Diary of a (hopefully)reformed shopaholic

savingholmes

Glad you had a nice birthday!

LivvyLoo_2

Hi everyone,
Thank you for my birthday wishes :j

Emma, isn't it funny that you feel so guilty when you are buying things that you have the money for? I think once you get into the money saving mode rather than spending mode you feel like you can't spend anything...its really odd. All the clothes I bought are for work, I really need winter clothes and I shopped in New Look...I got a lot more for my money, so some of the new habits are good ones at least.

Mummy, OH asked is he could move back in and make a go of things so I figured that if I didn't go for it then I would never know and always be thinking what if. If I give it a go and it doesn't work out then at least I know I've tried. Money is still staying as it is though because for the first time in my life I feel in control with it.

So today I have updated all my accounts and the only one which is looking sorry for itself is the Clothes and Entertainment fund (£16 left)...not surprising really.

I was going to go to the PO today and post eBay items but I need some more packets so will do PO trip tomorrow and put the cash in my account too.

Next items (apart from the one I am keeping) are all bagged up and ready to send back and the leggings I had on order have been cancelled as I bought a pair from Top shop on Friday...I even wore the holey ones to potter round the house on Sunday.

I was really annoyed with myself yesterday as due to hangover on Sunday I didn't make any lunch for Monday, so I went to the canteen at work and bought a jacket potato, crips, choc and mints...£4.50 :mad: Not happy, I have made tuna sarnie for today and I have a cheese and onion roll. Imagine if you bought something from the canteen every day :eek:

I need to sort out house insurance soon...going to see if I can get a better deal than the one OH got last time

OK well I think thats it from me.

TTFN XX

Keeping_Motivated

Hi Livvy, what does OH make of your new attitude to money? Have you discussed the money dynamics once he moves back in? Obviously things will go up, food, electric etc plus I assume your social budget my go up too.

LivvyLoo_2

Hi KM,
He knows exactly where I am coming from with money, I have told him I am not sharing my money with him, he wanted to split the money and its made me better off. He already pays half of the bills anyway and I have told him he will need to put into the food budget. If electricity goes up when we come out of the fixed rate he will have to put more in....I have just looked on EON and I used a load more electricity in September, think its probably because of drying the carpets.

I have also had another chat with him about getting a consolidation loan (my name is still on one that he pays), he didn't want to because he wants to pay them off but when I told him about over payments he said he would apply again after Christmas....atm he pays £750 a month to loans but he has paid off his OD and CC.

Not sure if my social budget will go up too much more (at least I wont need to pay babysitter when I go out on my own), will just keep an eye on it, this will need to be split between us too.

I am a bit nervous about him just taking my car when his doesn't have petrol in but I will discuss this at the time if it happens.

LivvyLoo_2

Hi diary,
Today I am feeling really hacked off...had a talk with OH last night and he is talking about what we need to do when he moves back in in the way of money and our lifestyles. He has been away for 8 months and then suddenly he thinks he is coming back and is starting to dicate my life.

He doesn't want routine (difficult with 3 yr old), he doesn't want to save money here and there and budget and have a spreadsheet (well we have split the money now so I said he can manage his own money but my spreadsheet isnt going), and that generally we need to go away more and be more spontateous...not worrying about jobs, money and the fact that DD has a routine.

What I feel like is that I am the one letting him back in and yet he is talking to me like I should be adapting for him...like I should be grateful.

DD has a routine and I work full time so its the only way I can work...and thats part of my personality. I manage my money so I can get out of debt and when I am out of debt and he is in more debt whose gonna pay then?
The love I had for him isn't as strong and if he is dictating what we do and how to manage DD then I don't think its gonna come back in a hurry. It should be about compromise.

Anyway whinge over, I am going to have a word with him tonight about it as I can't live by the seat of my pants.

Been to PO to send ebay parcels and put money in bank. I have £146 left in current account so that should see me though.

Some one at nursery has opened their car door on mine and left a big dent in it with bright blue paint in the middle (thats how I know it was at nursery this morning).

Not a happy bunny today
xx

yellow3

Hi livvyloo

I have been lurking on your diary recently started one of my own,
I know exactly what you mean about routine and spreadsheets. Stick to your guns (am sure you will) I have been in your position before

Good luck

Yellow x

mummytogirls

Hi Livvy,

Oh no to you feeling hacked off. You definately need to stand your ground as youve done so well for yourself money wise.
Re the routine, again you know yourself you need routine when your working. Plus the kids know where they are.

Oh dear to the car, do you know who it was. Why oh why cant people just be careful where cars are concerned... really annoys me that does :mad:

xx

LivvyLoo_2

Evening diary,

Hi Yellow, thanks for stopping by. I will have a read of your diary and subscribe. Thanks for your advice, I have stuck to my guns and told OH everything I was thinking tonight. We had a massive bust up...which I expected because he isn't used to me saying what I think. I mentioned the debt though and if he didn't control it his would be out of control and he says that his problem! But I have a loan with him with my name on (altho he pays it) and thats a problem for me.

Hi Mummy, we discussed the routine again and I said that during the week thats the way it would stay (he still doesn't get that kids need to be in a routine tho). He said he was only talking about the weekend but if thats the case then he should make things clearer, he has a habit of saying one thing but then saying he didn't say it later.
I am going to take a pic of my car and ask the nursery manager what to do. I asked my babysitter (who works there) if she knew what car I was talking about from my description and she said she did. Hopefully I will get something sorted because in the past I have just ended up paying out for things that aren't my fault and not wanting to cause a scene. I guess I need to get tough.

OH stayed for tea and then we watched some tv together, I said earlier that we should be getting excited about him moving back in and then discussing changing things at a later date, he took all my excitement away laying down the law and I think he took it on board as was a different person by the time he left. I said what I wanted to and thats the main thing, I have to expect arguments when I say what I need to but its being happy the rest of mine and DD's life I am fighting for.

My car insurance docs came through today, I am going to read them thoroughly tomorrow to make sure I haven't missed anything...I am a novice with taking control of car things.

xx

savingholmes

I think I would want to be really sure about the ground rules and that he was going to live with them before he moved in. I would also want to try and get my name off the loan if at all possible - I would make this a top priority given that things seem unstable between you...

I wish you the best of luck tho - it can't be an easy situation

Hope you get some money back on the car door....

yellow3

Glad you managed to get your points across to OH livvyloo.
My OH has a habit of changing the goalposts too and it's no fun.
I also am trying to be more assertive but it's a hard slog when its not your natural personality, I hate confrontation and discussions about money, but that's why I'm in debt!

Yellow x