upset after wedding

sandyxrs

Hi Mary,
Firstly 16 is not Big at all...I am plus size 30. So I am going to look big in my photo's.
I know that this may not help but you are not fat or Ugly. everyone feels like that. God knows I do.
But at the end of the Day Honey you have got married, You can have a Blessing and do things different at a later date. this si what me and my Husband to be are doing. Getting married in october for Family. Then having a renew of vows on my 40th...
Just remember no matter what you think you looked like. You Husband looked into your eyes on your day and there was no one else he saw, But you.
I am sure he does not think anything that you think. Please don't be upset. i am sure the photo's look just fine. I don't like looking at photo's of myself.
Be Happy and think Yes we are Married, I was a beautiful Bride.

marywooyeah

BLUis wrote: »

I didnt want to read and run. I am a size 16 too. I hate having my picture taken because I feel that I will always look huge compared to my slim (younger too!!) friends.

But yesterday, I went to try on wedding dresses. I was the 'biggest' (and the oldest!!) one in the shop. All the other women in the shop were size 10 - 12 at the most.

Yes, this is how I feel a lot! as I am at uni literally all the girls are really slim and I always feel like the big fat friend! one of my BM's was the same as me but the other was very slim, so felt big next to her.

spoonymoose wrote: »

I was apprehensive about trying on wedding dresses, particularly any strapless as I hate my arms, however when I put on THE DRESS I felt fantastic and didn't care about my arms, when you put on your dress I bet all those little niggles went away and I bet you didn't think about them for one minute, I bet you felt fantastic (and you looked so beautiful in those photos btw, so natural.)

What you have to remember is that on that day, you were the most beautiful woman there and like others have said I bet you've homed in on your imperfections; it's what I do, people comment on lovely pictures of me and all I can say back is "but I look ugly there" or "I have a double chin."
I think you looked beautiful, and I'm a teacher so therefore I am right

Yes Miss! lol - yes this is how I felt, down to a T. I hate my arms, but when I got in that dress I felt truly beautiful. The only make up I wore was a strip of eyeliner on each eye not even any mascara - this is the same person who won't even go to the corner shop without perfectly coiffed hair! Its when I saw some of the photos that I thought "I was stupid to think I looked nice", some of the photos I did think I looked nice in, like people have said you could tell we were happy, but I am doing exactly what you have described eg yes I look happy, all my chins do too! Some of them are good though, so I think I'm just gonna have to delete the bad ones and keep the ok ones.

thanks again, I hope this thread will help others who feel apphrehensive about their appearance on their big day too xxx

spoonymoose

Glad to have helped Mary, I do truly love the natural picture of you, your hubby and your little one who wouldn't stay still, I think the natural pictures are the best as you hold yourself better, rather than being forced into a pose by a photographer.

Oh and when I moan about my photos, please feel free to slap me and reinforce what I said to you

(Oh and my sister is a size 24, and I saw her pics and was extremely jealous about how fabulous she looked and wondered how I could compare!)

RuthnJasper

marywooyeah wrote: »

I'm grateful for the replies, thankyou.
the photos on the july 2011 thread were done by our photographer - he was my cousin's hubby but is a professional photographer that was our wedding gift. At the time of the marriage I really did feel beautiful, but when I saw the ones my stepmum sent I actually cried - the difference between the two is astounding. It made me think "is that what I really looked like" and then felt stupid for th fact that I thought I had looked like at the time. She just has a normal camera, so I guess its probably not as flattering as the professional ones.

I lost 3 stone at WW 2 years ago, and I've crept back up since starting uni to putting 2 and a half stone back on, so feel disappointed in myself for getting big again. I know 16 is the national average, but I really am big I'm not imagining it! I guess I left it too late to really make any difference by only starting to eat healthily and exercise more a month before the wedding as I was concentrating on my exams.

I think I will just have to "pick and choose" the ones where I look ok and stick those in an album, and see it as an incentive to lose more, I've been enjoying the exercise a lot tbh.

thankyou again, I really appreciate it x

That's the spirit sweetie! The thing to keep in mind is that you felt (and, I'd bet my pension, LOOKED) gorgeous on the day. You have the rest of your life to diddle about with your weight (please steer clear of the gastric-band thingy though). The most important thing about your wedding is the promises you and your man made to each other.

If you STILL feel in need of a boost in a few months' time, why not save up for a few studio portraits (of just you OR all of your "new" little family) as a 'First Wedding Anniversary' present?

Keep smiling! xx

CashStrappedPrincess

Sorry I am a bit of a lurker but I just didn't want to run without saying how beautiful I think you looked on your photos. No matter how you think you looked the look on your husbands face full of admiration and love says a different story! Beautiful dress btw.

I really hope you manage to do whatever it takes to really believe in yourself as being a beautiful woman

aarchk

I am a size 16 and like you not a all confident about my wedding photos. However I have seen the one you posted on the thread and OMG you look lovely! I really think you have nothing to worry about. We are all bombarded with the glamorous images togs and magazines use to sell us the dream wedding and to be honest it doesnt happen like that. I have some photos which I hate because of the dreaded back fat but then there are some which I look at and think 'actually I am pretty and look slim'.

If its any consolation on another wedding forum there is a thread by a bride who is smaller than us who also has hangups about her wedding pics so it is completely natural.

Focus on the positives, I love the B&W one of you and your husband and son (who wont stay still). Hubby looks so proud. The pic is so pretty and natural and unsurprisingly you dont look fat at all. Lets face it if we had lost so much weight (I wanted to lose 2 stone and only lost a stone in the end), would our days have been any more lovely? we still would have had the compliments we received!

I would wait until you see the full set of pics. There are bound to be some you love and these ones you can put on display. I have 200 professional pics and I am in about 100 of these. Out of the 100 I am in - I love 10, am alright looking in about 80 and hate 10. Hope this puts a perspective on things for you.

marywooyeah

RuthnJasper wrote: »

(please steer clear of the gastric-band thingy though). The most important thing about your wedding is the promises you and your man made to each other.

My cousin has had one and so far has lost 89lb so I'm mega jealous and want one too! the whole time we were planning it I kept saying its the marriage that is important not the show of a wedding, I'm thrilled to be married to my soulmate - can't believe he'd even look twice at me let alone want to marry me!

[/QUOTE]If you STILL feel in need of a boost in a few months' time, why not save up for a few studio portraits (of just you OR all of your "new" little family) as a 'First Wedding Anniversary' present? [/QUOTE]

that's a wonderful idea thankyou I will keep that in mind

aarchk wrote: »

I would wait until you see the full set of pics. There are bound to be some you love and these ones you can put on display. I have 200 professional pics and I am in about 100 of these. Out of the 100 I am in - I love 10, am alright looking in about 80 and hate 10. Hope this puts a perspective on things for you.

thankyou, that does put it into perspective. I'm like that a lot - for every photo on my facebook page theres 10 that I've deleted!

xxx

donnap83

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

I'm usually quite a mean old fart but 16 is not 'very fat'. That is all.

Ditto. As someone who is larger than a 16, but would very much like to a 16 by the time i get married, I'm actually offended by the OP's opening comment.

MrsTinks

I am/was a size 16 too - only barely fitted in my dress as the shop had an issue with realising that when I said "no order it the size I am NOW because I WON'T loose weight!" I meant it... they had to move the back panel
I want to loose weight and ideally get to a size 12 - but not because of how I look - hell if I want pretty pictures I will get them edited like the famous people (I actually have a few pics that have been edited but the ones from my wedding day are "as I was"
I want to loose weight and get fitter because frankly I'm fed up with running out of wind after 2-3 flights of stairs!!! and if I could save some dosh by fitting back in some of my clothes I squirrelled away in the loft all the better!

continualdiamond

A size 16 is not 'very fat'.

I'm finally a size 16 after loosing 90.5 lbs so far & starting off my weight watchers journey as a size 26. I am over the moon that my wedding dress is a size 16 and I don't consider myself 'very fat' at all now. I am sure I will get some photos that friends/family take that won't have me looking my best but I will be reminding myself of how different I could of looked.

The photos that I have seen of you are lovely, you look really nice and as long as you enjoyed the day that is all that matters.