Yet more financial faux pas and many other disasterous decisions

Igamogam

Oh Moo so sorry to hear of all of the above. Have no wise words but yoiu a re a sensible level headed strong person so I am sure you will make the right decisions for you all. I hope the OH realises before its too late he needs help and only he can seek it.

On a totally different subject your knitting exploits have given me my NY resolution - I am going to do more knitting! Also helped along with the comments form my 2 DD's whilst looking at hats in R!ver !sland and I said 'I can knit that at the fraction of the price' DD1: 'Oh yes I forgot you can knit' DD2 'can you ?' and bit later on whilst looking at very poor quality and over priced cable knits and fairisles jumpers in same shop 'I can knit those too' DDs together 'you are THAT good?'.........well a bit rusty but I guess it will come back once I get started

ebayqueen_2

Hello Moo:wave:

So sorry about the trouble you are having with your OH. I don't know what advice to give you other than I don't think you should leave your home. Would it be possible for you to stay and OH move closer to his work. Why should you go? He is the one that has the problem not you.

I really feel for you and the girls. I think you should go to family for a few days at least and try and sort your head out. You need some TLC too.

Thinking about you and praying for you too.

God bless
E

Double_Trouble

Can only repeat what the others have said but didn't want to read and not post. You are one very strong lady and I know that you and the DDs will be fine in fact I think you will be more than fine I think your lives will blossom once you take sole control - I don't think you should move out either but if you can't get OH out then perhaps its for the best because carrying on as you are is really not an option for you or the girls

Big hugs

DTxx

RosaBernicia

Hi Moo

No sensible suggestions to hand just wanted to also send you ((hugs))

Surely you wouldn't need to just keep yourself and girls on your salary though - shouldn't OH contribute regardless?

Time out for you sounds like a plan. If you could arrange time out doing something or other mindless in the company of a friend who can handle ear-bending or meltdowns if required, that might be even better.

Rosa xx

Itsadogslife_2

Hi Moo, also didn't want to read and run. I think in your heart, you will know when you are "done" and will feel an inner peace at the decision that has been made.

I second what others have said, you need to speak to someone about what benefits you are entitled to as a single parent, there are many tax credits etc that would boost your income significantly. Also are your children, your OH's? Sorry to ask but if they are, you are entitled to 20% of his income as maintenance.

We are always here for you, life is too short, it is not worth spending what little time we have unhappy.

beanielou

20% of his salary has to be paid in maintenance.

Big huggles and so hope you can sort out what is best for you & DD's.
Hope most of debt is in his name.

Trying_to_be_good

Hi Moo.

Gutted to read things are where they are, endless hugs to you and the DDs. I know, we know, you'll do the right thing for the three of you - think about getting a guide to the legal side of separation and divorce (I'm sure you can pick one up on ebay or Green Met!) as you can do most of it yourself when you know what's what. Importantly, you don't need to be the one to leave the house as it's the family home - so long as you want to stay.

PM me if you want my life history to back this up!

stripes

Big hugs x

KAMH

Hi Moo,
Sorry to hear that things have deteriorated again but that is the nature of the beast unfortunately. I am in a similar situation, ie in love with an addict, although mine, thank goodness, never gets abusive. We are looking at the possibilities of residential rehab and wonder if you have considered that? I know it is expensive in the private sector but so is the cost of enormous quantities of alcohol.
The place I am looking at works at removing all traces of the poison of choice from the body, gives nutritional support, and works out what the triggers are and strives to turn them off.
It sounds as if your OH, like mine, is unable to do this on his own - and I don't think it is their fault, addiction on this level is an illness that requires professional help and support and it doesn't matter how hard they try to do it alone, their brains have been slightly altered by the poisons and they do not have the tools available that other 'healthy' individuals have.
I reiterate what ebayqueen, eager elephant and others have said too, why the heck should YOU move out?
Lots of love and hugs

Marg

Moo - sorry to hear your latest upset & sending heartfelt wishes that you find an answer that is in yours & DDs best interest. That said, I strongly suggest you & the DDs are the ones to stay in your home if at all possible to limit the disruption to them. ((Hugs))