Mother of student needs help

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  • Picnic_2
    Picnic_2 Posts: 13 Forumite
    Replying to the original post by "lyniced"

    What happens next is you get a load of bumf through your door from the LEA / student loans company, reminding you you need to apply for a loan!

    It is probably best to be in halls for the first year. The university should send out information about applying for accommodation in halls to all new students. Some unis do this earlier than others - my uni didn't send me anything until after Results Day, when they knew I had got the grades I needed and would definitely be coming. Don't be worried if you don't hear anything for a bit. Look at the uni's websites for extra information.

    A conditional offer from a university is usually just that - your son will have to get the grades in his A-levels mentioned in the offer to be accepted onto his course. (but sometimes if the grades are only just missed, the university may accept you anyway.) My school allowed you to phone the university from the headmaster's office if you hadn't quite got the grades you needed, to see if you had still been accepted. Presumably your son's will do something similar.
  • lyniced
    lyniced Posts: 1,880 Forumite
    zpcard,

    Well my oldest son seems to be doing ok - he got Cs in his AS exams and has already got a B in his English exam taken earlier. He needs 3 Bs for his first choice and 3 Cs for his second. The only thing is, I hardly ever see any work, coursework, so I always question him (which he says is nagging) but he says he does most of it at school in the library. I know he gets about 6 or so hours a week as 'frees' so he is probably using them wisely - I should be more trusting.

    On the subject of first and 2:1 v other degrees - when my husband went to uni (1982) he was always told by the uni that he was in the top 5% of the country. Nowadays, so many more people go to uni (its almost 50% - according our school head) that you do need to get a 2:1 or above to get on, unless its a 2:2 from Oxbridge, I guess. However, I think that anyone (I've said it before) who gets a degree of any kind should be applauded. Also, it should be remembered that some jobs pay better than others, so its not an exact science.
    Me transmitte sursum, caledoni
  • deedums
    deedums Posts: 593 Forumite
    zcaprd7 wrote:
    I don't want to worry the mums be , but there is a fairly big leap from GCSEs to A-levels.

    You certainly can't get away with doing no revision and if there is no evidence of work at home there won't be much happening at school/college...


    To be honest, establishing an understanding (dare I say it, enjoyment) of studying, on your own, is essential for going to Uni - it is, afer all, the major reason why you are there!


    If they can't hack a few A-levels you will struggle in years 2 and 3 at Uni (they'll do enough to scrape through year 1, the Unis want the money) and then you risk wasting three years of your life.

    I quite agree, this is what has been worrying me and why I've tried not to nag, I feel if he can't be disciplined enough to work now without me checking on him then he'll never do it when he goes away. We did suggest he look at all the alternatives to uni but he is adamant that that's what he wants to do and i don't want him to feel we don't have faith in him!

    I was a little flippant in my last post re his resitting. It was actually 1 part of one AS; he got a B, C and a U in the 3 papers he sat which meant his overall grade was a D. He wasn't thrilled & neither was his teacher who had predicted a B. I had hoped this would be the wake up call he needed but I don't think it has been. He got 2 Cs in his other AS, again Bs predicted. If anything I would say he has done less work this year than last.
  • deedums
    deedums Posts: 593 Forumite
    lyniced wrote:
    Deedums

    Snap! I have one son doing A2s and one doing GCSEs, and they sound so similar its scary!

    Oldest son keeps using the phrase 'I know what I'm doing, don't worry' so much that I think I'll get it engraved on a plaque. Youngest son is supposed to be doing revision/coursework/homework, but everytime I look in his room he's on messenger or the XBOX!

    I'm sure my hair will start to turn grey soon, or fall out with all the stress! However I'm glad there are other people in the same boat.

    Just on a positive note - in 10 years time, we'll sit back and laugh about all this (well, hopefully!)

    I hope so too:D

    And on that positive note, my son is (generally!) loving and good-natured as I'm sure yours is. We have had a few moments recently where he's been reminding us that he's 'an adult now' but they are few and far between which considering he's 171/2 isn't bad. We've been very lucky not to have had a Kevin living with us!

    I'll be thinking of you all when I have a glass of wine tonight!
  • lyniced
    lyniced Posts: 1,880 Forumite
    deedums

    My son is also 17 1/2 - he's one of the youngest, with a birthday in August, and yes, he is a loving and pleasant boy (young man, I should say!) so I shouldn't complain. Everyone comments on how nice he is, which is a real compliment. My other son is also a kind and loving boy and also gets postive comments espcially from his teachers. The only negative thing they say is 'he needs to speed up' or 'he isn't very motivated'. All our children (we have a 12 yr old daughter too) are happy, well-balanced and are very loved and I think thats SO important.
    Me transmitte sursum, caledoni
  • Savvy_Sue
    Savvy_Sue Posts: 46,014 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary
    deedums wrote:
    I'll be thinking of you all when I have a glass of wine tonight!
    I've got a 12 year old Kevin living with me, my youngest. :eek:

    But I think my eldest did Kevin at 7, and while the middle one still grunts a lot and just sighs when I enquire about his GCSE coursework ("Lots of other people haven't done it yet!") he is more civilised than he used to be.

    So I remind myself that they will all grow out of it.

    Oh, and the eldest does seem to get on with his homework at school, his teachers aren't complaining, and he's got to get AAB for his first choice and ABB for his second! Another :eek:

    Shall we mums start a separate thread listing the only acceptable reasons for NOT coming home for Christmas? :D
    Signature removed for peace of mind
  • zcaprd7
    zcaprd7 Posts: 1,079 Forumite
    Savvy_Sue wrote:

    Oh, and the eldest does seem to get on with his homework at school, his teachers aren't complaining, and he's got to get AAB for his first choice and ABB for his second! Another :eek:

    :D


    Blimey, that's either very bold or dangerous!
  • crana999
    crana999 Posts: 573 Forumite
    zcaprd7 wrote:
    Blimey, that's either very bold or dangerous!

    lol, well, not really...
  • Savvy_Sue
    Savvy_Sue Posts: 46,014 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary
    zcaprd7 wrote:
    Blimey, that's either very bold or dangerous!
    Yup, I know. Especially as he got one offer for points rather than grades which was so low he's almost met it already on his AS grades! And some of his other offers would have made a good 'safety net' as well.

    But after visiting five of the places he'd applied to he had a strong preference for these two, a fairly strong antipathy for another two, and mixed feelings about our 'local' - he likes the course, but doesn't want to stay at home. :rotfl:And the offer he got from his sixth choice was the ludicrously low one, which, rightly or wrongly, made him think they were desperate for ANYONE and therefore weren't a particularly good course. It was a bit of a 'blank line left what shall I put on it?' application anyway, different kind of course.

    I wondered about trying to talk him into accepting a lower 'insurance' offer, but a) what's the point of trying to talk a teenager into anything? :rotfl:and b) he'd only say "You worry too much." Barring disasters, he should get the ABB, if not the AAB, he's taking four and two of them are Maths for which he's inherited his father's and my father's talents. Plus he's very fortunate in that he doesn't worry or feel pressured by this: he'll either do well or he won't. He'll deal with it, whichever it is. At times like that, I'm glad he's not like me: I'd go to pieces under the pressure!

    And if it all goes pear-shaped? It isn't the end of the world. There's clearing. There's resits. There's getting a job and earning some real money. I won't even charge him much rent. ;)
    Signature removed for peace of mind
  • zcaprd7
    zcaprd7 Posts: 1,079 Forumite
    Interesting article in today's Telegraph (front page) about Uni applications:

    Need to register at https://www.telegraph.co.uk to read it.
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