The Matrix - Re-Evolution!!

SunFlower

Greenbee, you sound really .

Please, please, PLEASE don't push yourself too hard. I know it's frustrating as hell, but if you set yourself back you will be even more cross, and will beat yourself up.

*Hugs* *hugs* *hugs* and more *hugs*

greenbee

Just fed up with being ill and useless. I usually manage fine on my own, which given how little OH is around (by the time kids/parents/ex/work/landlady have made their demands there isn't much time left for himself or me at the moment) is a good thing. I'm also unimpressed by the friend's who haven't bothered to get back to me about tomorrow. I haven't seen any of them since I've been ill, so I think I need to re-evaluate.

Bath was too much effort, so I'm in bed already. Hopefully I'll wind down a bit reading and get a decent night's sleep.

groatie_queen

Hugs Greenbee...

Bitsy_Beans

Hugs for you greenbee. It is times like these that you realise whom your reliable friends are

You are not useless though, just incapacitated......that's something else entirely xxx

Firewalker

Greenbee, thinking of you. Tomorrow will be a success. People can do this sometimes; your circumstances change and they withdraw - not because they love you less but because they don't know what to do and how to adjust. If I were you I'll be thinking about whether I love my friends rather then what they think about me, or whether they are keeping in touch.

As to being ill, this is going to pass. I am fed up with feeling poorly, not being able to run, starting to question and doubt too much. But I know it shall pass; I also have the absolute support of OH - for him I suppose I come second after the boys.

It will pass, you will get better; now swim in the waters of life, don't fight. Use the time to reflect and re-examine your relationships and your life more generally. One thing I am convinced about is that there inevitably comes time when we have to make choices and commit to them. We need focus...

Firewalker

Memory_Girl

Just back from giving the dog his morning blast - usually its quite a nice spot in the day, me throwing balls, the kids on the swings playing together.

But today I got cornered by someone who I thought was a friend when the bank crunched me a couple of years ago. They disappeared pretty darn quickly when they realised I was no longer running a business and reliant on benefits.

They then spent an hour spilling all over me about how bad "their" life is. How the whole world is against them, how everyone is conspiring to destroy them, how its the Governments fault, local councils fault, Bosses fault, partners fault, kids fault. How they are "trapped" and how the "World Owes them" - just for being THEM apparently.

The dog decided he had had enough running and came back to flop at my feet ................... and I looked over at my boys (something really sweet about and 11 year old and three year old playing together) - and I snapped!!!

I let fire with two barrels - told them I didn't have the time, energy or inclination to listen to them any more. I said I had rebuilt our lives (only you and I know how I have nearly paid back 10K in 2 years to the bank despite being on benefits for a year of that time).

I had done that by sucking it up, by stopping moaning and doing "Whatever it takes" to take care of me and mine. No-one owes me anything but I was prepared to work hard to keep my family together. That this few years have taught me some hard lessons -and some really valuable ones ...................... like what true friends look like.

Sorry I can't help you - not motivated enough to do so as you are firmly in my category of "not friend" as demonstrated by your actions over the last two years.

Good luck - but you are not my problem.

And I took the boys and came home to breakfast (cinnamon rolls, home made naturally).

It has taken two cups of coffee to stop shaking, and OMG!!! the issue is I DON'T feel guilty and kind of feel like I should. I really let them have it with two barrels - but if you will forgive me whilst I point out this. They really haven't reached their LBM, AHA moment, BFO, whatever you want to call it - they haven' woken up and smelled the roses.

The world HAS changed - endless moaning will not change that. If what you are doing now is not working - do something different please, but don't ruin my Sunday with my boys by dragging me into your control drama.

.................. and breathe MG

Sorry not the worlds most inspirational post - but this morning has made me realise quite a lot about myself (not only that I have very little patience with some people)

MG

Bitsy_Beans

<genuflects to MG> no guilt need at all MG. Personally people like that need to learn consequences of their actions. If no one points it out (as we Brtis dont do confrontation enough) then how will they learn from their mistakes in friendship behaviour (never mind the "world owes me" attitude).

Firewalker

Proud of you for doing that - you don't need anyone who drains your energy.

I just wish I had so much courage as you showed this morning!

FW

dirtyepic

Memory_Girl wrote: »

Just back from giving the dog his morning blast - usually its quite a nice spot in the day, me throwing balls, the kids on the swings playing together.

But today I got cornered by someone who I thought was a friend when the bank crunched me a couple of years ago. They disappeared pretty darn quickly when they realised I was no longer running a business and reliant on benefits.

They then spent an hour spilling all over me about how bad "their" life is. How the whole world is against them, how everyone is conspiring to destroy them, how its the Governments fault, local councils fault, Bosses fault, partners fault, kids fault. How they are "trapped" and how the "World Owes them" - just for being THEM apparently.

The dog decided he had had enough running and came back to flop at my feet ................... and I looked over at my boys (something really sweet about and 11 year old and three year old playing together) - and I snapped!!!

I let fire with two barrels - told them I didn't have the time, energy or inclination to listen to them any more. I said I had rebuilt our lives (only you and I know how I have nearly paid back 10K in 2 years to the bank despite being on benefits for a year of that time).

I had done that by sucking it up, by stopping moaning and doing "Whatever it takes" to take care of me and mine. No-one owes me anything but I was prepared to work hard to keep my family together. That this few years have taught me some hard lessons -and some really valuable ones ...................... like what true friends look like.

Sorry I can't help you - not motivated enough to do so as you are firmly in my category of "not friend" as demonstrated by your actions over the last two years.

Good luck - but you are not my problem.

And I took the boys and came home to breakfast (cinnamon rolls, home made naturally).

It has taken two cups of coffee to stop shaking, and OMG!!! the issue is I DON'T feel guilty and kind of feel like I should. I really let them have it with two barrels - but if you will forgive me whilst I point out this. They really haven't reached their LBM, AHA moment, BFO, whatever you want to call it - they haven' woken up and smelled the roses.

The world HAS changed - endless moaning will not change that. If what you are doing now is not working - do something different please, but don't ruin my Sunday with my boys by dragging me into your control drama.

.................. and breathe MG

Sorry not the worlds most inspirational post - but this morning has made me realise quite a lot about myself (not only that I have very little patience with some people)

MG

"Not the world's most inspirational post" you say.

Blimey MG - it's one of them.

It's a reminder that we are responsible for our own life, our own actions and in a kind of way, to shape our own future.

It's another reminder that friendship or any interaction with any person whether it is a friend, colleague, family member works with interaction both ways and if one person isn't pulling the line then maybe it's time to let go.

On reading this I felt a little rush of excitement and a bit of confirmation that what I have set out to achieve over the last 11 months HAS BEEN THE RIGHT THING.

I feel the same with any kind of confrontation and get extremely anxious when I think of what is going to happen. I try not to think but then I have to be prepared with whatever might be said. So to be able to actually say all of that, in the spur of the moment - God I wish I could!!!

Maybe that is another thing I have to find over the next year or so when all of the health, finance and career issues have been resolved - A BOATLOAD OF CONFIDENCE!!!

Enjoy the rest of the weekend MG

Dirtyepic

hex2

MG - totally agree, and a brave response by you.

Greenbee - Hope you are feeling brighter this morning :hello:

Sorry, not contributing a lot atm. Far too much on, need to cut some stuff out or fall over .

ETA good post dirtyepic, I agree.