Nice people thread part 4 - sugar and spice and all things

LydiaJ

Funeral today.

Mostly it went well, apart from the orders of service. Apparently the vicar thought my dad was emailing the final document to the undertaker for printing, my dad thought the vicar was printing them, and the undertaker thought my dad and the vicar had it covered between them. So there we were, late for the start of the service, folding orders of service as fast as a very slow photocopier could print them. Eldest bro's tribute to Mum was awesome, and somebody said they thought I had a nice voice for doing the Bible reading, so that was OK.

Saw lots of cousins and remembered who all of them were except one. Covered myself in embarrassment by asking her how she fitted into the family, only to be told she was one of my full cousins (I have half ones too) and the younger sister of the cousin I was talking to. My excuse is that I haven't seen her more than once or twice in the last 25 years, and she's naturally blonde but had dyed her hair brown. Had a nice chat with her once the confusion was cleared up, anyway.

I held it together pretty well all day until I started reading the cards on the flowers right at the end when we were packing up after the reception. My dad had begun his "Goodbye Darling..." and I lost it.

After we'd packed everyone off in their cars or lifts to the airport or wherever, youngest bro & I went back to my parents' house with my dad and my kids, had a cup of tea and offered my dad a choice between a take-away or eating out. He picked eating out, so we went to a Harvester with nice food but the slowest service I've experienced in years. Fortunately we were all too tired to care much how long it took. Youngest bro is staying with dad tonight, while I've come home with kids. I'm to go back tomorrow while kids are at school. Youngest bro is staying until Saturday morning. The kids and I will spend as much time with dad as he needs over the next week or so, and then he's coming to us for Christmas (exact dates not decided yet) and youngest bro for New Year.

Since he's lived in the same place for the last 52 years and has always been a sociable sort of chap, he has lots of local friends, who seem to be stepping up to the plate to make sure he doesn't get isolated. One of them took him out to a wine tasting last Saturday, which he enjoyed, and then back home for a little private whisky tasting, which he enjoyed too!

Thought of Sue today when I got a Christmas news email from a friend who says "A combination of autism, puberty, loneliness and his father leaving has driven eldest son into frequent violent meltdowns where he has needed restraining for hours at a time..." Feel angry on behalf of all autistic children whose dads opt out, and their mums, who get left doing it all on their own. :mad:

PasturesNew

Our OoS was easy, although a little short on time to guarantee it'd be done. Picked two songs.
No family, apart from us.
No readings.
None of us wrote a card out.
Only one bunch of flowers - old's request. Charity donations for the rest.

That's what happens when you do the organising and have no idea what you're doing

Couple of neighbours and a couple of the old's mates turned up.
It was all over pretty quick, then everybody left.
Nobody came back to the house, although we'd got stuff in in case they did.

It was all bizarre.

40 mile round trip too as the old had voiced a preference for the final event, based solely on having been there once before and having no idea of other places/options.

It's weird when one's gone ..... nothing makes sense does it.

My other old's still in the H.

tomterm8

It's snowing

:eek::(

lostinrates

icing sugar dusting up on the big hill this morning, none down here. Troughs not frozen, the ground soft and squishy.....I'd like some nice hard frosts now please!

lostinrates

michaels wrote: »

Rumour is that there may be some whitestuff around tomorrow in the S - I hope LIR got the Lanfy fixed.

as the car sticker might say: my other car is also a landrover. the defender is still in the barn unfixed, rotting...would make an excellent project for a teen if only we had one. we bought a freelander which has heating:j:j. but isn't as good in any other way as the defender.

lostinrates

Lydiaj...be careful with all the driving in the weather, I hear on the news its not good up your way....and having driven those roads I know how it gets up there in winter!

I'm glad,despite the circumstances, that your brother and father are spending christmas with you. adult company who all love each other, and great for the kids too.

lemonjelly

fc123 wrote: »

My dorset based friend lived in NYC for a while back in the 80's(2 years I think, can't recall how the employment status worked then, maybe she overstayed her visa). She liked the buzz but found she was working all hours as a waitress to pay the rent etc and came back as she felt she wasn't 'living' the NY life any longer as it became a drudge just to get by.

I have never been to USA ever but we are presenting to a 'jury' (their word) to show at a trade fair in Feb. The cost is insane but if we get the 'yay' then we'll go for 8 days (using up 4 for the event). Fingers crossed.
Actually, between me and the NP's I want this really really badly as it sends us into a more..um... refined direction and one that I feel more comfortable trading within. No more battery fashion yay:j

Took 8 months of 'heated debate' with OH and he has finally agreed with son, daughter and myself in the end.......we all wanted to concentrate on 'Free Range' with a smattering of 'organic'.

We always have to agree 100% on any changes or routes we take in the business, sometimes we all agree in 5 mins, others take a year.

Good Luck!:T

LydiaJ

lostinrates wrote: »

Lydiaj...be careful with all the driving in the weather, I hear on the news its not good up your way....and having driven those roads I know how it gets up there in winter!

I'm glad,despite the circumstances, that your brother and father are spending christmas with you. adult company who all love each other, and great for the kids too.

Thanks lir. There is snow just beginning to settle on the hills, but further down where I live it's pretty sleety and not settling at all. I think I'm going to play it safe and go a different way to the motorway - more traffic but without the big hills on single carriageway 50 or 60 mph roads. I wouldn't say I'm too tired to be safe to drive, but I wouldn't say I'm at the peak of my driving ability either.

lemonjelly

We had a sprinkling of snow last night. Settled on grass etc, but not on the roads.
Woke up this morning to a snow free environment (even though it had been forecast to snow a fair bit overnight).
It's trying to snow now, but I don't think it'll stick...or at least I hope it waits til after my journey home to stick.

lostinrates

fc123 wrote: »

She shopped with us once and OH didn't recognise her as she quietly queued for the changing room (another custoner flagged her up). Didn't seem to mind waiting and I think she bought whatever it was without asking for sleb discount. She owned a gorgeous flat on the front for a while some years back.

that's good. at HFH she seemed to have ''previous'' (the ladies on the till were fairly meek and quiet generally, and took all sorts of dscourtesy from shoppers I saw in my time there, )so maybe she saves her ire for people there. hopefully though she'sjust grown up