Nice people thread part 4 - sugar and spice and all things

Wheezy_2

Doozergirl wrote: »

I also have to shout sometimes when I simply can't sleep through Family Guy or Match of the Day, nor do I like hearing shouty, shooting, killing type noises when I am trying to sleep.

Mrs. Wheezy can't stand Family Guy, even when she's not trying to sleep
I love it. (giggity giggity) There's that pointless episode where Peter gets into a fight with a chicken. Brilliant

lemonjelly wrote: »

Joined the fantasy footy league?

Yes I did!

lostinrates

I got a parcel in the post today, a gift of three decortive things to put night lights in and to hang in trees. Addressed to me, not ordered by DH or me, or my parents...no name/note to send a thank you too. I do like things hanging in trees....I usually use jam jars and a bit of garden wire.

Doozergirl

Generali wrote: »

Remember, this is time for you to have your grief not for other people to make demands of you.

I'm very sorry, PN. I'm glad you can be pragmatic about it.

Everything that Generali said, but this in particular if you can't remember much else.

The loss belongs to you and your immediately family infinitely more than it belongs to anybody else, so please don't stress yourself about making sure that everyone is invited. Families have the right to have whatever funeral they want and if that is more intimate, then you especially have that right when there is still so much else going on that has to be dealt with. The journey clearly doesn't end here for you.

If well old isn't really up to receiving/entertaining/engaging visitors, then I personally wouldn't want to see you stressed out feeling that you have to entertain and talk to people that you don't know, some of whom you are never likely to see again.

The funeral was important for me - I was in limbo, a sort of disbelief in the days until that point, and the funeral provided some way of coming to terms, saying goodbye. It wasn't big, we ate food and did some drinking and I enjoyed the company, because they were people I knew pretty well and people I knew that genuinely cared.

If you feel it deserves being some sort of party, then please make it as big as you want. If you don't, then don't put yourself out because you feel you should.

Doozergirl

Wheezy wrote: »

Mrs. Wheezy can't stand Family Guy, even when she's not trying to sleep
I love it. (giggity giggity) There's that pointless episode where Peter gets into a fight with a chicken. Brilliant

I say I hate it, I did hate it but I had to relinquish myself to watching it, especially when he was already snoring, and it does really make me laugh sometimes.

well everybody's heard, about the bird! bird bird bird, the bird is the word! bird bird bird, the bird is the word! well everybody's heard, about the bird! bird bird bird, the bird is the word!

Not very grown up, but makes me giggle.

I'm going to purchase myself a really expensive steam cleaning vacuum today. I want it to change my life but I have a feeling my expectations are too high. If it does my alloy wheels and my car seats, I will be happy. That however, is a challenge.

SingleSue

Red Cross medical services rang back, they have a wheelchair for me! Now all I have to do is attempt to get into the next big town and navigate my way to the place....not for the faint hearted.

There is no cost but they take donations, now stressing myself wondering what sort of level the donations usually are as my pockets may not be as deep as others and I would not like to offend.

GDB2222

PasturesNew wrote: »

I do have somebody who has done this stuff recently that I can ask; I'll phone them tomorrow.... it's been a long day and it's on my list; I felt we needed some "us time" after the last whirlwind, before the next one starts tomorrow.

You only need to phone up a few people to tell them of the funeral arrangements. At the same time I think it is perfectly reasonable to ask them two questions:
a) Who else do you think should be informed?
b) Would you mind informing them for me, please?

It's perfectly understandable that you are upset at this time, as well as being rushed off your feet. People often ask whether there is anything they can do to help. Well, yes there is, namely spend a few minutes making these phone calls for you. If someone hears more than once by these means that's fine.

In my circle, this way of doing things is very common. The funeral is usually arranged within a day of the death, so there is simply no way for the family to contact everybody direct, and the only way is to use a network based approach. I am not familiar with your family's unwritten rules and local Devon customs. Would some people feel upset unless they hear direct from you?

Doozergirl

Great new SS. Don't stress. They accept donations so they genuinely are leaving it to you to decide what you can afford. Have a look at it first. I guess you could always give them a bit more another day if you felt that you wanted to give more than you can comfortably afford on the day, iyswim. Don't put yourself into any further hardship. If you genuinely can't afford anything much at all, in your position, no one is going to berate you. They want to help your uality of life, not take you money

lostinrates

SingleSue wrote: »

There is no cost but they take donations, now stressing myself wondering what sort of level the donations usually are as my pockets may not be as deep as others and I would not like to offend.

varying depth of pockets is exactly why its donations. No offence will be taken by them. if you like I'm prepared to give a small amount in your name. I think these sorts of services are vital and its vital they stay at ''what people can afford''. I've used a red cross wheelchair and crutches in the past. They take no offense and in fact, they asked for donation on return, and I left an envelope so never got any feedback on my donation. They doid give guideline sums and I gave IIRC double the amount, because I could and it will have made up for two people who could only spare half. DO NOT FEEL PRESSURED. It is there for your use.

GDB2222

SingleSue wrote: »

Red Cross medical services rang back, they have a wheelchair for me! Now all I have to do is attempt to get into the next big town and navigate my way to the place....not for the faint hearted.

There is no cost but they take donations, now stressing myself wondering what sort of level the donations usually are as my pockets may not be as deep as others and I would not like to offend.

You'll offend me greatly if you give them more than you can easily afford. That would probably offend them too.

Send a son to collect the wheelchair for you? Or do you have to attend?

SingleSue

Aww that is a nice thought Lir, thankyou.

The whole thing is scary, never did I think I would be requiring a wheelchair at my age (although I always knew it would happen at some point) but the situation has now got to the stage where the boys quality of life is being impacted, without them, I think I would have just carried on as I am now, not going out much and not taking on too much.

Right, finish this cup of tea and get going.....