We're aware that some users are experiencing technical issues which the team are working to resolve. See the Community Noticeboard for more info. Thank you for your patience.
📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!

Anyone feel sad because their kids are growing up?

Options
12357

Comments

  • make_me_wise
    make_me_wise Posts: 1,509 Forumite
    edited 9 August 2011 at 11:37AM
    NearlyHadEnough wrote: »
    how do you deal with feelings of regret over something you can do absolutely nothing about?

    Do you have lots of photos of the kids? My friend collected all the photos she had of her kids that had been taken over 1 year. She made it into a slideshow and set it to music. Its amazing. Maybe doing something like that might make you feel better.

    Your youngest is still young, at 14 you have years ahead to create some fantastic camcorder recordings.

    Dont regret what you cant change, get out there, buy a new one and get filming.
  • jcr16
    jcr16 Posts: 4,185 Forumite
    oh gosh you are so not alone,and my eldest is only 7!!!.

    but she is turning out to be the most wonderful, caring , thoughtful child. we get so many compliments about how polite and nice she is. ( we do for our other children also) and i feel so proud. yet i can rememeber the day she was born like yesterday and i'm thinking time please so down i want to enjoy everythign for a bit longer and bit slower.

    Our 4th baby is due next week, so we do still have alot of baby years ahead of us.

    i find it hard to believe that when i'm 40 my dd will be 18. by age of 19 i was engaged, bought our own place and planning our wedding. and i knew hubby was the right one but to think of my dd in same position falling in love in just 10 years times , oh boy wow. she might not, and tbh as long as all my children are happy i don't mind.

    but i just feel like saying stop the world and pause for a bit please.

    i love the baby years and were not done yet having babies, but it is truely wonderful ( if not scary at the speed) watchign them grow and develope into wonderful people.
  • pigpen
    pigpen Posts: 41,152 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    zaksmum wrote: »
    Soooo...is it only me, then, who was quite happy to see the kids grow up and leave home so I could finally have a bit of peace??????

    no, my mother hated her children as well :(
    LB moment 10/06 Debt Free date 6/6/14
    Hope to be debt free until the day I die
    Mortgage-free Wannabee (05/08/30)
    6/6/14 £72,454.65 (5.65% int.)
    08/12/2023 £33602.00 (4.81% int.)
  • zaksmum
    zaksmum Posts: 5,529 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    pigpen wrote: »
    no, my mother hated her children as well :(
    Not surprised with a smart @ss like you for a kid
  • elantan
    elantan Posts: 21,022 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    have to admit i love my son very very much ... but i am excited about him growing up and moving on with his life ... my role changes from being his everything to being his support ... his sage so to speak... we get one great

    he moved out at 16.5 for a while then moved back in at 18ish ... he has just got his keys for his first bought house (20 years old now) and i am actively helping him in anyway that i can to ensure he has a great life of his choosing ... i am proud of him and wish him all the best ... the fact that his is independant resourceful intelligent i feel is a credit to his upbrining and his life choices
  • pigpen
    pigpen Posts: 41,152 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    zaksmum wrote: »
    Not surprised with a smart @ss like you for a kid


    PMSL.. she taught me everything I know.. the rest was hereditary.. ;)
    LB moment 10/06 Debt Free date 6/6/14
    Hope to be debt free until the day I die
    Mortgage-free Wannabee (05/08/30)
    6/6/14 £72,454.65 (5.65% int.)
    08/12/2023 £33602.00 (4.81% int.)
  • cyclingyorkie
    cyclingyorkie Posts: 4,234 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    edited 8 August 2011 at 11:24PM
    DD1 is 20 and has ME - so I have no idea when she will be able to leave home. She is a joy to have around, though.

    DS is on a plane back from Malaga as i type - he's 19, and he'd love to move out - it's just the money that's stopping him....

    DD2 is 17 - it took 9 years to fully evict her from my bed ...so I'm not expecting her to move out any time soon....

    I've always loved having my kids around - I regularly go to the cinema with the girls - now they are adults we see much more interesting films.....

    Now they are older - I do appreciate my lie - ins though......

    Sad at them growing up? I don't think so, although i will be VERY glad to see the youngest through A levels next year....living through the kids doing exams was worse than doing my O levels in 1978!!!!!!!!!!!
    :jFlylady and proud of it:j
  • Savvy_Sue
    Savvy_Sue Posts: 47,328 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    NearlyHadEnough wrote: »
    Did anyone else out there go through feelings of loss when their kids grew up? And how do you deal with feelings of regret over something you can do absolutely nothing about?
    Yes, I have feelings of loss: I posted somewhere the other day that I'm a bit sad because DS1 has gone off to his new (rented) house, which is 100 miles away, which he probably thinks of as 'home' rather than here with me.

    And he lets me hug him when he goes now - he never used to, he would fight me off.

    But regret over things I can do absolutely nothing about? I refuse to dwell on such thoughts. I acknowledge them, sure, but there is no point dwelling ... think of something else!
    Signature removed for peace of mind
  • seven-day-weekend
    seven-day-weekend Posts: 36,755 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    edited 9 August 2011 at 5:56AM
    The older my son got, the better I liked it....I don't really enjoy doing things with small children.
    (AKA HRH_MUngo)
    Member #10 of £2 savers club
    Imagine someone holding forth on biology whose only knowledge of the subject is the Book of British Birds, and you have a rough idea of what it feels like to read Richard Dawkins on theology: Terry Eagleton
  • seven-day-weekend
    seven-day-weekend Posts: 36,755 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    zaksmum wrote: »
    Soooo...is it only me, then, who was quite happy to see the kids grow up and leave home so I could finally have a bit of peace??????

    No.....see my post above! And I don't particularly want grandchildren either. Just something else to worry about.
    (AKA HRH_MUngo)
    Member #10 of £2 savers club
    Imagine someone holding forth on biology whose only knowledge of the subject is the Book of British Birds, and you have a rough idea of what it feels like to read Richard Dawkins on theology: Terry Eagleton
This discussion has been closed.
★ ★ ★ Meet your Ambassadors

🚀 Getting Started

Hi new member!

Our Getting Started Guide will help you get the most out of the Forum

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 351K Banking & Borrowing
  • 253.1K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 453.6K Spending & Discounts
  • 244K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 598.9K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 176.9K Life & Family
  • 257.3K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 16.1K Discuss & Feedback
  • 37.6K Read-Only Boards

Is this how you want to be seen?

We see you are using a default avatar. It takes only a few seconds to pick a picture.
Update Your Picture