moan about my son and some perspective please...

cottyh24

3v3 wrote: »

One name: H.a.r.r.y. P.o.t.t.e.r :whistle:

Exactly what I thought when I read that post :rotfl:

PolishBigSpender

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

Why would you think that? Some teenagers ARE so disorganised that they'd forget their own head if it wasn't screwed on. And while you might think that they need to learn, some of them are going to struggle with this kind of thing all their lives, and NOT because of poor parenting.

The boy is 16. Soon he might get married and have his own kids. I'm sorry for his poor (future) wife!

3v3

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

I disagree. A firm hand at this age may well avoid worse problems later on.

I do agree but up to a point; I would argue what form that "firm hand" takes. Certainly, from my experience, deprivation of social media/fun things (rather then an individuals private space/regression from a previous "reward") can still be deemed a "firm hand".

"Firm hand" is a matter of perception: withholding something for a period of time that they enjoy, as opposed to withdrawing something awarded as a symbol of maturity (that a 13yo may find quite essential to developing their own persona: be it boy or girl) is quite different and each will have a differing affect. Witholding is a temporary status; withdrawing is also a demeaning act.

I'm all for a "firm" hand; but, I'm also in favour for a "firm but fair" attitude towards transgressions (which have varying natures).

Too firm could equate to too authoritarian - in those circumstances, the rebellion gets progressively worse. Its a balancing act between what the parent (usually based on their own upbringing) deems "firm" vs what the child's peers parenting would deem fair. The restrictions/discipline of their peers bares more weight than that of a solo parent (in my experience). Its that middle line which makes it all a juggling act and so hard when decision making.

Not so sure "too firm" equates to teaching them to "lie" better, but I will agree it could make their behaviour more rebellious (not all rebellious teens lie; not all teens lie to rebel )

3v3

PolishBigSpender wrote: »

:O You're joking, right?

Nah, that's normal (have you read how little attention teens give their personal hygiene? :rotfl: )

Mind you, I *only* ask those questions when I *know* the answer! (and that answer is a nose-tingling "not yet")

Yes, they are of an age to marry (with parental consent) ... but, smelling like that (?) that is the least unlikely scenario

CH27

Not showering, messy rooms & stuffing their faces with sweets is normal teenage boy behaviour.

I would make the effort to go up to at bedtime & make sure he gets changed & to say goodnight.

foxymum1977_2

we have a teenage daughter shes 15 next week & her room is full of wrappers/drink bottles/biscuits even easter eggs that she'd bought as 'snacks' , she has a paperound so earns the money herself & my thinking that surely she'll get fed up with getting up at 6am 6 days a week & wasting the majority of it in tesco will wear off! well no not yet anyway!
her room is a pit all the time, but she does shower daily so thats a bonus!!
hope you get it sorted as i know what a pain teens can be :-) i was one myself!!

LondonDiva

I'm actually more concerned that a boy in the year before his GCSEs is only doing 30 mins of homework a night.

Person_one

The thing that would worry me the most is the sugar consumption. A 13 year old isn't going to care that in ten years his teeth might be falling out of his mouth, making his breath stink to high heaven, putting off the girls and costing him a fortune in dentists fees, but he'll probably thank you later for saving the only set of adult teeth he'll ever have! ]

Does he go to the dentist regularly? Have they given him a stern lecture and shown him pictures of rotting teeth?

Alikay

LondonDiva wrote: »

I'm actually more concerned that a boy in the year before his GCSEs is only doing 30 mins of homework a night.

My kids went to a school which did longer school days and a slightly longer academic year: In lessons 8.30am til 4 pm with just one 15 min and one 30 min break, and staff training held in school hols, so no INSET days. They didn't do any homework until GCSE year.

emerald21

When one of my sons was in senior school i found out he would sleep in his school uniform. He d come in from school and spend a lot of time in his room watching tv etc. He d kick off his shoes but would have the sense to loosen his tie ( luckily lol ) and fall asleep. :eek:. Now 15 years on, he s just the opposite. He knows how to do the housework, keeps fit, likes tanning himself and chest waxes for holidays:D and will only wear Jean Paul Gaultier after shave. He s one of the nicest guys around but then i am biased lol.