moan about my son and some perspective please...

Savvy_Sue

fiscalfreckles wrote: »

Of course he & his clothes are going to smell if he keeps on sleeping in them.

Although to be fair, some boys (and I believe girls too, but I've never had one) smell even if they are NOT sleeping in their clothes!

fiscalfreckles wrote: »

You could try buying him Lynx shower gels or something to encourage him to wash more.

What do they PUT in that stuff? And WHY do boys like it so much?

mountainofdebt wrote: »

I've just had the house cleaned for me including the dog being washed and kitchen floor cleaned as apparently there's a girl coming around later on today.

:rotfl: where am I going wrong? Mine bring girls home, but never 'girlfriends', and they don't care what state the house is in!

mountainofdebt

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

:rotfl: where am I going wrong? Mine bring girls home, but never 'girlfriends', and they don't care what state the house is in!

Ah well he's had a 'thing' for this particular girl for at least 2 years - am now hoping that his dad and I will be given a £20 to make ourselves scarce!

Threebabes

My son is 16 in November. On a morning before school I always ask has he brushed his teeth, got his packed lunch or money, got deodorant on. If i go upstaires around his bedtime I check that his tv is switched off.

tikka1951

Just a word of warning about a teenager being in the attic bedroom....

Going back a few years here, my school age teenage son had the attic bedroom, and I rarely went up there, being too lazy to climb 2 flights of stairs.

One lunch time I unusually popped home from work, and could hear a noise which seemed to be coming from the attic bedroom. So bravely, up I went to investigate thinking maybe one of the cats was up there. Well it was one of DS's mates up there. He had been 'living' there for 2 weeks, and we hadn't a clue about it. His parents had apparently kicked him out.

So after that episode, I always checked the attic bedroom. We laugh about it now though, many years later.

Lunar_Eclipse

rachbc wrote: »

How to I encourage him to look after himself - go to bed (not in his clothes), keep clean, eat well etc without nagging, or are my expectations of a 13 year old being able to manage this himself too much and should I be supervising this sort of stuff more??

I would simply talk to him about why you would like him to go to bed on time, take showers etc, encourage him to take them a few times a week and leave it at that.

If his general behaviour was good (ie polite demeanor and engages in family conversation daily at dinner time) and he was doing well at school, then I think things are going really well and I'd count my blessings.

I am curious as to how he can get all his homework done though if he is out all afternoon until effectively 8.30 (bar dinner) and is supposed to be in bed at 9pm. Your son is probably in Y8, but could be in Y9 if he has a Summer birthday. From Y7 onwards, everyone around here, regardless of the school they go to, have 1 hour per night on average. I know one school that sets 2 hours/night! They may get away without doing homework on perhaps one night a week if they have a sport and Guides/Scouts, but certainly no more than that. There is always more at the weekend too.

happy35

i have a teenage son,he eat a balanced diet loads of fruit and veg but also eats loads of c**p. He is never full always hungry drinks pints of milk at time but is very active and very slim.

I think that 9pm is a very early bed time for a 13 year old, think mine went to his room about this time but didnt go to sleep until 10pm at this age.

Thankfully he has always been good about getting a shower and does use Lynx, doesnt like anythign else apparently.

hollyh

My 14 year old son was exactly the same until a few months ago, i had a battle every day to get him to have a bath. Now he baths all the time without me saying a word, covers himself in lynx and spends more time on his hair than i do. His room is still a pit so i'm hoping that will change soon too.

rachbc

Thanks for all the responses - I'm trying not to nag and have a go - in fact I worry my lack of naging/ follwing up on stuff has been part of the problem and guess I just expect a bit much off him! He doesn't smell tbh - he just looks grubby - his hands are always filthy from fixing scooters and then he wipes his sweaty face and ends up with a mucky face - I point this out and tell him to wash - he disappears upstairs and comes down an hour later still mucky having been distracted!! Yet spends ages doing his hair and choosing his clothes so he does care about is apperance!!

He gets £30 paid monthly into his account - this gets spent on phone credit and hobbies or saved - or did til recently. He does have sweets - if I buy a pack with dd on the way from pre school we get soem for him obviously- but a standard size bag of something maybe 2/3 times a week, or OH will buy a big bag that we'll share watching a dvd or programme together.

OH and I are deciding between bringing him back to the first floor (small box room) or stopping the pocket money. His move to the attic was when he started high school as an acknowledgement that he was getting older, needed some space from his 4yo sister and could be trusted a bit more about sorting himself out.

He does eat well at home - shreddies or porridge, milk and juice for breakfast, a home cooked meal in the evenings. He takes a sarnie and piece of fruit for lunch - have tried to get him to take more but he wants to spent time playing not eating. I know he needs lots of food which is why a I keep lot of snackable stuff in but its never what he fancies - ie not eclairs or haribo!

I know I'm just stewing on this as he's not here to talk to about but at least it gives me time to work out the best way to tackle it. He's been an absolutle breeze til now and is doing great at school so I know i shouldn't sweat the small stuff but I guess partly I'm feeling guilty for not being a little more on top of things!

mrcow

The thing is that he's being paid the pocket money in return for doing the few chores you expect. If his room isn't in good conditon, then he doesn't get the pocket money. Don't pay him for that week.

If he's spending it on sweets, then that's up to him isn't it? You gave him the money to do a he wishes with it. If you're not happy with it, then you need to tell him that he needs to cut down.

I persnally think the £30 per month is too much in one go. It's better to pay £7.50 per week and you may find he budgets it better rather than blowing a load of it on crap.

cte1111

Not sure what the big drama is TBH. What are you most annoyed about? Is it the sweet wrappers?

My twopenneth: I don't buy my children (or myself) sweets, they occasionally are given them in party bags (they are 8 and 4) or for presents, which is fine for a treat. If you don't want your son to eat sweets, then why do you buy them for him? I think buying sweets with your 4 year old 3 times a week is not a great habit. Why don't you decide to not have sweets as a family? Or if you think regular sweet eating is fine, then why are you cross with your teenager for buying them with his pocket money