"Simply not solvent!

dawnybabes

Hope the keys turn up soon - could you not claim on house/car insurance ?


OH lost his key thingy (it was renault credit card thing and I'd been saying since he got it he would loose it) and it cost us £120 I moaned for weeks .....

Seaxwyn

Do you think we could claim? I hadn't thought of that. I'll have a look at the policy.

The surprise thing with us was that it was OH who lost the keys and not me. I am always losing things, he never does. Or never did.

Karmacat

Oof, Seaxwyn, sorry this is going on for you - how horrible. Chev too, when you're facing potential losses like that, it can really take over. I lost a cheque inside the house for a day or so last week - it was about £100, it seemed a lot then, but nothing on the scale that either of you are describing, and I felt awful, almost sick.

The "own room" saga - it really does depend on the personalities of the children, doesn't it? We lived in a double fronted terrace when I was a kid, and my sister and I shared a huge room at the back, the same size as the main bedroom, but I hated it, and I nagged and nagged until my mum and dad cleared what we then called the box room - it was literally six foot by six foot, the bed touched 3 walls, but I'm a solitary soul, always have been, and I *needed* my own room. You've got "enough" kids (what a funny way to put it, but you know what I mean - I hope) that people can switch round, and everyone can get most of what they want - Sea was writing about compromise with her OH on her thread. Anyway, sorryto push in on that one, it just made me remember.

Seaxwyn

Hi karmacat, hope you've had a good weekend. Thanks for your thoughts on the room business. It certainly is obscene to imagine all children "need" their own room when in most of the world that's not an option (I've just read 'The Bookseller of Kabul' which was a wake up call on that front).

I'm shelving plans to deal with this. I think what both DD and DS need most is more attention from their parents. Their squabbling and conflicts are possibly a symptom of their unhappiness that OH and I are always working. I am going to try and give them better attention, and a tidier house, and see if the room issues go away, or become more easily solvable.

taxi73

Keep my fingers crossed that you find them then and I know you will get work you've always had it before.
You may be right about the children...and wanting more attention but if you put yourselves in more debt for another house then they will get less so if this is what they are after (more attention )..then they can learn the art of compromise and also they won't live at home forever....
PS,....didn't mean that nasty..it'sso hard to write things how you want them to sound when you're actually talking to someone IYKWIM...
I hate everyone having all this stress ...like you say that book opened your eyes....take care xx

Sea78

Hi honey.

Must be stressful about the work - have you got a busy week ahead, or will you be able to do some ringing round and drumming up some new business that way?

Difficult one about the house - never sure we're doing the right thing I think. Perhaps you could have some nice time with your DD preparing for the ski trip? Then chose another activity (could be free?like a walk?crafty thing?) where the others each get at least 30 mins undivided attention a week - might help?

Sea xxx

Karmacat

Hi Seaxwyn

Yep, the weekend has been good - tho also solitary, like when I was little. But this time it was on purpose too, as I'm fighting a lurgy. I don't know that I'd be so hard on us as to call wanting our own room for our kids "obscene" - I know so many people in this world have nothing, but *this* society is the one we live in. I started to come out of my liberal guilt one day when I was challenged on it by a black friend - she told me to get over it and stop apologising! It made me think, I can tell you.

I think about it from the historical viewpoint, too - in my own city, maybe 150 years ago, it was common for two or three families to live in one room, and it was like that in all the industrialised towns in the north. And even in the rural districts they originally came from, there was no real concept of privacy as we understand it. Anyway, I just think we have different standards these days - when I was little, we had no phone, no fridge, no car, no central heating, but nobody had those things. I can remember so well the excitement of getting a fridge! And the car!

Sorry to hear your analysis of the situation is that its about attention - but if it is, better you know it now, just an extra few minutes regularly, or an hour here and there, can make an awful lot of difference.

Sea78

Karmacat wrote: »

Hi Seaxwyn

Yep, the weekend has been good - tho also solitary, like when I was little. But this time it was on purpose too, as I'm fighting a lurgy. I don't know that I'd be so hard on us as to call wanting our own room for our kids "obscene" - I know so many people in this world have nothing, but *this* society is the one we live in. I started to come out of my liberal guilt one day when I was challenged on it by a black friend - she told me to get over it and stop apologising! It made me think, I can tell you.

A good point here Karmacat

Seaxwyn

thanks both. Definitely I will look for individual things to do with the children. the two youngest tend to get lumped together. The ski trip will be a wonderful chance to be with DD - and DS is very jealous about that! (I did try to line up a road trip to Greece with him but it didn't come off - will look out for something else).

Re work - I'm going to see one client tomorrow to find out whether some work I should have completed last year but didn't is still required. That is going to be very embarrassing - but could result in 8 days work if they still want it. After that I have about a day and a half's work to do this week (plus two or three shifts at the post office), otherwise I can concentrate on a) tidying house and finding keys. b) writing promotional blurb and planning campaign to get work, c) Amazon listing. Quite looking forward to it actually (except for tomorrow, cringing at the thought of that).

taxi73

Sometimes its good to have a few days to clear up all the lose ends ie cleaning a, b .c as suggested above ..as you know I've had time off for that as well and it really does clear the head....I now plan to take time out to do these sort of things when needed as sometimes the brain(mine anyway) can't cope with overload..could son and DH maybe do something together like camping? or something else they both have an interest in.
This life /work balance is so hard..we want to earn to give the kids the best and we want to spend time with them also ..I sometimes think the olden days were better in a way when fathers went to work and mothers stayed at home and the world wasn't so materialistic...though I guess it was hard work for the mothers no washers and dryers and no cars ...