Mother of student needs help

student100

Savvy_Sue wrote:

Plus he's very fortunate in that he doesn't worry or feel pressured by this: he'll either do well or he won't. He'll deal with it, whichever it is. At times like that, I'm glad he's not like me: I'd go to pieces under the pressure!

And if it all goes pear-shaped? It isn't the end of the world. There's clearing. There's resits. There's getting a job and earning some real money. I won't even charge him much rent.

Hehe. Your son sounds very familiar. I got four offers for Computer Science, all with the same grades (AAB!), and one more with something comparatively very low (BBC or BCC I think) for a course I wasn't very keen on. I was reasonably confident that I could make the high grades (it helped that I'd done nearly three-quarters of my modules by January so I had a pretty good idea of how well I was doing by the time I had to make the decision). So I decided to drop the lower offer, and my first and second choice universities had exactly the same offer grades! I figured that if I didn't make the grades I then had two chances of blagging a place on lower offers, and failing that I would just take an unplanned gap year...

My brother is now in almost the same position as me (except he has an offer from Cambridge which is AAA!) so he's a bit unsure as to what to choose. Really it's just a case of being realistic, think what are you capable of getting if you do well, and what would you get if you did a bit worse than you expected.

If the worst did happen and you did fail to get a place after results come through, there is always the gap year option, and it means that next year when you apply you will have unconditional offers which means much more certainty.

crana999

My firm offer was AAAB and my insurance was ABB.

Savvy_Sue

student100 wrote:

I figured that if I didn't make the grades I then had two chances of blagging a place on lower offers, and failing that I would just take an unplanned gap year...

Which is what I did :eek: 30+ :eek: years ago! Failed to meet grades, had had glandular fever and was still pretty tired, first choice phoned to see if would like to defer so I said "Yes as long as I don't have to resit!" To which they agreed. Second choice then phoned (hadn't met that offer either) and said I could go same year, but I decided against it. Spent most of the year working at the local polytechnic and went off to uni fresh and happy, with money in my pocket!

To all my fellow mums, along with teaching them how to use a washing machine and how to open a tin of baked beans, we need to teach our kids that you don't always get what you want in life (in this or any other context). Even if they think it's the end of the world if they don't get the grades, we at least should know better. That's life, life is tough, deal with it! There are always other options, and sitting on your backside regretting that you didn't work as hard as you should have done or were ill for that vital exam and the board won't give you any leeway for it or your mum was mean and made you help around the house when you should have been studying won't give you access to them.

gingercordial

In terms of the debate about grades lower than a 2.1, as others have said it depends on why you're going to university.

If it's for love of the subject or life experience, then it doesn't matter as long as you do your best.

If it's in order to increase your earning power on graduation or carry on in academia then you really need at least a 2.1, probably a 1st for a PhD studentship.

The Big 4 firm I work for only takes a 2.1 or higher for it's graduate programme, and I believe this is the case throughout the financial and law sectors. Subject doesn't matter, it's just proof that you can work hard for 3 years hence having the grades to show for it is very important. It's also vital to work equally hard during the first year - when it comes to applications we do look at the grades from all courses and all years, and if students are applying for something like an undergraduate internship the first year's results are all we have to go on.

I read some research not long ago that if you get a 2.2 or a 3rd, on average your lifetime earnings will be lower than someone who never went to uni and has 3 extra years of work experience on their CV instead. Sorry, can't remember where this was published!

Mattjimf

On the Job front, find out if the place your son is working has a branch in the city he is studying at. If they do find out if he can transfer to that branch, saves him looking for a job when he gets there, and means he can have some extra money coming in.
I would say having a job when studying away from home outside of the Uni is a good idea, as it means you get to meet local people that are not at uni and get a more varied social life outside of the usual student haunts.

lyniced

Matt - thats a good idea. He works at Waitrose, so I'm sure he can 're-locate'. I'll put it to him.