Advice needed, son has invited his Dad to his wedding

Joseph_Bloggs_2

I have first hand experience to relate. I divorced my first wife 35 years ago, we had 2 girls. We now have 2 married daughters and 3 grandchildren.
Our first occasion of coming together after our divorce (aside from access visits) was our first daughter's wedding. My ex and I bit the bullet and sat at top table. Our spouses we had re-married to sat together at another table of 6. Things went along well, and since then we have had no problems being together at family occasions/ christenings/school plays/funerals - you get the picture.
If you can make the first move graciously it will be worth it for the rest of your lives, and for family life. Give it your best shot!

pimento

skylight wrote: »

Don't forget the important bit - to go on a diet and get yourself down the gym before you buy a knock out dress for the day!

Do you think her ex is also doing this?

January20

This thread is making me quite sad because I wonder what my poor dd will do if she gets married as if she invites her father, he will insist that I am not invited! That's what he did at his brother's wedding: wouldn't turn up if I was there so dd and I were uninvited! (I have not attended funerals in the past because I know it will upset him!)

OP, I can only repeat the advice given above, and say that I have a funny feeling that you are building it all up in your head and on the day it will be really fine.

webitha

Bridesmaid83 wrote: »

and above all the advice already given...make sure you look as hot as possible!!! nothing beats looking hot infront of an ex

oh sooo true, i am going to a wedding in 2 weeks where my first love will also be a guest, and ive dropped half a stone and doing zumba every day, just so in my head, i can say " ner ner look what you threw away, see you may have destroyed me then, but i have bounced back, better than ever...your loss, loser", he actually laughed at me, when i put on 3 stone and was a wreck.

see a recent photo of him and yes he is fatter a lot fatter and bald :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

my best revenge though is my happiness, knowing he is in a loveless marriage, whereas i am fantastically happy with my OH of 8 years


(bitter?? moi???) :)

Joseph_Bloggs_2

webitha wrote: »

oh sooo true, i am going to a wedding in 2 weeks where my first love will also be a guest, and ive dropped half a stone and doing zumba every day, just so in my head, i can say " ner ner look what you threw away, see you may have destroyed me then, but i have bounced back, better than ever...your loss, loser", he actually laughed at me, when i put on 3 stone and was a wreck.

see a recent photo of him and yes he is fatter a lot fatter and bald :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

my best revenge though is my happiness, knowing he is in a loveless marriage, whereas i am fantastically happy with my OH of 8 years


(bitter?? moi???) :)

Grow up...! The OP asked for advice regarding the Father of her son, not just an ex.

aloise

Get dolled up to the nines,but don't overdo it, show how successful and happy you are. Introduce your other kids and enjoy the wedding. Be polite but don't make a special effort to seek him out, he will think you are not over him and you are. remember there will be other occasions after this, christening, anniversaries etc, so this is a first run. it's your son's day, but mother of the groom is very important. (who looks at the father of the bride? ) Have a lovely day.

Gavin83

Honestly I can't understand some of the posts in this topic. Why is it necessary to make yourself as attractive as possible in a vain attempt to make him regret his decisions?

Just go to the wedding and enjoy the day. The likelihood is you'll barely say a word to each other anyway except for the necessaries.

Any

I agree, just go to the wedding and enjoy your day.
To be honest I would not even burden your son with this... YOU have chosen his father for him and he should not be made worried that he has done something to upset you.
He already has his hands full with organising the wedding.

18 years is a long time. You are in new relationship, it seems longer then your first one?(I might be wrong?). I am sure you will be completely fine!!
Also, how many people will be there? Chances are you won't see him much anyway!

My sister's MIL is still after 24 years bitter and awfull woman, always making scenes where her ex is involved and making life difficult for her sons. The wedding had to be organised so they sit on the other side of the whole room. It was a nightmare. Family around them don't want to have do's just to avoid inviting one over the other and how it will come and bite them in the bum..
The one person I feel the most sorry for is her partner of 20 years... it must hurt him, because lets face it it does create the feeling that the first one was loved more then the next one.

SueC_2

skylight wrote: »

Don't forget the important bit - to go on a diet and get yourself down the gym before you buy a knock out dress for the day!

pimento wrote: »

Do you think her ex is also doing this?

Oh I do hope not.... wouldn't it be dreadful if they both turned up in the same frock....!

euronorris

January20 wrote: »

This thread is making me quite sad because I wonder what my poor dd will do if she gets married as if she invites her father, he will insist that I am not invited! That's what he did at his brother's wedding: wouldn't turn up if I was there so dd and I were uninvited! (I have not attended funerals in the past because I know it will upset him!)

OP, I can only repeat the advice given above, and say that I have a funny feeling that you are building it all up in your head and on the day it will be really fine.

I'd hope she'd tell her Dad that he could either come, and deal with it, or miss out. After all, who is he to impose such things on anyone else?!

My friend's step-mum is like this, and she hates me. She told my friend that if I am at her wedding, she won't go. So my friend said 'Fine, you'll be missing out then, as Euro is definitely coming.'. But, they have a tense relationship anyway, so my friend doesn't feel like she'll be missing out on anything.