Nice people thread part 4 - sugar and spice and all things

LydiaJ

PasturesNew wrote: »

I'm useless really.

You are not useless!

PasturesNew wrote: »

If I hadn't been here, the olds would have been foraging through last week's bins for green/stale bread by now.

Case in point.

PasturesNew

I think everybody assumes that everybody's tapped into the system, knows there is one/what there is, has it ... we've always been outside of the system. Parents live frugally, adjusting their lives as necessary, just bumbling along with their war spirit, the way they know how. And suddenly... bang.

If they'd been getting help/claiming anything to date, they'd be in the system and have somebody to call that'd do something. I guess most people assume that two octogenarians would have all this already. I took the well old to the GP yesterday, I explained the whole situation and the specific thing we needed help with yesterday (sleeping tablets for the well old) and the GP asked "are you getting help?" and I said "No, I've made the first phone call and am waiting"... and she couldn't offer any further help/suggestions. She heard I'd made the call ... end of enquiry. Same with the M People.... I said "I called them after you left last week ... we're waiting to hear..." so from the M People's perspective it's job done too. The ill old's specific GP I called out last week and they said "there's nothing we can do except make you comfortable, eat/drink what you want". There's nobody that turns up and goes through anything/everything... tomorrow is the very first time the well old and I are even going to the Hospital with the ill old... and if the ill old is too ill to attend I am still going .... although their GP said last week "if you're not up to going, just forget it..." which sounds pretty 'imminent' to me.... so what.... I wake up and the old is dead in bed..? Is that it?

vivatifosi

PasturesNew wrote: »

I don't even know where any help groups/charities would be... no idea where to start. No clue whatsoever... I'm useless really.

Lydia is 100% right, you are not useless.

I hope you don't mind me sticking my oar in, but I've found and been on the phone to an advocacy organisation in Cornwall and spoken to them about your situation.

They emphasised the importance of not just your parents but getting you support too Pastures, so please don't think you are alone.

I've PM'd you their details. If you are interested, please give them a call or drop them an e-mail as I know that they will do what they can to help too.

lostinrates

Viva is brilliant.

PN, are you reminding the professionals involved that while you are extremely ''on the ball'' you are ''speshul'' and that giving you timelines of things that are controlable, like contact points with various people on dates would help YOU help them/olds?

They might not be able to comply but they might be forgetting/unaware of the situation.

PasturesNew

I phoned viva's contact, on the phone for 22 minutes.... she will be phoning the Adult SS to see if she can find out where we are in that system, as well as trying to contact another group at the Hospital that help speshul people understand what's being said.... with all 3 of us out with the fairies we'd struggle to understand what the nurses/Doctors were saying/meant. Awaiting a call back after that.

Thank you viva.... I hope the woman didn't think I was too much of a loony I did try to be clear and concise.

lostinrates

ON, I'm sure you were great...you've told her and she's finding...good outcome from this stage!

PasturesNew

lostinrates wrote: »

PN, are you reminding the professionals involved that while you are extremely ''on the ball'' you are ''speshul'' and that giving you timelines of things that are controlable, like contact points with various people on dates would help YOU help them/olds?

They might not be able to comply but they might be forgetting/unaware of the situation.

I hide my speshulness ... one of the reasons is I never get to speak to people alone/out of earshot ... and the olds don't know about speshulness. It's a different generation, so I've never mentioned it to them (even though one of them is speshul, they've no idea they are!).

As for the second half of your posting .." giving ... timelines ..." etc I don't really understand what you mean. The only Pro I've met so far is the M People and the old was in the room .... it felt rude to ask "how long..." and I believe they don't tell you. I was hoping that tomorrow the question might be nailed a little bit more.

vivatifosi

Pastures, I'm really pleased for you. I hope things work as they should now.

PasturesNew

It's so hot here today .... overpoweringly, stiflingly hot, hot, hot.

LydiaJ

PasturesNew wrote: »

I hide my speshulness ... one of the reasons is I never get to speak to people alone/out of earshot ... and the olds don't know about speshulness. It's a different generation, so I've never mentioned it to them (even though one of them is speshul, they've no idea they are!).

As for the second half of your posting .." giving ... timelines ..." etc I don't really understand what you mean. The only Pro I've met so far is the M People and the old was in the room .... it felt rude to ask "how long..." and I believe they don't tell you. I was hoping that tomorrow the question might be nailed a little bit more.

Sometimes they are cagey about committing themselve to a specific timescale because C can be very hard to predict, but the days are long gone when they didn't tell you what they thought because it was considered better for you not to know. I do take your point about not wanting to say things in front of the ill old that will make him feel you are looking forward to getting rid of him, but "how long?" is a question that all the medical people are used to being asked in such cases, and are used to answering, even if they can't always be precise.