Nice people thread part 4 - sugar and spice and all things

sss555s

michaels wrote: »

He is so smooth :rotfl:

Not really, considering i normally find 40-60 the most interesting aged people.

The good thing about TNPT is we are a bunch of people from different backgrounds in different situations that probably know more about each other than our neighbours do. LIR being around 32 is probably the [STRIKE]baby[/STRIKE] youngest regular meaning were all a pretty mature bunch too. :A

lemonjelly wrote: »

I'm 37 (:eek: still getting used to it!).
I don't own.
Been saving for years for a decent deposit. Got a decent one I continue adding to.

Waiting to take the plunge. One part of me does feel the housing market is likely to slip further.

I had you down as younger than that.

Remember houses need to drop by the amount of your rent for you to remain even.

lostinrates wrote: »

LJ isn't playing ball...or well, maybe he is, because nothings happening with women. Or if LJ were closer I could strong arm him into being my [plus one while dh is away, and do some icebreaking.

Sounds a good offer if LJ was looking for a woman, i dunno, maybe he's scared of big dog!

chewmylegoff

GDB2222 wrote: »

Unfortunately, at some point the boss has to manage his staff. They don't teach that at law school, and he may just be incompetent at staff management, rather than totally incompetent all round.

aint this the truth. same in accountancy - and i presume all professional services to some extent - you get promoted into senior positions by a combination of (i) technical ability and (ii) ability to win new clients. neither of these things mean you will be a good people manager, and there is often no real training provided by your firm. i am at a stage where at the moment i have no real responsibility to manage other staff. the next step up, which i am being encouraged to take, involves managing a case team of about 10 lawyers and accountants. i am seriously worried about my ability to do it, to the point that i have already turned down two opportunities and asked for some structured training before i get there. other people, of course, just do it anyway because it pays more, and then turn out to be horrendous people managers that make everyone's lives a misery.

vivatifosi

chewmylegoff wrote: »

aint this the truth. same in accountancy - and i presume all professional services to some extent - you get promoted into senior positions by a combination of (i) technical ability and (ii) ability to win new clients. neither of these things mean you will be a good people manager, and there is often no real training provided by your firm. i am at a stage where at the moment i have no real responsibility to manage other staff. the next step up, which i am being encouraged to take, involves managing a case team of about 10 lawyers and accountants. i am seriously worried about my ability to do it, to the point that i have already turned down two opportunities and asked for some structured training before i get there. other people, of course, just do it anyway because it pays more, and then turn out to be horrendous people managers that make everyone's lives a misery.

The fact that you are even questioning your ability and looking at structured training suggests that you'd be far better at it than some in senior posts. Good luck. I hate managing people. I'm not bad at it, just don't like the responsibility.

lostinrates

sss555s wrote: »

. LIR being around 32 is probably the [STRIKE]baby[/STRIKE] youngest regular meaning were all a pretty mature bunch too. :A

There are two NP that I can think of who I believe to be younger than me. One of them reads more than posts and one is absent atm.

lostinrates

chewmylegoff wrote: »

, to the point that i have already turned down two opportunities and asked for some structured training before i get there. other people, of course, just do it anyway because it pays more, and then turn out to be horrendous people managers that make everyone's lives a misery.

Have your requests been heeded? I think its interesting in places of employment where great emphasis is made in getting the right people, people with the right skills ripe for develop that employers then fail to offer the tools to develop these skills.

I agree with viva, that you see the responsibility is a huge part of it.

The other bad type of boss is the one who tries too hard to be ''nice'' then has tetchy panics at deadlines they haven't been clear about.

lemonjelly

lostinrates wrote: »

:j:j:j:j:j

even if its just a date and not a relationship potential for LJ then at least it breaks the stasis of NOT dating.

LJ, have you considered interent dating? I know it doesn't sound that romantic but I know a couple of people now who have met thaway and seem pretty happy, and hey...its worked for us lot to become internet buddies, and thats a positive sign,

Don't like the idea of internet dating. There is too much of the commodification of people and relationships. There is also a chapter in Predictably Irrational which I can't recall the detail of right now, but overwhelmingly highlights how internet dating is doomed to failure.

lostinrates

lemonjelly wrote: »

Don't like the idea of internet dating. There is too much of the commodification of people and relationships. There is also a chapter in Predictably Irrational which I can't recall the detail of right now, but overwhelmingly highlights how internet dating is doomed to failure.

dh's aunt and husband met on some kind of precurser to the internet...(and something to do with being jewish) and are very happy still I think. Three kids...one lived with us when interning in UK, now all in late twenties. That's not failure!

And also have a few friend sour age who met that way (one gay couple the others all straight). Maybe too early to tell...think the longest of those realtionships is about six years....


but fair enough....so long as you do SOMETHING ELSE proactive instead of sitting and waiting for love to find you without you making an effort....if you want it that is, there is no law to say we all need other people/other person in our lives. But hate to see people who want a partner not doing anything about it...even changing the route to work or what you do one night a week on a regular basis could lead to a chance meeting of someone.


edit: especially people like YOU LEMONJELLY, who don't have to work it in around childcare.

I hope thats inspiring, not intimidating....

lemonjelly

sss555s wrote: »

Not really, considering i normally find 40-60 the most interesting aged people.

The good thing about TNPT is we are a bunch of people from different backgrounds in different situations that probably know more about each other than our neighbours do. LIR being around 32 is probably the [STRIKE]baby[/STRIKE] youngest regular meaning were all a pretty mature bunch too. :A

Bizarrely, I think we do know each other better than, lets say neighbours and the like. We've had virtual tours of houses, assisted with plans, supported career decisions & moves, and generally been shoulders to cry on. We've gone through footy matches & F1 races together. We've bantered, debated & discussed. We've let skeletons out of closets. Some have developed businesses. We've taught each other a lot of stuff. I've done none of the above with neighborus.

And yet we still don't know each others real names!:o

sss555s wrote: »

I had you down as younger than that.

Remember houses need to drop by the amount of your rent for you to remain even.
...
Sounds a good offer if LJ was looking for a woman, i dunno, maybe he's scared of big dog!

Ah, but how much is my rent?;)

Good offer? It's the best. Distance is the only preventative issue, although perhaps on a quiet weekend we could wangle something...if LIR were ever that desperate.

GDB2222

lostinrates wrote: »

n'uhuh. Hard to explain without giving too much away. This is slightly economic with the truth in order to make it anonymus enough but he wasn't on either side, he was the decision maker. His word on this IS law...atm

He's counsel then?

GDB2222

vivatifosi wrote: »

The fact that you are even questioning your ability and looking at structured training suggests that you'd be far better at it than some in senior posts. Good luck. I hate managing people. I'm not bad at it, just don't like the responsibility.

I was also thinking that chew's doubts and wish to be trained were very good omens.

I closed down my firm and sold the business, principally because I was totally fed up with managing the people. And I was aware that I was [STRIKE]not very good[/STRIKE] pretty awful at it.