Fec kless teenager!!! So mad at my son!

1echidna

euronorris wrote: »

Stockholm syndrome? :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:No, it's just called 'You live in my house, you live by my rules.'.

And I can tell you, most teenagers require firm guidance. Working hard, and earning your keep is part of that.

He can either stay at home, do nothing and be treated like a child in every sense of the word. Or, if he wants to be treated like an adult, he can start acting like one. Working full time, at his grandad's whilst getting lodgings, food and a small salary is a pretty good deal IMO. If you're gonna harp on about it being minimum wage, I suggest you bother to work out the cost of his share of the bills and food first.

And I would say that it is exactly because his father isn't around, that he requires the influence of his grandad.

OP - I would offer your support and let him know that you will help him where you can, but it is up to him to ensure he's there on time, does a good job and pays you some keep.

No - you live by the law of the land

euronorris

1echidna wrote: »

No - you live by the law of the land

Which is a lot harsher than my upbringing!

Living at home is easy. Even when your parents insist you get a job. It's no different than society insisting you get a job to pay your bills, it's just dressed up differently.

dirtysexymonkey

euronorris wrote: »

Stockholm syndrome? :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:No, it's just called 'You live in my house, you live by my rules.'.

And I can tell you, most teenagers require firm guidance. Working hard, and earning your keep is part of that.

He can either stay at home, do nothing and be treated like a child in every sense of the word. Or, if he wants to be treated like an adult, he can start acting like one. Working full time, at his grandad's whilst getting lodgings, food and a small salary is a pretty good deal IMO. If you're gonna harp on about it being minimum wage, I suggest you bother to work out the cost of his share of the bills and food first.

And I would say that it is exactly because his father isn't around, that he requires the influence of his grandad.

OP - I would offer your support and let him know that you will help him where you can, but it is up to him to ensure he's there on time, does a good job and pays you some keep.

the law supercedes any notion of little hitlers ruling their own houses. as i said before that argument doesnt wash with human traffickers and it doesnt wash with people expoiting their family as cheap labour. there are laws in this country whether you like it or not. i wonder if other grandparents charge their grandchildren for keep when staying with them for a short while? i doubt it somehow. its not a wonder that this 'granddad' has to force his grandson to visit!!! i wonder why the lad doesnt want to visit? more going on here i expect! especially with how this lads mother just rolls over at the demands of her father. poor lad needs help. possibly from the police!

dirtysexymonkey

euronorris wrote: »

Which is a lot harsher than my upbringing!

Living at home is easy. Even when your parents insist you get a job. It's no different than society insisting you get a job to pay your bills, it's just dressed up differently.

depends on the home. one that demands you do hard labour for less than the legal minimum wage doesnt sound very home like does it? the law is there to protect people from abuse like this. you should be ashamed with yourself for supporting it. i hope you never comment on any law breakers/ing on this website again because you obviously dont care for the law and support criminals!

AMILLIONDOLLARS

This is how I solved my problem regarding my son.

I got him to pass his driving test - tests paid for by me.

Then

Husband got him a cheap car - paid for by him.


Tax, Insurance and Petrol ? If you want to move it off the drive way - PAID FOR BY YOU.!!!:D

Now in suitable full-time employment:rotfl:

AMD

euronorris

dirtysexymonkey wrote: »

the law supercedes any notion of little hitlers ruling their own houses. as i said before that argument doesnt wash with human traffickers and it doesnt wash with people expoiting their family as cheap labour. there are laws in this country whether you like it or not. i wonder if other grandparents charge their grandchildren for keep when staying with them for a short while? i doubt it somehow. its not a wonder that this 'granddad' has to force his grandson to visit!!! i wonder why the lad doesnt want to visit? more going on here i expect! especially with how this lads mother just rolls over at the demands of her father. poor lad needs help. possibly from the police!

Mountain out of a molehill.

He's been offered paid work. They can't (nor will they, I suspect) force him to do the work. If he doesn't do it, he won't get any money. Simples.

Of course, he can find a job off his own back, and hold onto it. That'd solve the problem all round.

No wonder so many people expect people to pay their way for them. There are clearly are people willing to pay!

dirtysexymonkey

euronorris wrote: »

Mountain out of a molehill.

He's been offered paid work. They can't (nor will they, I suspect) force him to do the work. If he doesn't do it, he won't get any money. Simples.

Of course, he can find a job off his own back, and hold onto it. That'd solve the problem all round.

No wonder so many people expect people to pay their way for them. There are clearly are people willing to pay!

hes been told that hes to work doing hard labour for below the minimum wage. not offered paid work. why are you trying to change the facts (as posted by the op) to suit your argument?

euronorris

dirtysexymonkey wrote: »

hes been told that hes to work doing hard labour for below the minimum wage. not offered paid work. why are you trying to change the facts (as posted by the op) to suit your argument?

He's only been told that. He doesn't actually have to comply! I very much doubt that the OP can do anything if he refuses.
And I'm sure she'd gladly call off the arrangement if he found other work.

Why are you blowing the situation out of all proportion?

Person_one

dirtysexymonkey wrote: »

hes been told that hes to work doing hard labour for below the minimum wage. not offered paid work. why are you trying to change the facts (as posted by the op) to suit your argument?

You can pay people less 'cash' than the minimum wage if they are receiving other benefits that make up the difference, such as room and board, which the son will be getting at his grandparent's house. This is how people are allowed to pay live in au-pairs peanuts.

From direct.gov:

"Living in your employer’s household
If you are a member of your employer’s family, live in their home and help run a family business or help with household chores, you are not entitled to the National Minimum Wage if you share in the family’s tasks and activities.
If you are not a member of your employer’s family but you live in their home and share in the household’s work and leisure activities, for example if you are an au pair, you are not entitled to the National Minimum Wage.

Work for friends and neighbours
If you do a job for a friend or neighbour under informal arrangements, with no contractual obligation, for example if you get a token payment for helping out with the shopping, you are not entitled to the National Minimum Wage."

determined_new_ms

property.advert wrote: »

A child brought up on an Xbox is already beyond hope in many areas where social skills, fitness and so forth are concerned. There is lazy and then there is video game addict lazy.

my ds is 18 - he's playing on mario bros as I type and spends a great deal of his spare time on the corner of the sofa trying to rescue the princess :rotfl:he spends about 2hrs at the gym each day & also is ringing round agencies each day & working when he gets the chance. Often I think teenagers can lack confidence so that may hold them back from applying.

My partner says that while he's 18 he's still a "starter" adult and at times he's pretty carp at it all! at 18 life's for living they've got their whole life to grow up. love & encouragement and rarely doing things for them & clever-advice-so-they-don't-realise-you're-giving-it and get them to think...