Should the man always pay for the engagement ring?!

MoneySavingMouse

I earn a tiny bit more than my boyfriend and I have more savings available to me. We chose a (not outrageously expensive) ring together last year but now my boyfriend can't afford it (change in job). Why shouldn't I pay towards it? It just seems to go against convention! But we split everything else!

euronorris

If you're happy to pay towards it, I don't see a problem.

Person_one

Engagement rings are sexist anyway, don't bother and save yourself the money for something more useful!

barbiedoll

There's no reason why you shouldn't help your boyfriend to pay for your ring. You could always pay one or two of his bills so that he has the spare cash to pay for the ring. But you sound as though you split things fairly anyway so even if he did pay for the ring himself, you would be paying for other things such as a holiday, a car repair bill, etc etc.

Does he feel ok about it? As long as he gets to present it to you, I don't think it matters who actually pays for it.

Congratulations by the way! :T

balletshoes

as you're the one who will benefit from having the sparkly ring, I see no problem at all with you contributing to it - half of it would be fair I think.

Kimmilew

congratulations!

people arent going to be asking you 'who paid for it?'. if he's okay with it, go for it!
My now husband refused any help off me. some guys are too proud. if he is, just help him out with some bills. or get one he can afford, no matter how cheap! my mum and dad struggled but my dad was determined to get my mum a ring. he got one from a second hand jeweler (i guess argos would be where to go these days) and saved a little each month and surprised my mum with the one he had had his eye on when my sister was born.

lolseh

Why not? Your the one that will be wearing it so if you still want a ring at that price then I don't see why you shouldn't help out if you can afford it.

I'm the type of person who would be happy with a costume ring right enough

busiscoming2

First time around I paid for all my engagement ring.

Jinx

Do what makes you happy...... who else would ever know unless you tell them?

scooby088

Don't get me wrong i have purchased a engagement ring and quite a pricey one too, now I am rather cynical to the whole getting married and engaged thing, why not if you want one buy it yourself. In my experience of splitting my fiance the ring caused a lot of fuss and i did get it back eventually after we agreed if we ever split i would get it back.

JodyBPM

I think I would want my fiance to make the effort to save up for my engagement ring. I think I'm worth the effort of saving for! However, that assumes that the chosen ring is reasonably enough priced to be sensibly saved for! In theory, I don't really see any problem with splitting the costs of a ring, but personally I'd rather a cheaper ring that my fiance had made an effort to save for, than a more expensive one that I'd bought myself or partially myself.

I must say, I find the idea of discussing and picking out an engagement ring a year before he'd even popped the question a bit odd, though!