Advice needed, son has invited his Dad to his wedding

Raksha · 27 July 2011 at 5:24PM

The problem is, we split up 19 years ago, I've not seen him for more than 15 years (he started letting his son down re weekends etc, so son told him to come back when he'd grown up), but I'm worried how I'm going to deal with seeing him again (he divorced me, it left me devestated). i've been with my OH for 18 years, and we have 2 teenage sons, but it's the old 'first love' thing.......

skylight · 27 July 2011 at 5:27PM

You will smile nicely when you shake his hand and ask him how he has been.

Its for your sons sake and as his Mum who stood by him during thick and thin, you will have the upperhand and the smug grin on your face.

You can do it!

jamespir · 27 July 2011 at 5:27PM

its been 19 years and your with someone else what are you afraid of ?

if you havent gotten over him by now you shouldnt be in your current relationship

shellsuit · 27 July 2011 at 5:30PM

Just say Hello and be civil and it will be fine.

Remember you'll be there for your son and his fiancee.

robpw2 · 27 July 2011 at 5:33PM

i could lend you a paper bag , if you cut some eye holes , he won't recognise you , the only problem would be the wedding photos may look a bit odd lol

Person_one · 27 July 2011 at 5:35PM

Maybe you should arrange to see him before the actual wedding day, you wouldn't want nerves and awkwardness to ruin what should be a lovely day. Does he have a partner now too? If so maybe the six of you could meet for dinner and to try and build some bridges, after all you might all be grandparents to the same children soon.

CH27 · 27 July 2011 at 5:45PM

Hold your head up & smile. Be proud of your lovely son.

DitaVonTee · 27 July 2011 at 5:48PM

Surely although it may be difficult, you wouldn't want to deprive your son of his father being there on HIS wedding day would you?

Be the bigger person, I'm sure he could easily be avoided.:)

ellay864 · 27 July 2011 at 6:06PM

I've been apart from my ex for 12 years though I do still see him when he drops DS2 back home, but it's very brief and we don't really talk much at all. He left me for somebody else, I was devastated but I've moved on and am marrying in October. I don't quite agree with jamespir's comment about not getting over him - I have moved on from my ex, have certainly got over him, but I do still remember very clearly the hurt, and after a lot of other stuff that went on after the split it all got very acrimonious. I have never spoken to his new wife (the woman he left me for) and I'd never want to, but I know we will all have to be civil if either of our lads gets married. Just remember that it's your son that matters on that day and you have to put your feelings to one side. Apart from photos you won't have to be together but you can't let anything get in the way of your son's big day. Just tell yourself it's only for a few hours and rise above it

candygirl · 27 July 2011 at 6:10PM

It must be really difficult for you hun.If it was my DD inviting my ex from 22 years ago I would also feel on edge.Just make sure you look and act your best, and show how happy you are now:D:D

McKneff · 27 July 2011 at 6:12PM

He may be be fat and bald with bad teeth............................

Then what will you think.............

Advice needed, son has invited his Dad to his wedding

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