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Nice people thread part 4 - sugar and spice and all things
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lostinrates wrote: »NDG it must be heartbreaking for your friend. A good childhood friend, who visited me very recently in fact, her parents had a simialr situation, but had managed two children, a boy and a girl. I know their continued struggle and grief did sadly upset their kids quite badly too after a while.
I think they have that in mind - this week's been quite tough for their daughter as well....much enquiry having been made concerning a gentleman, who had quitted a company where Johnson was, and no information being obtained; at last Johnson observed, that 'he did not care to speak ill of any man behind his back, but he believed the gentleman was an attorney'.0 -
And to lose her mum the same week... I was so grateful for the support of my mum when I had my miscarriage. Words fail me. I hope you are able to be there for her.
Her mother wouldn't have been supporting, sadly. It isn't a situation of uncomplicated grief, but also of mental illness and all sorts (on the mother's side).
I've known my friend since we were both 13, so I knew her mother very well, too....much enquiry having been made concerning a gentleman, who had quitted a company where Johnson was, and no information being obtained; at last Johnson observed, that 'he did not care to speak ill of any man behind his back, but he believed the gentleman was an attorney'.0 -
Towards the end, the old was trying to get random jobs done around the house - things that could/should have been done 10+ years ago and stuff that was just ridiculous. One day the old returned from a quick trip to the supermarket with a carpet cleaner.... and it's on my list of things to do. I have the whole house to clean.... but I think some will want doing 2-3-4 times and for some it probably still won't make a difference.lostinrates wrote: »...hire that carpet cleaner again grrrr.0 -
neverdespairgirl wrote: »Her mother wouldn't have been supporting, sadly. It isn't a situation of uncomplicated grief, but also of mental illness and all sorts (on the mother's side).
I've known my friend since we were both 13, so I knew her mother very well, too.
Oh no. That makes it worse. I'd read that grief is harder to resolve where the relationship wasn't straightforward, and now I am seeing it in DS who is stuck in his complicated grief for late-nearly-ex, probably at least partly because he hadn't resolved his anger with him about leaving. All the more best wishes to your friend.
Talking of DS's grief... I had supper last night with a couple I'm friends with, the husband of which is a mental health nurse. He's agreed with me that DS is stuck, and made some suggestions for what kind of help to try to get next. He is such an invaluable source of advice for me. I really do have some wonderful friends.
Pastures - I hope your old calms down soon and accepts the place where she's living.Do you know anyone who's bereaved? Point them to https://www.AtaLoss.org which does for bereavement support what MSE does for financial services, providing links to support organisations relevant to the circumstances of the loss & the local area. (Link permitted by forum team)
Tyre performance in the wet deteriorates rapidly below about 3mm tread - change yours when they get dangerous, not just when they are nearly illegal (1.6mm).
Oh, and wear your seatbelt. My kids are only alive because they were wearing theirs when somebody else was driving in wet weather with worn tyres.0 -
I found the perfect job for me being advertised yesterday, almost full time hours (32.5), pay not too shoddy for a return to work, within my experience and knowledge and the best of all, no extra travelling....the first time an absolutely perfect one has come up (not that it stopped me applying for the less than perfect ones)
It was online applications only, I spent two hours doing the blasted thing and I will be so gutted if I don't even get to interview stage...it is perfect for the needs of my family.We made it! All three boys have graduated, it's been hard work but it shows there is a possibility of a chance of normal (ish) life after a diagnosis (or two) of ASD. It's not been the easiest route but I am so glad I ignored everything and everyone and did my own therapies with them.
Eldests' EDS diagnosis 4.5.10, mine 13.1.11 eekk - now having fun and games as a wheelchair user.0 -
Oooh how exciting Sue. Tell us more..... (if and when you feel you want to, of course)Do you know anyone who's bereaved? Point them to https://www.AtaLoss.org which does for bereavement support what MSE does for financial services, providing links to support organisations relevant to the circumstances of the loss & the local area. (Link permitted by forum team)
Tyre performance in the wet deteriorates rapidly below about 3mm tread - change yours when they get dangerous, not just when they are nearly illegal (1.6mm).
Oh, and wear your seatbelt. My kids are only alive because they were wearing theirs when somebody else was driving in wet weather with worn tyres.0 -
I think that, perhaps, your friends should cherish their daughter ever so much and give up on the heartbreak of trying to produce a further child?
My brother and his wife have been through a similar experience over the last year or so, starting with a missed miscarriage about this time last year..
She has just had it confirmed that she is pregnant again (just over 10 weeks) and this time the signs are better but none of us will relax until she gets to the viable stage. She was so scared, that she was too scared to take a test until last week but it could be put off no longer.
She is not looking forward to the first scan though, it was at that scan they discovered the first missed miscarriage at 14 weeks.We made it! All three boys have graduated, it's been hard work but it shows there is a possibility of a chance of normal (ish) life after a diagnosis (or two) of ASD. It's not been the easiest route but I am so glad I ignored everything and everyone and did my own therapies with them.
Eldests' EDS diagnosis 4.5.10, mine 13.1.11 eekk - now having fun and games as a wheelchair user.0 -
DS .
Without diminishing the need for you to help your DS, I just want to repeat what amazing kids you have.
Both are charming and engaging and remarkably lovely. I'm confident that such a great kid as your DS with such a commited mother has the capacity to get over it and grow into a wonderful man.0 -
Oooh how exciting Sue. Tell us more..... (if and when you feel you want to, of course)
Well, it is at a local school, it is term time and it is doing part admin and part learning support.
It's not super duper wages, certainly a lot less than I am used to as a salary (I was earning more in 1989!) but as a change of career and after a career break, I can't afford to be fussy. The important thing is it is more than the dreaded only 16 hours a week, it would give me a sense of purpose and self respect back and fits in perfectly with the boys and would allow me to keep to my parent/school agreement (I have to be available to be at the school within 15 minutes for them to be able to stay at the school)We made it! All three boys have graduated, it's been hard work but it shows there is a possibility of a chance of normal (ish) life after a diagnosis (or two) of ASD. It's not been the easiest route but I am so glad I ignored everything and everyone and did my own therapies with them.
Eldests' EDS diagnosis 4.5.10, mine 13.1.11 eekk - now having fun and games as a wheelchair user.0 -
So do I. The old seems to be saying they want a little warden place... trouble is, you can't simply rent one. You can either buy one, or wait/bid for a council one, which could take 2-3 years. Even getting on the list to be able to bid takes 4 weeks ... must be nearly that since I filled in the form online though, but it'd still take a lot of waiting/bidding. As for buying .... not really an option as there are only a few and we don't think the old will like that either. Those that are for sale have been on for 2-3 years, so I know they're a tough re-sale too... two weeks in one of those followed by an "I hate it, get me out" statement could cost £50kPastures - I hope your old calms down soon and accepts the place where she's living. 0
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