Should the man always pay for the engagement ring?!

euronorris

I guess that depends on the cost of rings from other places.

Incidentally, Argos have some quite pricey rings. I'm sure other places have rings for similar prices as their higher priced ones, so would that be OK, or is it Argos itself you don't like? And if so, why?

Plans_all_plans

I personally wanted to know that the gold/diamond in the ring I was getting was ethically sourced from responsible mines and I wouldn't have accepted less.

I spoke to a number of high street jewellers and none of them could guarantee me this and the sales ataff seemed poorly equipped to answer my questions on this issue.

It is not just Argos I don't like, but any jeweller that can't give me the information I require in this area.

Ada_Doom

Plans_all_plans wrote: »

To be honest, there are no jobs that I know of in this country where after 6 months of saving, a single man with average outgoings could not afford a ring from anywhere other than Argos. A couple might decide they don't want to spend more than £90 on a ring, but that is different to actually not being able to afford it.

If a man's circumstances dictated that he could not afford other than Argos i.e he was in debt, he had other children etc, I would not have spent long enough with him to be marrying him.

As long as my husband is happy, I don't care if he's earning 12k or 60k.

Ok, so lets say your future husband earns 12k. How hard does he have to save and what does he have to give up to buy you the ring of your dreams? And why is an expensive ring so important, what does it symbolize for you? That he can save? That he loves you so much he does without to put a expensive piece of metal on your finger? How much is love worth in your book? Not a cheap ring from Argos, from your posts.

Person_one

Fly_Baby wrote: »

In that case, doesn't exchanging rings in marriage "reek" of the same thing? If it is so bad why get married at all?

Nope, exchanging rings on marriage has a different symbolism as long as both parties wear their rings. I'd have much less problem with engagement rings if they weren't completely one sided.

Marriage has been around a long time, and many of its traditions date from a time when women were second class citizens, that can change though and there's no reason to hang onto something merely because 'its traditional'!

shellsuit

Surely it's the symbol of the ring that means the most, not what stone, carat and metal it is?!

My husband chose mine and I love it (I think it cost £400?), but if he'd asked me to choose my own and there was a specific one I wanted yet he couldn't afford it, I wouldn't have hesitated to put my hand in my pocket!

If he'd proposed with a £20 fake jobby, I still would have been as pleased with it!

Person_one

onlyroz wrote: »

I might be a bit weird, but I HATE any form of jewellery on men and I won't let my husband wear a wedding ring (much as he would like to).

Won't 'let'? Hmm, bigger issues...;)

Ada_Doom

Ah, I see. The reason you want an expensive ring is for ethical reasons. Well I applaud that for sure. Might be worth getting a local jeweller to make one for you. Or, just get future husband to write you a poem, or paint you a picture to keep for ever. Or have your portrait tattooed on his back.....

euronorris

Plans_all_plans wrote: »

I personally wanted to know that the gold/diamond in the ring I was getting was ethically sourced from responsible mines and I wouldn't have accepted less.

I spoke to a number of high street jewellers and none of them could guarantee me this and the sales ataff seemed poorly equipped to answer my questions on this issue.

It is not just Argos I don't like, but any jeweller that can't give me the information I require in this area.

Which is a great reason IMO, but....doesn't this only leave you with the option of VERY expensive rings, which a guy on 12k probably couldn't afford?

Fly_Baby

Person_one wrote: »

Marriage has been around a long time, and many of its traditions date from a time when women were second class citizens, that can change though and there's no reason to hang onto something merely because 'its traditional'!

I don't think that you give beautiful rings to second class citizens - rather to those who you love and want to be with.

And people hang onto whatever they can relate to - such as formal proposals and engagement rings, in majority of cases.

Fly_Baby

shellsuit wrote: »

Surely it's the symbol of the ring that means the most, not what stone, carat and metal it is?!

My husband chose mine and I love it (I think it cost £400?), but if he'd asked me to choose my own and there was a specific one I wanted yet he couldn't afford it, I wouldn't have hesitated to put my hand in my pocket!

If he'd proposed with a £20 fake jobby, I still would have been as pleased with it!

I wouldn't it. But then to each their own, no offence.