upset after wedding

RuthnJasper

marywooyeah wrote: »

I cut down on junk food loads and ate lots of fruit and veg and water and went to the gym working out hard 3 times a week, then 4 nights a week went for 3 mile walks and it was for nothing. I lost absolutely no weight, not even 1lb. I couldnt understand it.

Incidentally, the reason you probably didn't lose weight is that your body was building up muscle. Muscle is heavier than fat, so it may not reflect a true picture of weight lost when you're on the scales.

I still don't think you're fat though.

ThinkingOfLinking

I've seen your photos; you are NOT fat and I think you looked beautiful. Congratulations, by the way.

marywooyeah

I'm grateful for the replies, thankyou.
the photos on the july 2011 thread were done by our photographer - he was my cousin's hubby but is a professional photographer that was our wedding gift. At the time of the marriage I really did feel beautiful, but when I saw the ones my stepmum sent I actually cried - the difference between the two is astounding. It made me think "is that what I really looked like" and then felt stupid for th fact that I thought I had looked like at the time. She just has a normal camera, so I guess its probably not as flattering as the professional ones.

I lost 3 stone at WW 2 years ago, and I've crept back up since starting uni to putting 2 and a half stone back on, so feel disappointed in myself for getting big again. I know 16 is the national average, but I really am big I'm not imagining it! I guess I left it too late to really make any difference by only starting to eat healthily and exercise more a month before the wedding as I was concentrating on my exams.

I think I will just have to "pick and choose" the ones where I look ok and stick those in an album, and see it as an incentive to lose more, I've been enjoying the exercise a lot tbh.

thankyou again, I really appreciate it x

jojo2004

I've looked at your pics twice now, on the July 2011 thread. In both pics you look happy, as does your hubby. In neither pic did I look at any part of you and think 'oooh tubby'. I promise. I looked at your smile, the way you held your husband's hand, and your face (btw, you have ace cheekbones).

Have you thought of a cherish the dress photo shoot? That way you can wear it again, and have different pics taken to hopefully show you what we all see - that you are NOT FAT, that you ARE PRETTY and that you LOOK HAPPY!

Seriously, go easy on yourself. Exams are hard - so's wedding planning, AND you're a mum! You should be celebrating yourself, not criticising. No one's perfect, and frankly if you want to be, you're mental. And you'd be dull. Would a flatter stomach give you a happier marriage? Or a happier son? No. Do you look at your husband and pick the same holes? Do you look at your son that way? Then why do it to yourself?

I've been looking through a million pics of me trying wedding dresses - in some shots I have the world's largest double chin (honestly, there are small children trapped in there), in some I look dumpy, but in some I look pretty okay. I've deleted the rubbish ones! Why keep unhappy pics? Keep the ones that remind you how it felt to be you on your wedding day.

HTH xx

Mrsanders

I managed to get a quick look at your pics last night but didn't have time to reply at the time and can I just say I thought you looked absolutely stunning!!

You looked soooooo happy and obviously enjoyed yourself on the day.

The only thing I can suggest is maybe when you look at the pictures look at the overall picture and not focus on the parts you dislike about yourself, I too have parts of me I don't like and I'm sure everyone else does. When I first looked at some of my pictures I was just looking at all the things I didn't like but a little while ago I tried looking at them almost as though they weren't of me and looked at the overall picture and they looked amazing, I hope you understand what I mean (sorry if it just seems like I'm rambling! )

I also think you should be extremely proud of yourself and all your achievements, it's a hard enough job being a mum without everything else you are doing, I think you're amazing!

BLUis

I didnt want to read and run. I am a size 16 too. I hate having my picture taken because I feel that I will always look huge compared to my slim (younger too!!) friends.

But yesterday, I went to try on wedding dresses. I was the 'biggest' (and the oldest!!) one in the shop. All the other women in the shop were size 10 - 12 at the most. There were at least 20 women outside the changing rooms, all waiting to see their daughters/sisters/friends etc come out of the changing room. I looked at myself in the mirror and though, hell, you look like a beached whale. So I walked out of the changing room, expecting everyone to be hiding behind their hands, trying to stifle their laughter and what I ACTUALLY got, was you look amazing in that dress. Smiles and oohs and aaahhhs all around.

I looked again and saw what they were seeing. A woman, looking radiant, trying on a wedding dress. Yes, I was bigger than all the others that were trying on, but what the hell, I LOOKED GOOD!!!

What I am trying to say, in a roundabout way is that EVERYONE who saw you at your wedding will think that you looked amazing. Your pictures that I have seen are lovely, you have a beautiful smile and looked so happy when you were with your OH.

YOU will always see the worst in photos, because you know which bits of you you dont like, but everyone else will be thinking, she looked radiant, beautiful and stunning.

Hope you are feeling better about your photos now, and that you can start to remember how HAPPY you were on the day.

Take care

T

7roland8

Would just like to add I was sooo proud the dya of son's graduation - had pic taken with his arm round me and grinning like a fool (me that is!0.
Anyhow I love that pic - not because I came out great - too big a smile and toothy grin - but because of what I 'felt' when it was taken - and I was happy to send the pic to all and sundrey as I was so proud.

Debbiecatal

Since my last post I have looked at your pics, and what I said stands, you are radiantly happy, looking fabulous and the look on your husband's face says it all - he is the proudest man on the planet!

sophief333

First of all, I am a horrid person who will see a 'fat' person a judge them as lazy and generally consider myself as being a 'better person'. I'm very active and enjoy having a fit body, I struggle to understand how people can waste their lives living in a body that dose not allow them to live!

However size 16 is TOTALLY NORMAL! Also, having seen you pics you look BEAUTIFUL and a completely healthy weight! I wouldn't in anyway consider you 'fat', and as I say, I'm pretty harsh!

It sounds like you have been working hard and that's great! You don't have to be a size 8 to be fit, everyone is different and what is healthy for some may not be for others! Again, you looked amazing in your pics!:D

spoonymoose

Mary, on this site we're not all size zeros, some are sizes 8 or 10, whilst others are 16, 18 and so on. I'm not a the type of person to fall into the 8-10 category, not by a long while, my sister isn't either.

I was apprehensive about trying on wedding dresses, particularly any strapless as I hate my arms, however when I put on THE DRESS I felt fantastic and didn't care about my arms, when you put on your dress I bet all those little niggles went away and I bet you didn't think about them for one minute, I bet you felt fantastic (and you looked so beautiful in those photos btw, so natural.)

What you have to remember is that on that day, you were the most beautiful woman there and like others have said I bet you've homed in on your imperfections; it's what I do, people comment on lovely pictures of me and all I can say back is "but I look ugly there" or "I have a double chin."

Sometimes photographs are not the best reminder of a day, sometimes when memories are, and I bet everyone who saw you on that day knew that you looked stunning and I bet that your size 0 guests were gutted that they didn't look as amazing as you

Just remember, we ALL have out issues with out body, regardless of our size and sometimes people lose weight and are still unhappy.

I think you looked beautiful, and I'm a teacher so therefore I am right