Nice people thread part 4 - sugar and spice and all things

SingleSue

So sorry to hear your news PN, my thoughts are with you and your family at this time.

FC - I have been looking around for a wheelchair since coming home, I was going to talk to my GP about a referral to wheelchair services to see if I could get one on the NHS but he has gone away on holiday and won't be back until next month and the referrals take a lot of time anyway before you are actually assessed for one...not sure my boys want to wait that long before having another outing.

They are all so expensive though, especially as I have found the narrow chairs (which also happen to be the cheaper ones generally), force me to sit in a position which worsens the nerve pain, the wider ones, although not needed to fit my bottom but do allow me to sit in a way that lessens or prevents the nerve pain, are just so blooming expensive.

I have left a message with the local Red Cross medical supplies people however to see if they can help with a rental/loan of one until I can get an NHS one sorted (this can take 6 months or more in this area!).

SingleSue

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

I hate TVs in bedrooms. Fortunately, OH agrees.

The boys have TV's in their rooms, ex hubbies idea. I have a television in my room but something happened with the feed from downstairs (hubby did it all and I don't have a scoobie how it all works), which means I cannot receive any channels, so I had been using it only to view DVD's.

It has only been used twice in the last year....on holiday last year for eldest and on holiday this year for eldest (it's only a 14 inch old style portable.....ex hubby took the 26 inch one when he left!)

misskool

PN: just seen the news. Condolences to you and your family, take care of yourself. I can't offer anything else as never been through it but you've been remarkable throughout this.

Davesnave

Sorry to read the news this a.m.

You've been way out of your comfort zone, I'd imagine, but you did a great job and I've no idea how they'd have coped without you.

You usually get a bit of control over the next bit, and you're wise to imagine what old would have wanted himself.

Hope the next bit goes as smoothly as it can.

lostinrates

Pastures,

I'm sorry to read your news. I hope well old is bearing up ok. I don't know how forgetful she is but something I wish we'd known more about when my grandmother was alive was the newer theory with people with dementia not to regive them bad news when they forget it and to answer their questions with questions....so ''when is ill old coming home?'' the answer might be ''when do you think he's coming home?''. My grandmother was helpfully retold by us several times a day sometimes that she had been widowed..years after the event . In retrospect it was heartlessly cruel and it didn't matter that she didn't know what was going on.

I hope you still feel ok.

Generali

PasturesNew wrote: »

I bl00dy hope so!!

Got the D Cert... been to the expensive box providers; got appointment to do registration tomorrow, then picking date/time tomorrow. I'm wondering how people let others know the news. I can't phone everybody, I have no idea who'd care/wish to know. When you phone the bugg4hs don't know what to say and/or keep you chatting about boll0x for an hour.

Do people phone/invite? Is it postcards? Or what? I've never been invited to a sending off occasion. It'll be simple, probably family +1 + stray/random old people who turn out for all events (I'm sure there are some people that see this as a social life). Or maybe it'll just be immediate family. The old has met a lot of people through life/past interests, but since the big move hasn't really done more than send cards and so I don't expect their octogenarian friends to be up for a huge trip to wave goodbye. But what if the old had acquaintances/neighbours who are the sort to turn up .... how do you know who to inform/ask?

I'd do the following:

- Make a list of people you know would want to know
- Ask remaining old if (s)he can think of anyone.
- Call them in turn with a timer or something so after five minutes you can say, "Sorry, I have to go. It's a busy time". Probably best not to use a timer with an alarm.
- Try to co-opt people in to helping you. Almost everyone says, "If there's anything I can do...". Say to them, "Actually there is, can you call I]insert name of person you don't want to talk to[/I and let him know?"
- If there's a pub/social club/group/sports club/church they used to frequent then let an landlord/organiser/team captain/vicar know so they can put the message around.

From experience I'd recommend having the wake in a pub. There's no clearing up, if it all gets too much you can leave everyone to it and as a smoker you can go outside for a cig to get away from people for a bit. It probably works out at the same cost because if it's at your/old's place then you have to pay for the food and drinks whereas in a pub people will buy their own drinks and the landlord might put on a few sandwiches for free because of the extra business you're bringing in.

My Dad's wake was at my mum's house, I just couldn't get away from anyone and it was all way too intense. The place was packed with people being nice about it when all I wanted was to drink 12 pints and fall into bed in a drunken stupor (see my previous post about how this is not a good way to cope with bereavement).

My personal opinion FWIW is that cremation is a bit less awkward. It has a finality to it which a burial doesn't. You might find that helpful with your specialness.

I'm thinking of you. Remember, this is time for you to have your grief not for other people to make demands of you.

Really2

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

I hate TVs in bedrooms. Fortunately, OH agrees.

Can we not use TVs. I always think of transvestite. (but it does make statements like above amusing )

Same as when people are going to hire tranny to move house.
I would of thought a man not in high heels would be of far more help when getting a wardrobe upstairs.

Really2

Sorry to hear your news PN. Look after yourself. We recently lost a relative (my wife's side) I agree with everything gen said above and hope you get through it all ok.

Davesnave

Really2 wrote: »

Same as when people are going to hire tranny to move house.
I would of thought a man not in high heels would be of far more help when getting a wardrobe upstairs.

I once typed 'Trannie forum' into Google and didn't get this:

http://fordtransit.org/forum/



It's a great site once you get there, though!

sss555s

Davesnave wrote: »

I once typed 'Trannie forum' into Google and didn't get this:

http://fordtransit.org/forum/



It's a great site once you get there, though!

The Ford transit site isn't bad either :rotfl::D


PN: Horrible confusing time but you will get through it. Your very organised which will ensure things go well, even if you do feel like a fish out of water.


My living room TV had to go for repair last week and i didn't miss it. I really feel the internet has overtaken the TV as entertainment for a lot of people now.