Nice people thread part 4 - sugar and spice and all things

silvercar

PasturesNew wrote: »

The old has gone now.

So sorry for your loss. At least you know you did your best for both olds at what can only be a very difficult time.

silvercar

I'm wondering how people let others know the news.

I've seen deaths announced on facebook! (Bit thoughtless as you don't know who will see it that needs to be told gently.)

Community / faith groups often email their members when they have lost one of their group.

I felt we needed some "us time" after the last whirlwind, before the next one starts tomorrow.

There is no rush now, let others take control. Take a day or two out for yourself to eat and sleep.

vivatifosi

PasturesNew wrote: »

One .... who I phoned and said I'd phone with a date/time once I knew. Old belonged to one club and that one person will tell them. I think it's more about the blokey stuff; you know how blokes will talk about grass cutting when they're mowing the lawn and another bloke passes ..... well I've no idea which of the surrounding neighbours the old has had grass cutting chats with

Good neighbours will already be well genned up on what's going on, don't worry about them! If you chat to your closest neighbours (in terms of friendship) they can tell the rest and anyone else will be looking out for a notice in the paper because they know what is happening. Seriously, don't stress yourself out over this. People have remarkable ways of finding things out if they want to, as well as passing news on. And sadly with pretty much every funeral you'll always miss someone who was away, or whose family neglected to tell them, but again, that's not for you to worry about.

I also echo what fc says. The funeral directors are fantastic. They know so well how to handle things and will be able to direct you if you want their help.

LydiaJ

Pastures

I am sorry for your loss, but at the same time hoping that there will be a bit of peace for you (and for him) now that your old is no longer frightened, in pain, and making impossible demands.

Lots of people have posted some wise words, and I just want to add a little bit to agree with everyone who's saying that you are not inadequate. You have done amazingly over these last weeks, and we are all so proud of you.

PasturesNew

fc123 wrote: »

dumb Q... is the whirlwind a person or events?

Events really, although there was a whirlwind person too

Four months ago we didn't even know there was anything wrong.

fc123 wrote: »

OH has just said that the funeral place were really helpful helping his family organise things when his GM died....and he sends you thoughts too.

Helpful ... at selling more services but I'm onto them. I'm going for the basics. Old'd go mad if we wasted money

Cheers for the thoughts.

PasturesNew

silvercar wrote: »

There is no rush now, let others take control. Take a day or two out for yourself to eat and sleep.

There are no others that could, I'll take a back seat where possible, but we're a very tiny family really. I'll do the driving, so no posh cars; might get a couple of sandwich platters from a local cake shop/similar - and a box of PG Tips.

That'll just about cover it.

fc123

PasturesNew wrote: »

Events really, although there was a whirlwind person too

Four months ago we didn't even know there was anything wrong.


Helpful ... at selling more services but I'm onto them. I'm going for the basics. Old'd go mad if we wasted money

Cheers for the thoughts.

I know...I remember you posting when he first said he how ill he really was.
I can't offer anything constructive as haven't been in a similar situation with parents so can only try to imagine how it feels.

I agree with the few days of trading water if you can.

The FD's do try to sell a lot of add-ons (seems selling add-ons is everywhere even at the end of life) but you can sift through them and say yeah yeah I'll think about it whilst getting plenty of free organising advice.

Do you have to rush the house selling or are you all OK to sort out some resi care for well old whilst planning the sale?

michaels

There is something wrong with the way the lanes work on that roundabout, it is very easy to end up in the wrong lane because the lane you want has a queue plus some of the exits have 2 lanes and people in the middle lane try and exit (possibly having got stuck in the wrong lane and not wanting to go round again) and sometimes those in the outside ('slow') lane try and pass the same exit causing problems.

silvercar wrote: »

So nice people, when would you use 999 and when 101?

Almost had a car crash on a roundabout (junction 5 M1/ A41). Triple lane roundabout, idiot ahead decides to sweep from innermost lane across other two lanes and disappears off. Car in front of me had to brake sharply to avoid hitting it. Car inside me is turning into my lane and crashes into side of braking car in front.

So I'm behind two cars that have hit into each other. Nowhere to stop and no-one looks injured ie they are all getting out of cars and walking round.

So I drive around them and carry on my way. I phone 101 (well son does) and we tell them where the accident is. Then I think should I have phoned 999?

My Dad has them which is good when he uses them as otherwise they watch very loud.

I think I have said before, we do have a TV in the bedroom - DW uses it as a going to sleep aid - switch on the 10 o'clock movie and she is asleep within minutes whereas I am still up gone midnight as I have to watch a film to the end even if I have seen it before and would otherwise have happily gone to sleep if I hadn't started watching. (I Robot just finished on Film 4+1, actually makes a fair fist of the book although I suspect most cinema viewers just watched a Will Smith action movie)

Doozergirl wrote: »

There kind of is a need in this house. I would never get to watch any TV otherwise. As it stands, the stand of the spare TV is broken so I really haven't watched any for weeks.

Can you get wireless headphones for TVs? I wouldn't even need to speak to him at all then and I might get some sleep :rolleyes:

michaels

PN I was just thinking of you when I logged in and then saw your post. I don't have the experience to advise but I can only echo what everyone else has said, you appear to have been amazing these last few days, weeks and months. We will all try and be there for you however we can be whether you want to talk about it or talk about other stuff.

Michael

neverdespairgirl

lostinrates wrote: »

Also we have had a very minor but unrresolved disagreement. DH would like a tv in the bedroom. I don't want one..its not as simple as not using it when not wanted. My suggestion at compromise is to have one but with no arial, so just for films...I like being down stairs with the animals, and its fair to them.

I hate TVs in bedrooms. Fortunately, OH agrees.