Horace's Biting the Bullet Diary

Horace

Hooray - I have managed to pay off some of my business bank overdraft this will now which means that I will no longer be charged £20 for going over my overdraft limit:j I am still overdrawn but now within the agreed limits. i paid some of my ebay money into my personal account but the majority went into the business one (I had to withdraw from my personal account to pay for postage on my ebay items so I replaced the money). I need to relist my ebay items too and I may add some more (as yet undecided). It is a step in the right direction.:j

Aesop

well done hun, sounds like a positive day

GreyhoundAngel

Thats a good result Mrs H - and as you say, very definatley moving in the right direction :T

Angel xxx

Horace

Thanks Aesop - I shall get photographing and listing this weekend:cool:

I had a meeting with my counsellor today, I think I might knock the sessions on the head because I don't feel as though I am getting anything out of them and come out feeling worse than when I went in:( I feel as though it is a parent child relationship where I am the child and this is something that I want to get away from. She reminds me a bit of my aunt who has always been disapproving so my feeling of inadequacy are compounded:mad:

I have been rejigging my CV again today - it now gets a tweak for every single job I apply for.

Aesop

aw hun, sorry to hear about the counsellor.

it is rotten, but there are some bad counsellors out there.

My DH was seeing someone who was so supportive the first time but so dismissive the second time, he gave up.

Well done on your CV.

MatyMoo

It's good to tweak your cv!

I was told that you should change it for each job application you do, to make the cv fit the relevant experience required and play down the bits that aren't so relevant.

And :j to free listing weekends :T

Horace

I get better advice from Millie - at least I don't feel inadequate talking to her:D

Anyway, I will speak to the doc on Monday afternoon about changing counsellors because I am seeing him about my ears. I have double booked myself for Wednesday as I am supposed to be going to something in the city centre but can't be bothered to sit and be talked at so instead I am meeting a friend for coffee and we shall be talking Forever aloe products.

I am forever tweaking my CV - I havent even mentioned my unemployment this time around as it is a 2 day a week job, it just means I have to dust off my wedding planning stuff and get my head around weddings (not sure if I am enthused about them or not although I do get enthused about a friend's wedding dress designing business).:D

I played with Pot again yesterday - adding to the old sausage casserole mix - sausages,pasta and peas so I had casserole again for dinner last night and a portion has now gone in the freezer. Pot was a good buy and he and Mosky will get lots of use.:D

Horace

Got up early this morning to watch the Wales v France rugby match and ended up screaming that the tv, groaning and cursing all at once.:mad: Mind you the ref was biaised as he is half French and whereas other such tackles have been rewarded with a yellow card in other world cup matches the issuing of the red one was unnecessarily harsh.

Set about sorting wedding stuff out to be photographed and part way through photographing it the camera batteries died so I am waiting for them to recharge and then I can carry on..I have realised that size 18 items do not sit on hangers that are suitable for size 10/12 (I happen to have some size 18 stuff in the boxes). Most of the stuff is pretty decent although I have noticed that one bodice has some embroidery missing from the straps but even if I get a fiver for it I will be happy.

Today has also been a fridge foraging day and I managed to find 2 carrots, an onion, and some very old tomatoes (not mouldy either) so these have gone into Pot with a beef stockpot blob (melted in boiling water), herbs, worcester sauce, black pepper and a squidge of tomato puree - a handful of pearl barley was added later and it is all stewing away nicely. I admit to dipping a spoon in and it tastes rather nice.

Feeling grumpy today not only because we Welsh were robbed in the rugby but also the fact that my hard work on this charity auction will come to nought as only 7 people have booked to attend on Tuesday night - I am dreading it being cancelled and my having to contact all those that have given me auction lots (I acquired 98% of them).

Millie2008_2

Speaking of Millie (haha), sorry have been AWOL and sorry to hear that you haven't been getting on that well with your counsellor. Do you feel that you could address this with her? While (IMHO) power balance is v important in a counselling relationship (there is always some imbalance as *we* are supposidly the ones with the training, etc, but I always try to minimise this) power imbalances can tell us lots. What happens in the room, with a good counsellor, tends to mirror relationships elsewhere (google transferance) and how things play out in the counselling relationship can teach us lots about ourselves and how we relate to others. A sense of discomfort can sometimes be a good thing IF the counsellor is skilled enough to work with it and explore it.

If she'd have picked up on your feeling, she might have said "I am sensing that we often assume the roles of parent- child and I am wondering whether this happens in other relationships in your life" Or similar- at least that's what I would do.

All that said, if things really don't feel right and you don't feel you can keep working with her, it might be better to call it a day. I have people come to see me once or twice, then never again- in an ideal world, everyone would be able to afford private therapy and only work with someone they feel a good enough *fit* with - yet seeing therapists in the NHS means that people don't have this choice. Maybe when your business takes off and the time is right, you might want to see someone privately?

Enough psychobabble from me, but it is good to hear that you are battling on! I appear to have shingles (joy) so have become a bit of a hermit (boo).

Love xx

scaredy_cat

Horace wrote: »

Thanks Aesop - I shall get photographing and listing this weekend:cool:

I had a meeting with my counsellor today, I think I might knock the sessions on the head because I don't feel as though I am getting anything out of them and come out feeling worse than when I went in:( I feel as though it is a parent child relationship where I am the child and this is something that I want to get away from. She reminds me a bit of my aunt who has always been disapproving so my feeling of inadequacy are compounded:mad:

I have been rejigging my CV again today - it now gets a tweak for every single job I apply for.

take that feeling to your counsellor - there might be something in that feeling. Tell her how you felt after the session - be honest with her.