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Nice people thread part 4 - sugar and spice and all things
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PasturesNew wrote: »So do I. The old seems to be saying they want a little warden place... trouble is, you can't simply rent one. You can either buy one, or wait/bid for a council one, which could take 2-3 years. Even getting on the list to be able to bid takes 4 weeks ... must be nearly that since I filled in the form online though, but it'd still take a lot of waiting/bidding. As for buying .... not really an option as there are only a few and we don't think the old will like that either. Those that are for sale have been on for 2-3 years, so I know they're a tough re-sale too... two weeks in one of those followed by an "I hate it, get me out" statement could cost £50k
On the other hand, isn't the money from the sale of the present house hers to deal with? If she wants to spend it that way, is it legal to stop her?No reliance should be placed on the above! Absolutely none, do you hear?0 -
LIR I would always prioritise spending time with my DW and DKs over anything else.
We have had miss, DD1, DD2, missed miss and then DS - I am not sure what the odds of miss and missed miss are but they are fairly high so even 5 may just be statistical variation - sorry I know that probably doesn't bring much comfort but it is the flip-side of people winning the lottery.I think....0 -
It was such a lovely day that I went for a 5 mile walk on Hampstead Heath. Gorgeous. Two guys came up to me and asked for directions to the men-only swimming pond. I explained how to get there, and as they did not have swimming trunks or a towel with them, I added "Hope you have a good time".
No reliance should be placed on the above! Absolutely none, do you hear?0 -
LIR I would always prioritise spending time with my DW and DKs over anything else.
emotionally, I want to agree with you: practically, I think dh and I perhaps need to go with this one and wait the extra days. I have let down friends a lot since being ill and its not good to be unreliable. Have to admit finding it a tough one, but strongly agree that the right thing to do is stand by plans made.
He's hoping veyr much that when he comes home the weekend to spend two extra days here. (its the week of the next essential Italy two days, so now I'm regreting not going to that a little too.) so plan is to go to italy come home fpor long weekend, then me out there the next week. by then we might have more idea how long the secondment is going to be and he should be ''getting the hang'' of Brussels living and be able to show me around a bit 0 -
It was such a lovely day that I went for a 5 mile walk on Hampstead Heath. Gorgeous. Two guys came up to me and asked for directions to the men-only swimming pond. I explained how to get there, and as they did not have swimming trunks or a towel with them, I added "Hope you have a good time".
you can nude swim there, can't you (I'm thinking you can, or at least I think I did at Hampstead...not with the boys though
) and on a day like today, who needs a towel? 0 -
On the other hand, isn't the money from the sale of the present house hers to deal with? If she wants to spend it that way, is it legal to stop her?
I suspect Pastures's old wouldn't be capable of buying a property without a lot of help from Pastures. Actually I suspect she wouldn't have the first idea where to start, and if a property were to be purchased for her, it would be Pastures doing almost all of what it takes to make it happen. Remember, this is a woman who has swung from "I hate it - come and get me" to "This is fab and the food is free" and back again in the space of a few days. I don't think there's anything illegal about not doing something that would probably lose her a lot of money and not make her any happier, even if she does sometimes think that it's what she wants.
It's much better to do as Pastures is doing - tell the old that if she wants to live in a sheltered flat on a complex with a warden, she needs to go on the waiting list, put her on the council waiting list, and see what happens. If it takes 4 years to get to the top of the list, it's unlikely that the old will still be wanting to move to it by then, but if she still does, well then she could. If she only rented it, it wouldn't be such an enormous disaster if she changed her mind.Do you know anyone who's bereaved? Point them to https://www.AtaLoss.org which does for bereavement support what MSE does for financial services, providing links to support organisations relevant to the circumstances of the loss & the local area. (Link permitted by forum team)
Tyre performance in the wet deteriorates rapidly below about 3mm tread - change yours when they get dangerous, not just when they are nearly illegal (1.6mm).
Oh, and wear your seatbelt. My kids are only alive because they were wearing theirs when somebody else was driving in wet weather with worn tyres.0 -
... and on the other hand, it's not even on the market yet, so there is no money. And the other old's money is tied up in a cr4p will that'll take until next year to sort out.... so it'd be my money that'd have to buy it.On the other hand, isn't the money from the sale of the present house hers to deal with? If she wants to spend it that way, is it legal to stop her?0 -
Correct. I'll choose the EA, prepare the house, check the details, read the contract, be the contact for viewings, chase any feedback, get a solicitor, then do all the clearance and moving and organising and ... everything. As and when required, pieces of paper will be put in front of the old and I'd point at where to sign and say "sign there".I suspect Pastures's old wouldn't be capable of buying a property without a lot of help from Pastures. Actually I suspect she wouldn't have the first idea where to start, and if a property were to be purchased for her, it would be Pastures doing almost all of what it takes to make it happen.
The old has absolutely NO idea of what's involved whatsoever. None. Never done it, not got the capacity to even take on board 10% of the process or obligations or responsibilties or decisions.
The old wanted to close a bank account a month ago, so I took them into the bank and they said "you have another account" and the old had no idea, so it was decided that the money should be transferred from the newly closing account to the other one, and the bank would issue a statement for the newly found account, so the old could decide what to do... to this day the old is convinced the bank robbed them as they didn't walk out with a pile of cash in their hand.... and I've explained it to them 20x, as have other people ... and laid out the closing statement and the other account statement (which arrived the next week) and went through it all again .... old still thinks the bank's robbed them.0 -
I found the perfect job for me being advertised yesterday, almost full time hours (32.5), pay not too shoddy for a return to work, within my experience and knowledge and the best of all, no extra travelling...
Very best of luck!...much enquiry having been made concerning a gentleman, who had quitted a company where Johnson was, and no information being obtained; at last Johnson observed, that 'he did not care to speak ill of any man behind his back, but he believed the gentleman was an attorney'.0 -
they are fairly high so even 5 may just be statistical variation - sorry I know that probably doesn't bring much comfort but it is the flip-side of people winning the lottery.
Although my mate's last pregnancy was under the recurrent miscarriage programme, they were told that - they could jsut have grasped the sh!tty end of the statistical stick.
That's become very much less likely after this one, apparently. Still possible....much enquiry having been made concerning a gentleman, who had quitted a company where Johnson was, and no information being obtained; at last Johnson observed, that 'he did not care to speak ill of any man behind his back, but he believed the gentleman was an attorney'.0
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