Help with working this out please

Sid_Wolf

A relative of mine is seeing a married woman, she spent the night with him recently and is planning to do so again next week. They dont always have sex, a lot of the time they watch a film or just chat

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

An ex boyfriend is like that with his conquests. They think he is a carer to an older Aunt/his landlady. She's not. She thinks he's her fiance, and they have been together, joint tenancy, shared accounts, everything (other than his secret shagfloat, obviously). He often talks vaguely about imminent death and how he has no future. It's bollox. He sometimes has to go out for work at night. Maybe once every couple of weeks. The rest of the time he is out, he is seeing various women who all think he's the One.

The number one rule for anyone is not to call him in the evening, and he has a specific work phone that he uses for them that doesn't show up in his accounts. Oh, and it's used for calls to the Sexual Health Clinic.


If you aren't desolate at the thought of not seeing him every day, it's not enough for a relationship and you would be better off rid of him.

thegirlintheattic

+ for married!

You've known him 2 years and have never been to his house, met his friends or family or know where he lives. I admit I don't remember everything my OH has told me but ever since we met I've known his address and his parents address.

Alarm bells if he only comes to yours and you never go to his house. I'd say "oh how about I pop round for a coffee" and see what he says.

JadedAngel88

Wow didnt realise such a question would get this reaction. Sent a very long text to him yesterday outlining my fear of his inability to text etc, got no reply obviously.

The things I do know about him, he has a sister who lives in birmingham, who's married with 3 boys, he works for a shipping company in London, I dont know if I can put where exactly without getting in to trouble, he likes bryan adam????, he has lived with his dad since his mum !!!!!!ed off and left them when he was younger, cant remember I think he was 11 or 12 when that happened and he hasnt seen her since, (he's 39), he has friends in Italy, he went on holiday there last christmas. That all I can remember him telling me. There may have been more but I did have a lot going on at the time, so dont remember it all.

I have had a look on 192 thing and there are 2 addresses with his name, and there is a possibility of 1 being his, as the residents have lived at this address for a long time, I think he had said that they have lived in the flat for many years, and the address is a flat.

I do know his middle name and yes I have tried facebook, but just drew a blank there, and in all honesty I dont think he'd be on there.

Richgold- Fabulous comment about the gimp costume, I was LOL at that one.

Thanks to everyone one for your comment they have helped a lot. I am assuming that I will hear from him today, depending on how busy work is, if I hear anything I'll up date on here.

NickyBat

Be cafefull with 192.com, it's not that reliable, i can be found twice on it and my hubby shows up as living with his ex and the people he sold his old house to, so it can be quite out of date.
My dad died and yet he is still on it!!!!

MissShoes

Any response yet OP? X

JadedAngel88

I was called into work yesterday so was unable to update, I have received a text from him saying nothing has changed for him and he still wants to see me.

So from that do I assume that he means nothing has changed with regards to his father or that he is still married/has gf, like he was/is 2 years ago.

It would have been nice if he could have said yes or no, and Im not just sitting here wondering what is going on but the general opinion is that he is married or with someone.

Never mind better luck next time...lol

Thanks everyone for your opinions, its been a great help.

NickyBat

Lol that was a clever response from him, not actually answering anything you may have asked!!

OP i think you now know something is not right so it's up to you where you want this to go or if you want it to carry on, think if it were me though i would have to see him face to face and find out more....pin him down and get some answers.

Good luck
x

VfM4meplse

JadedAngel88 wrote: »

I have received a text from him saying nothing has changed for him and he still wants to see me.

Of course he does, he feels that he has nothing to lose.

What is stopping you from seeing him occasionally - on your terms - and other men on a casual basis too. Dating is supposed to be fun btw! Once you start worrying about what they're doing, thinking about them all the time etc it's time to step it up a gear and get to know them better, which means sharing more than a few sparse details.

pimento

JadedAngel88 wrote: »

I do know his middle name and yes I have tried facebook, but just drew a blank there, and in all honesty I dont think he'd be on there.

You can search for someone on Facebook using their email address. This helps if they're called Fred Smith.