Mother of student needs help

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  • zcaprd7
    zcaprd7 Posts: 1,079 Forumite
    Oops - that 2:1 comment started off a bit of a debate!


    I got a 2:1 Msci, from UCL, but it was hard work and I'd rather swap a few grand debt for it over a 2:2. I concentrated on working during the summers and had a year out in industry before Uni.


    Look at the jobs pages these days and most insist on 22/24 UCAS points and a 2:1 - annoyingly they don't seem to care what in, so do something easy (not physics/maths!).

    Maybe a desmond isn't worthless, but if you look at law for example, its pretty difficult to get a training contract after Uni without one...
  • Bennifred
    Bennifred Posts: 3,986 Forumite
    I can't be the only mother out here with a big bruise on her forehead (from banging my head against the proverbial brick wall.....)! My eldest seems to think that now he's had a couple of offers he doesn't actually need to pass the exams! O.K. I'm sure he doesn't realy think that, he just acts like it. His teachers also have black-and-blue foreheads and tufts of hair missing :rolleyes: - someone please tell me this is normal!! I do try very hard not to nag ( :rotfl: from son!) but I reckon I may have a nervous breakdown before this is over! and then there are two more...
    [
  • student100
    student100 Posts: 1,059 Forumite
    Combo Breaker First Post
    amghiggs wrote:
    I can't be the only mother out here with a big bruise on her forehead (from banging my head against the proverbial brick wall.....)! My eldest seems to think that now he's had a couple of offers he doesn't actually need to pass the exams! O.K. I'm sure he doesn't realy think that, he just acts like it. His teachers also have black-and-blue foreheads and tufts of hair missing :rolleyes: - someone please tell me this is normal!! I do try very hard not to nag ( :rotfl: from son!) but I reckon I may have a nervous breakdown before this is over! and then there are two more...
    Calm down, dear!

    I'm sure they'll sort themselves out in the end, although probably not until you've gone around the bend up the wall or something.

    I think there's something inbuilt into human nature that makes mothers worry far too much, and teenagers worry far too little. It's natural, and there's nothing you can do about it... :p
    student100 hasn't been a student since 2007...
  • crana999
    crana999 Posts: 573 Forumite
    student100 wrote:
    Also Oxbridge students only have 8 week terms - giving more time for vactation jobs.

    You aren't really meant to have proper jkobs in Xmas/Easter although obviously a lot of people do. You really have to work just as hard over the vacations as you do in term! - although not the summer one.
  • Savvy_Sue
    Savvy_Sue Posts: 46,007 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary
    amghiggs wrote:
    I can't be the only mother out here with a big bruise on her forehead (from banging my head against the proverbial brick wall.....)! My eldest seems to think that now he's had a couple of offers he doesn't actually need to pass the exams! O.K. I'm sure he doesn't realy think that, he just acts like it. His teachers also have black-and-blue foreheads and tufts of hair missing :rolleyes: - someone please tell me this is normal!! I do try very hard not to nag ( :rotfl: from son!) but I reckon I may have a nervous breakdown before this is over! and then there are two more...
    :rotfl:from me too. At the very idea of a mother NOT worrying about teenage offspring ...

    You are both behaving entirely normally. If I appear more relaxed than you, it's because I have other, more pressing things on my mind. Or I've given up shouting - not nagging, clearly, because ANY enquiry is nagging!

    And remember, if he doesn't get the grades for his first choice, there's always a) his second choice, b) clearing, c) resits, d) a valuable lesson learned, maybe.

    BTW, if my eldest does a 3 year course, I'll have GCSEs, A2s and finals all happening the same year. If THAT's not nervous breakdown fodder, I'm not sure what is ...
    Signature removed for peace of mind
  • Bennifred
    Bennifred Posts: 3,986 Forumite
    Thanks student100 and Savvy_Sue, I have stopped hyperventilating now (probably only temporarily, but hey, it's a break!). Having re-read my earlier post, I realise I do sound slightly hysterical - sorry about that! :o Thanks for the calming words.
    [
  • Savvy_Sue
    Savvy_Sue Posts: 46,007 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary
    amghiggs wrote:
    Thanks student100 and Savvy_Sue, I have stopped hyperventilating now (probably only temporarily, but hey, it's a break!). Having re-read my earlier post, I realise I do sound slightly hysterical - sorry about that! :o Thanks for the calming words.
    You're welcome. We shall have to start MOSA in the autumn (Mothers of Students Anonymous) ...

    BTW, he must have done something right to get into the 6th form and to get offers from various universities. And therefore so must you (done something right, I mean). You survived his GCSEs. So did he, and presumably with reasonable grades. And so on. We need to remind ourselves of this sometimes! :D
    Signature removed for peace of mind
  • deedums
    deedums Posts: 593 Forumite
    It's such a relief reading all your posts, especially amghiggs' which made me laugh out loud! I have 2 sons - 1 doing A2s & 1 doing GCSEs.

    My older son chose to resit 1 of his !!!!!! to get a better grade (polite way of saying 'a pass') & to resubmit most of his coursework to get better grades (polite way of saying 'actually do some work'). There is no evidence at home of work, revision or coursework so I can only hope he's doing something in school!! He too feels that because he's had 5 offers from different universities he's home & dry! The phrase 'don't worry, I know what I'm doing' is well used. If only they did A-levels in PS2 use or Messenger etc! He sat some of his exams in January (without any revision) and after one particularly bad one, told me not to worry he would resit in June :eek: . I have remained relatively calm since he took his GCSEs, forcing myself to adopt the attitude that he had to accept responsibility for his future & that if he really wanted to go to uni he would do some work!

    My younger son has always left things till the last minute & this has worked in the past but I think he may be underestimating the amount of work needed for GCSEs. Some of his teachers have the same bruised foreheads mentioned previously, one of them actually banged his head on the wall uttering the words 'Do you have any idea how I feel....' when my son told him just hours before the last parents' evening how much he disliked those evenings LOL

    I'm going to finish now before I start on deadlines.... UCAS forms..... appointments for open days... :) Where is that darkened room?!!!!!!!!!
  • lyniced
    lyniced Posts: 1,880 Forumite
    Deedums

    Snap! I have one son doing A2s and one doing GCSEs, and they sound so similar its scary!

    Oldest son keeps using the phrase 'I know what I'm doing, don't worry' so much that I think I'll get it engraved on a plaque. Youngest son is supposed to be doing revision/coursework/homework, but everytime I look in his room he's on messenger or the XBOX!

    I'm sure my hair will start to turn grey soon, or fall out with all the stress! However I'm glad there are other people in the same boat.

    Just on a positive note - in 10 years time, we'll sit back and laugh about all this (well, hopefully!)
    Me transmitte sursum, caledoni
  • zcaprd7
    zcaprd7 Posts: 1,079 Forumite
    I don't want to worry the mums be , but there is a fairly big leap from GCSEs to A-levels.

    You certainly can't get away with doing no revision and if there is no evidence of work at home there won't be much happening at school/college...


    To be honest, establishing an understanding (dare I say it, enjoyment) of studying, on your own, is essential for going to Uni - it is, afer all, the major reason why you are there!


    If they can't hack a few A-levels you will struggle in years 2 and 3 at Uni (they'll do enough to scrape through year 1, the Unis want the money) and then you risk wasting three years of your life.


    My 2:1 comment wasn't meant to cause offence but many of my friends who have lower degrees, sometimes wish they hadn't bothered and just started work straight out of school - claiming they would have got further with five years working their way up - without the debt.
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