people have a way of making you think that everything is your fault somehow? I've been wronged yet I was the one saying sorry last night, I'm dreading seeing his mum now. In fact I'm dreading seeing my boyfriend later, I actually feel a bit sick.

sadgirl1

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

'What holiday - if you think I'm going on holiday with you when you won't invite me to a so-called family gathering then jog on'.

That's what I would have said myself if I was reading this from the outside, but it's more difficult when feelings are involved. I can't decide whether I should just end it and save myself any future pain.
As you can probably gather this is not just about last night, it's a build up of events. I'm fed up!

Pollycat

sadgirl1 wrote: »

Apparently they thought I would think it too far to drive just to spend a few hours in the pub, the same excuse given as to why I wasn't invited to a family members funeral.

I think it's incredibly arrogant for people to make a decision about not inviting you because 'it's too far to travel'.

The sensible (and decent) thing would be to invite you but maybe add a rider (as Skippycat suggested) that they'll understand if you feel unable to come (for whatever reason).

Unfortunately, I can't really see things improving with his Mum and if he's not going to take your side and stick up for you after 4 years 'together', I'd be questioning whether the relationship was worth it.

And, I'd be bloody furious about his text regarding the holiday.
If he's got any issues, why not save them for for a face-to-face discussion?
That sounds to me like he's trying to put you on the back foot and in the wrong.

mrs_sparrow

My friend was in the same situation as you inregards to her son, her bf of 4 years was mean to her son so she said enough, if he could not accept him after 4 years then she wanted nothing more to do with him and she is much happier iwthout him. Your children HAVE to come first. No if, buts or maybe's, it is down for him to become part of your lives. I know it'll be a nice break for you but I'd be tempted to tell him to shove his holiday. And if you have booked and paid for it go on your own and tell him he is uninvited. I've been on holiday on my own, it is not as scary as it seems. Or take a friend if she is in the same situation as you.

Actually, if you did book and pay for it tell him that you have decided it is too far for him to travel and he is not welcome. If you can (maybe a UK chain) change the place you are going so he cannot come and find you.

Tell him (by text see how he likes it) that you have had enough. I think there is nothing to talk about to be honest, just that he is a selfish pr!ck!

I too would be furious over the meal incident. You've not been together 4 months but 4 bloody years. I'd be kicking his !!!! not being told that I had ruined the meal.

Sometimes things happen and you have to realise that you are so much better off without someone. This is YOUR moment. You can do SO much better than this man. He is not even that (and sorry but a tiny bit of me when reading your OP did wonder if he had actually taken someone else from nearer home as it was all couples but him).

Dave101t

4 years together and they play silly b uggers like that? He should be dumped and not worth a tear.

Lotus-eater

I think your kids may be his problem, maybe his Mums problem as well, but I think it's him that really is at fault here.
If it is the truth that he can't stand up to his Mum, do you want him?
Do you want him if he doesn't like your (any) kids?

It doesn't sound like a relationship that has any future tbh.

Emmzi

when you date someone who has kids they come as a package with the kids. My b'fs child is exhausting but also lovely! And I'll say "wow I'm tired!" after a day out etc but I'd never refuse to go. Sometimes I'll have a girl's weekend away though :-)

If he can't see you are a package, it's time to dump. He sounds a bit of a git anyway to be frank. You sure you can't do better? I bet you can.

DVardysShadow

sadgirl1 wrote: »

If the conversation means he doesn't want to be with me then I have my answer, I'm dreading it already!

You think it needs a conversation resulting an outcome? I think you know it all too well, the relationship has nowhere to go. This needs an outcome resulting in a conversation.

Errata

sadgirl1 wrote: »

Everyone is just confirming what I have thought myself, about him not wanting to commit to me and that I'm one of those "she's ok until something better comes along" type of women.
We've got a holiday coming up while my boys are on holiday with my family, when it's just us things are great. I'm scared to bring anything up, but I think I may have to have a chat about how I'm feeling.
If the conversation means he doesn't want to be with me then I have my answer, I'm dreading it already!
Thank you everyone for your comments.

The bit I've bolded should tell you everything you need to know about the relationship, him and yourself. I think you're worth more than what's currently on offer.

TeamLowe

sadgirl1 wrote: »

In fact I'm dreading seeing my boyfriend later, I actually feel a bit sick.

further confirmation of how happy you are in this relationship....

four years is a long time to be with someone and you most probably love him very much. but love just isn't enough sometimes x x