Fec kless teenager!!! So mad at my son!

gillypkk

i so agree with the making his life as uncomfortable as possible.

start charging him rent and board. if he cant pay then make a spreadsheet and add it up for him to pay off when he does start working and tell him he needs to buy and cook for himself. if he didnt buy it he cant eat it. should see him moving to the jobcentre sharpish!

make_me_wise

:idea:

Does he have any interests other than Xbox and his mates? Is there anything he really enjoys doing? Maybe if he could apply for a position that could hold his interest and fire his imagination, he may stick to it.

Even by volunteering, doing something he loves. It could lead to being able to take qualifications and being taken on by the setting. I know, I know, how unlikely is it that a teen may want to do something for nothing. But it could be the easiest way in to a job/career he could love, which might otherwise be very competitive. I speak from experience here.

I am a teacher and we have had a young lady, about 20 years old, volunteering at our school whilst she has been studying for her NVQs in Childcare, learning and development. Over the last year she has come in 3 days a week and worked alongside my colleagues and I. She has been an absolute god send to us and we have all seen her potential. We mentioned this to our head at a staff meeting. As luck would have it we have recieved alot of children with special educational needs through our year 3 intake this year and a position became available that could be offered to her. She was the first one the Head thought of to fill the place as she has proven herself to be reliable, hard working and more than capable. She was thrilled to be offered the job and we are all lucky to have her as a new member of our team.

bestpud

Could I ask how these teens afford to go out socialising with their friends?

Mine found jobs as they didn't get money from me for sitting on their butts...:cool:

ciderwithrosie_2

make_me_wise wrote: »

Even by volunteering, doing something he loves. It could lead to being able to take qualifications and being taken on by the setting. I know, I know, how unlikely is it that a teen may want to do something for nothing. But it could be the easiest way in to a job/career he could love, which might otherwise be very competitive. I speak from experience here.

It's a good way to get a foot in the door definitely. There was a young lad I know (without many prospects) started volunteering at the hospital where I work, it was a bit odd at first as the majority of volunteers are retired people but it led on to him getting a job as a porter and he's doing really well.

mountainofdebt

Personally I wouldn't take away his x-box......I just wouldn't be putting my hand into my purse when he wanted money for x, y or z.

elisebutt65

I've sort of compromised at the mo and put the XBox in the living room, so he can only use it when no-one else needs to be in there.

He doesn't get money from me (checks purse) so I have no idea? I think his grandad (paternal) has been putting some in his bank, in lieu of his dad paying maintenance (another Aaaargh )

My dad has told him ( not asked. Lol) that he is coming to them for a fortnight to do labouring for 2.50 hour/40 hour week. My brothers FiL has also said that there is some agricultural labouring going nearby ( in Scotland - Eeeeeee).

So after a fortnight at his dads, where he's pretty much allowed to do what he likes, I'm taking him up to my parents in rural Herefordshire and leaving him to their tender mercies.

I'll bet he'll be grateful for a Sat job after that (evil snigger). He did the same to me when I turned 14 and I made sure I had a Sat and summer job always lined up after that!

At 16, he is plenty old enough to get a Sat job. I'm not asking for any keep until he's finished education. MacDonalds aren't recruiting here, but he's applied online for them to keep his details.

He gets no money from me since his 16th, I don't buy him junk and if he needs clothes then it's repair or replace at the minute. The only expensive things he's had recently is a suit for prom/interviews/ uncle's wedding. I refused to buy the £90 shoes he wanted so he wore plimsolls ( his choice) I was going to get him some perfectly wearable shoes but he didn't like them!

mountainofdebt

elisebutt65 wrote: »

I've sort of compromised at the mo and put the XBox in the living room, so he can only use it when no-one else needs to be in there.

He doesn't get money from me (checks purse) so I have no idea? I think his grandad (paternal) has been putting some in his bank, in lieu of his dad paying maintenance (another Aaaargh )

My dad has told him ( not asked. Lol) that he is coming to them for a fortnight to do labouring for 2.50 hour/40 hour week. My brothers FiL has also said that there is some agricultural labouring going nearby ( in Scotland - Eeeeeee).

So after a fortnight at his dads, where he's pretty much allowed to do what he likes, I'm taking him up to my parents in rural Herefordshire and leaving him to their tender mercies.

I'll bet he'll be grateful for a Sat job after that (evil snigger). He did the same to me when I turned 14 and I made sure I had a Sat and summer job always lined up after that!

At 16, he is plenty old enough to get a Sat job. I'm not asking for any keep until he's finished education. MacDonalds aren't recruiting here, but he's applied online for them to keep his details.

He gets no money from me since his 16th, I don't buy him junk and if he needs clothes then it's repair or replace at the minute. The only expensive things he's had recently is a suit for prom/interviews/ uncle's wedding. I refused to buy the £90 shoes he wanted so he wore plimsolls ( his choice) I was going to get him some perfectly wearable shoes but he didn't like them!

Good for you!

Junior is effectively on a gap year and although he does have a job, he's only down for 2 shifts a week - although in fairness he does work extra when its available.

I've told him that any days he's not working I will be expecting him to do work around the house....if he can't pay his way monetarily then he'll do it in kind.

Having said that his dad is getting him to help with any surveying jobs that are going - not so bad in the sunshine but not so nice in the rain!

pulliptears

Wholly agree with the volunteering! My lad (now 18) really struggled when he first looked for part time work because he didnt have any experience or referees from a previous job. I was fortunate enough to know a lovely old man who ran a little book shop and at 16 DS volunteered to go in on a sunday for a few hours and help with the lifting/sales etc. Although he wasn't paid he often bought a book home and he genuinely enjoyed spending time with the old man.

Just after his 17th Birthday he applied for a job in a call center locally, he became their youngest ever employee and is now a very valued member of the team, so much so they are willing to sit down and rejig his shifts when he starts University in September. Can't help but think the glowing reference he got from the old man went towards helping him secure the job he's in now.

Miss.Sian-Marie

I'm nearly 21 and have always worked ever since I was 16, I was quite fortunate and gained a job after a successful work experience.

As soon as I turned 16 my Mum made it clear to me that I was old enough to work and because of that if I wanted to spend money, I had to earn it myself.

ciderwithrosie_2

It's not that my son doesn't want to work. OK, he's not trying as hard as maybe he could, but there's just nothing much about atm especially when you've not got any real work experience or exam results yet. He took over his brother's paper round at 12 (supposed to be 13 I know) and kept that up until he was getting less and less papers to deliver and it wasn't worth his while. None of the supermarkets are hiring here, although his dad is keeping his ear to the ground at his place, it's not a tourist place so no seasonal work even.

I do give him pocket money and buy his clothes/toiletries still - I did the same for the other two until they had their own money. He's my child, I'm not going to see him going round in rags and having no social life, it's not his fault the economy's a mess, in my era you could leave school one day and be working the next and I had various part-time jobs from age 13.