To alll marrieds (smug or otherwise)

marywooyeah

I'm female, 24 and got married saturday just gone (16th July)!!!!!

I was with my first boyfriend and engaged to him from 15 until just before I turned 18, so just over 2 and a half years. He cheated on me with 3 women, was violent and just generally mean.

Got with my ex soon after my 18th birthday, moved in with him and we were together for a year and a half - the worst time of my whole life. He bullied and tricked me into a termination, we were violent to each other and in the end I ended up living on a mate's sofa and working 2 jobs to save up enough to leave. He broke up with me, didnt contact me for 10 days then rang up crying begging me to go back.
In those ten days, the longer passed without contact I realised that I didnt care - that I wasn't sat there with the phone waiting for him to call. Someone made a joke at work and I laughed so hard I cried - and realised it was the first time in ages I felt happy - so when he called me I said "oh I thought you never wanted to see my ugly face again? well now you won't have to!" and put the phone down on him.

met DH shortly after and were seeing each other casually for around 6 months, then he asked if I wanted a relationship with him which I did very much. So we have been together almost 5 years from seeing each other, and 4 and a half from the "official date".
I know we will be happily married for the rest of our lives

Threebabes

No serious relationships before for either of us. We are 38.

Worked together, knew him about a year before we started going out, been together 18 yrs married 14 yrs now.

1echidna

No serious relationships before I met OH, both aged 21. Just about given up hope of persuading her to marry me when she agreed and we got married at 25.

Caroline73_2

My first long term boyfriend was at 19, for about 18 months. It wasn't very serious but we just had a laugh together. I finished with him because I felt we could carry on for years and we wanted different things. I've seen him about over the years as we still know the mutual friend that introduced us.

At 21 I met my first husband. Got married at 23, DS1 born the next year. Split up when I was 29.

Met next and final husband just 6 weeks after leaving ex. I wasn't looking for a relationship, he was just a bit of fun. He only wanted the same, he was honest about not wanting a relationship with someone with a child. He'd only had one long term relationship before.

About 8 months into our bit of fun relationship I was taken in hospital, unable to walk with no diagnosis. This was a turning point and we realised we were in love etc. Been together nearly nine years now and have a 5 year old.

vroombroom

28, had 2 serious relationships before OH (we've be together almost 18 months) - one was 2 years, one was 4 years and we bought a house together.

Still waiting for OH to present me with a ring:D (although next year is a leap year)

lostinrates

Caroline73 wrote: »

.

About 8 months into our bit of fun relationship I was taken in hospital, unable to walk with no diagnosis. This was a turning point and we realised we were in love etc.

Scarily like my relationship with my DH. Illness focuses the mind. We lived together very quickly and though I wasn't well when we married we were both convinced we wanted him as my next of kin officially so he was able to make decisions when I couldn't.

edit: in fact, its quite funny I pointed out the nature of how OP phrased the question in a previous post, because I quite literally wouldn't have lived with out dh, so perhaps I should be a little more humble!

Bunny

I'm a girl 27 years old, been married for almost 2 years (together for 5 years prior)
but before that 2 other quite serious ones, one for over 2 years and the other was on and off for almost 1-2 years

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

1. when 16 until 20, ended up having DD1 and splitting up when finally had enough of unreasonable spending, violence, pretence of being politically correct, claims of me not being a mother because I dared to need a caesarian section, had to deal with him constantly lying, spreading rumours, trying to get people on his 'side' all the time, passive aggression in public, outright aggression in private. So glad when DD hit 18 as never have to speak with him again unless by choice. Will want to be invited to his funeral so that I can bring my dancing shoes out.

2. when 21, he was younger (19), very gorgeous, very confused, a complete sucker for female attention and completely untrustworthy. I know he truly loved me and I him, but that and a lack of violence wasn't enough. Broke up when 25, he went a bit loopy, stalking, funny messages, etc. He is now a serial cheat with at least 3 permanent supposedly exclusive relationships going on at the same time. Still comes back to me everytime he is feeling low. Well, he did until I moved - without telling him because he sent messages suggesting that he was watching the house at night.

3. DD2's father. Was a rebound thing. 5 years on and off, was put on a pedestal and then unceremoniously taken apart because I dared to be human and not fulfill his preconceived ideas of his own importance. Oh, and it was my first experience of someone developing a drink problem when he left us without a single penny and I had to sell my Fender and amp to feed us, much to his amusement. He left when I dared him to have a go when he picked me up by the throat. Think he realised I wasn't actually that scared of him anymore. Apparently, he went to a meek and mild little blonde with a complete victim mentality - and a house left to her by her mother, thus relieving him of the need to not spend all his income on booze and drugs. She treats him like royalty. More fool her.

4. The most recent. Met after a protracted period of singledom, friend's brother. Very sweet, kind, funny, smart and cute. Also drives me to distraction at times, but is capable of both repairing a washing machine and using the thing. A bit OCD in things and needs someone to tell him to get a grip occasionally, as he is one of life's fussbudgets. End up on verge of killing one another when spending too much time together, but manage quite happily when not actually living together. Seven years thus far.

Oh, and unlike the others, he is 100% behind my love for live music and isn't threatened (or doesn't show it) by the fact that I actually go out and play, talk to mostly men - not many women in the back row onstage - and have a great time doing something I love.



I'm 38 now. The odds on someone loving me enough to want to marry me is fairly low nowdays. Even lower when you take into account that I wouldn't want to be expected to give up the music.

lostinrates

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

I'm 38 now. The odds on someone loving me enough to want to marry me is fairly low nowdays. Even lower when you take into account that I wouldn't want to be expected to give up the music.

My parents hadn't even met when my mother was your age. Plenty of time IMO.

MRSTITTLEMOUSE

I met my husband when I'd just turned 16,he was 20 we got married within months.
That was 40 years ago and we're still just as happy.
Neither of us had had any significant relationships before we met.