You are a fool if you have a joint bank account.

scooby088

Money wise i don't trust anyone as it is the big corrupter and whilst my OH is probably the one i trust the most with money i still would never have a joint account, i know what i have to pay each month and do it as does she.

Tropez

Rebecca01 wrote: »

The advantage is that people like myself , SAHM or SAHD don't have to ask their partner for money as they have no other income, when your supposed to be a family.

Yet presumably there is some sort of agreement in place over just how much you can take out and for what? Or at the very least, some sort of common sense system? I'm guessing, for example, that when you wish to treat yourself, perhaps a nice day out for yourself, you at least would have to check that everything was okay with doing that first?

Rebecca01

Tropez wrote: »

Yet presumably there is some sort of agreement in place over just how much you can take out and for what? Or at the very least, some sort of common sense system? I'm guessing, for example, that when you wish to treat yourself, perhaps a nice day out for yourself, you at least would have to check that everything was okay with doing that first?

Yes I guess if it was a huge amount we would mention it to each other but we would mention this sort of thing anyway as I would first check that he was ok to have dd all day. So then he would just realise it would cost a certain amount.
However I can't think of any big purchases we have ' asked for ' over the last three years . Things like a new TV we would just both agree on. Things like new clothes or beer in oH case, we would just spend and not ask.

Bitsy_Beans

Clearly H and I are fools according to Mr Tomato but I am quite old fashioned. there isn't "his and her's" money it's OURS. It's a partnership and that includes the finances. Large purchases are discussed but all our money is put into the pot for the family.
Works for us, other people have separate accounts but I wouldn't have the gumption to sit and call them foolish. Each to their own.

shirlgirl2004

Rebecca01 wrote: »

Yes I guess if it was a huge amount we would mention it to each other but we would mention this sort of thing anyway as I would first check that he was ok to have dd all day. So then he would just realise it would cost a certain amount.
However I can't think of any big purchases we have ' asked for ' over the last three years . Things like a new TV we would just both agree on. Things like new clothes or beer in oH case, we would just spend and not ask.

We're the same. I gave up a good job to be a SAHM and I'm responsible for paying the bills and making sure the money is in the right account at the right time. We don't ask each other before we spend money (although when he told me his new glasses cost £500 it was a bit :eek:) but neither of us is spend thrift and he knows I wouldn't run off with his money. Actually I don't think of it as his money but I guess others on MSE might.

MsHoarder

Saturnalia wrote: »

Back in the day when you were given your wages as cash, my mum was a stay-home mum and my dad worked long hours, and he would come home on payday and give his wage packet to my mum unopened, and she'd give him his spending money from it. My mum would go to town the next day, buy and pay what was needed and bank the rest.

I've never heard of any other couple doing this but it worked great for them. My dad always said that as my mum did all the shopping and managed the bills and bank account while he was at work, why should she have to ask him for the money to run the household? And as he never bought anything, he didn't need anything other than a bit of pocket money at any one time.

It always struck me as a really equalist way of running things and they did so for years. (Even after wages were paid straight into the bank, my dad is always impressed when he sees my sister and I using our debit cards - he doesn't know where his is, what his PIN is, or what to do with one!)

i've seen this as the common way to do things in some parts, and it is a way to accept that the woman is responsible for ensuring the house is run well (in the days when most women were housewives) and gave the man the freedom of knowing left over money was his to spend.

One of my dad's friends did often run out of "spends" to drink in the pub after work at the end of the week, but he wasn't being kept short he just couldn't budget. it would have been disastrous for the whole family (including) if he'd had all of the family's money to spend.

For myself, I have a joint account with DH, we're both careful and know that if we did split up (which we did do once whilst young and foolish) we'd work out a fair way to split it and wouldn't run up an overdraft because we're both decent people.

It may be hard work to split it, but is it much worse than the rest of the problem with breaking up a household, deciding who keeps the house, furniture and how much they owe the other person for that? I don't want to live my life ready to leave at any moment, I put faith in my husband and he puts faith in me.

Rebecca01

shirlgirl2004 wrote: »

We're the same. I gave up a good job to be a SAHM and I'm responsible for paying the bills and making sure the money is in the right account at the right time. We don't ask each other before we spend money (although when he told me his new glasses cost £500 it was a bit :eek:) but neither of us is spend thrift and he knows I wouldn't run off with his money. Actually I don't think of it as his money but I guess others on MSE might.

But if OH paid us the going rate for 24 h childcare , we would be quids in. Lol
I also just see it as our money , not just his and I thought the same when I was working, it was all our money.