Should my wife give up work? Your thoughts and experiences.

clearingout

a lot of people I know who are teaching assistants started as volunteers when their children started school. Is this something she could consider and fit in with her current work? a few hours in a school would give her an idea of what would need to be said at an interview and show her to be up to date with current thinking on educational issues.

anguk

I gave up work when I had my kids, it was a joint decision but something I felt I needed and wanted to do. Both my parents worked and growing up we had very little family time all together, one or the other always seemed to be working and I didn't want that for my kids. My kids are both now grown up and I don't regret not working for one minute.

That said I think it's a very personal decision, staying at home and raising my kids was very important to me, some women need the outside stimulus of work, some women have to work for financial reasons.

I never got bored, even when the kids were at school there was always something to do or somewhere to go. We did have to make sacrifices though, my OH worked but didn't earn loads so we never had foreign holidays or the latest gadgets or TVs but we're not very materialistic people and as long as we've got a roof over our heads, plenty of food and can afford the bills we're happy.

If your wife wants to give up work for a few years and you can manage financially I'd say go for it, children are only young for a short time and if she finds it doesn't suit she can always go back to work.

hayleythedaisy

If you can afford it and it will improve the quality time you have as a family then I am for it. You only live once, you've obviously both chosen to be together and to have kids, it seems a shame to waste your life existing for work.

Spendless

I packed in work to be home f-time when I had my eldest. There was not the level of childcare help that there is now when he was born 11 years ago, and my employer only employed f-time workers, the right to request flexible working didn't exist, so it was work f-time 5 days a week for the equivalent of all your wages or pack in. I chose the latter.

The benefits- you are there, you haven't got to worry what to do when your child/ren are sick, school closes, how you are going to manage to get to sports day/xmas concert etc.

The cons- you don't get bored as in 'I have nothing to do' you get bored as in I need to talk to another adult soon. Your housework can lack structure and get left (yes seriously, cos you can always do it tomorrow, work and you'll have to do it cos you'll have a deadline). Money, 'big ticket' items are a struggle, holidays, replacing/repairing car, washing machine breaks down, rooms needing re-decorating. Because people don't tend to pack in the way I did anymore (due to the issues I had now being resolved for many) it's harder to break back in to employment after a gap. I also had the issue of technology advancing a lot in the interim years, so for you qualifications may go out of date and you'd need to go get x before you can go back to the field where you worked.

neverdespairgirl

If you think you can afford it by cutting back a bi, I'd suggest the first thing to do is to cut back for a couple of months while your wife is still working and see if you really can afford it.

Also, perhaps it might be an idea to see if she can get another job, with more day time hours, rather than see it as this job v no job?

Pips_Mum

Thats kind of what I am planning on doing neverdespairgirl. I will be made redundant end Nov/beginnign Dec so am going to wait until New Year and see how we have managed. I will still have redundancy money to fall back on, if I have had to dip into it then I know we wouldnt manage without me working.

Phil3822 maybe for a few months you could put Wifes money straight into a savings account and see if you would manage without it, its always there as a back up if you begin to struggle.

Bitsy_Beans

Phil3822 wrote: »

ciderwithrose, thanks for your response. Wife is a qualified nursary assistant/supervisor although there seems to be very few jobs around here that are not full time. Wife would like to work in a school as a teaching assistant but again very few positions available which is a shame as part time would suit well.

Would you both consider her becoming a childminder?
It's what I did in order to be at home with my kids but also earning a tiny bit of money to help towards our monthly outgoings.
OK you are self employed but you set your own business terms, rates and depending on demand can pick the business that suits you. There is an element of home turning into a creche but perhaps that's a small sacrifice to pay to get some of the things you need ie no need for childcare, small amount of earnings etc.

Darlyd

Bitsy_Beans wrote: »

Would you both consider her becoming a childminder?
It's what I did in order to be at home with my kids but also earning a tiny bit of money to help towards our monthly outgoings.
OK you are self employed but you set your own business terms, rates and depending on demand can pick the business that suits you. There is an element of home turning into a creche but perhaps that's a small sacrifice to pay to get some of the things you need ie no need for childcare, small amount of earnings etc.

That is a fantastic idea. Especially with her qualifications, I can't see a problem, most parents need someone to pick their kids up for few hours, and take them school.

I think I may re think my career.

Phil3822

Childminder is an option but we dont have the biggest house. Reasonable but I always imagine we would need a bigger house.

Pips mum, we should put my wifes money away now however part of the plan in order to reduce our finances if she gave work up includes cancelling sky, lower fuel bill, lower shopping bill, no landline or broadband needed. (Have data package on mobiles), selling a car and cancel insurance etc. We would struggle to do these things now while she still works hence struggle to put money away. We put some away though!

Beckyy

I also agree with putting your wifes current wage straight into savings each month for now. It will give you a good idea of how well you'll cope without it.

Good luck with your decisions!