"Simply not solvent!

chevalier

Hi Seax
sorry if i was too harsh. But i thought it needed to be said. If you have issues that bad, then even if you don't want him to leave. You still need to talk to him about them. And to maybe even go to relationship councilling to work through the issues. For both of you.

It just seems like you are in a very toxic place at the moment. And that can't be good for any of you. The children included.

Good luck with sorting it out
chev

buddiebabe

Hey Seaxwyn hows things this week??? I hope your busy hard at work and not just sitting at home working your way through your 12 bottles of red wine :rolleyes:

Buddiebabe x

cheesedoffwithdebt

It seems to me that you have thought through many of your options- what I have done is constantly re-evaluated each issue, and made small changes along the way.
I am a long way from becoming debt free but have worked out so many ways to live on my income now, and not live beyond my means, but it does take alot of work and alot of thought!.
Re all the questions and comments re life cover- as you have children it would be inadviseable to ditch that as this is the means of repaying the mortgage debt it either of you die- and would leave the surviving spouse and children in a terrible situation if the worst did happen.
As another post suggests-life cover is actually much cheaper these days and it may be possible to cut those costs but do please take advice to make sure you get the right product!.

I wish you all the best!

Karmacat

Hi Seaxwyn

Just reading through the last week or so again ... *such* a tough time you're going through. All I wanted to add was a huge "hear hear" to what taka said about the mindfulness book. I clicked her link, and its got Mark Williams and Jon KabatZinn, and they're both brilliant. I have Full Catastrophe Living by Jon KZ, about his pain clinic (which I was rabbiting to Taxi about the other day) and I was also given a copy of the Mark Williams meditation CD (by that otherwise dreadful CBT practitioner I went to) - its really helpful. If I use it, of course.

Lots of positive vibes, Seaxwyn.

Seaxwyn

Thanks for the nice words everyone. I'm sorry to realise that I come across as so down - I think it comes out on this diary more than in real life. Right now I'm feeling great - loving the spring weather, the birds in my garden, the kids are all blossoming and I'm feeling optimistic.

Work is still coming in thick and fast. I've got lots more of those articles to write for the big job - and they have confirmed that they'll pay in April, so in the new tax year - perfect.

I'm going to apply for a maternity cover job. It's 3 days a week for 9 months, in London but walkable from London Bridge station (so no tube fare). I don't know what chance I have of getting it, particularly as I've been out of the regular job scene for so many years, but I'll give it a go.

Meanwhile things are STILL tight financially this month. OH received his payslip which revealed that he's not going to be paid for half the work he did last month. The college is a total shambles! But rather than just letting it slide, he's booked a meeting with the payroll bloke to sort it out.

hypno06

At least he has booked to see the payroll guy to sort it out - in months gone by he would just have let it sort itself out someday maybe! So progress has been made there!

Glad that work is coming in too and good luck with the maternity cover job.

tyllwyd

Good luck with the job application! I'm sure I should know whereabouts in the UK you live, but I can't think - would the commuting be OK?

Karmacat

Hurray! Glad to hear that RL is better!

Seaxwyn

Commuting would be fine, I live in Surrey half an hour from London by train. I don't expect to get the job but it's worth a try. Although freelancing is going well at present, there is always the potential that it could all grind to a halt. And a maternity cover post seems a good way of trying out employment without making a long-term commitment.

tyllwyd

Brilliant - I don't know why, but I had it in my mind that you lived in Devon, so I was a bit surprised when you said London! Even if you don't get the maternity cover job, you never know, there's always the chance that it could lead to something else in the future. Definitely worth a try.