The CSA keeps badgering me to go back to work, but work doesnt pay, suggestions pleas

Trent1974

Why go about concience?

The OP's ex made him bang to rights to the maxuimum extent, and the OP has made the PWC do the same.

As for the trust, this is a probably pilot trust (google it), a type of discretionary trust that protects the family from, among other things, predatory spouse (the PWC in this case). More commomnly its used to protect the family from inheritance tax and long term care in old age. The OPs family are clearly not stupid, and made provisions the NRPs children see the benefits of the family money and protected it from the PWC. They have every right to do that. My late grandfather did the same for us incase we succumbed to predatory spouse as men fare badly in UK marital law.

As I see it, the OP has made a lot of effort to undo the damage done to the children by the PWC, and since the law does not (yet) recognise parential alienation as child abuse, there is not much more he can do. He is legally complaint with the law, so why should the OP be forced to get a solicitor because the PWC fails to comply with a contact order? Those kids will grow up and its only a matter of time they discover how much bovine fecial matter their mother has been feeding them about their father.

Transformer

Trent1974 wrote: »

Why go about concience?

The OP's ex made him bang to rights to the maxuimum extent, and the OP has made the PWC do the same.

As for the trust, this is a probably pilot trust (google it), a type of discretionary trust that protects the family from, among other things, predatory spouse (the PWC in this case). More commomnly its used to protect the family from inheritance tax and long term care in old age. The OPs family are clearly not stupid, and made provisions the NRPs children see the benefits of the family money and protected it from the PWC. They have every right to do that. My late grandfather did the same for us incase we succumbed to predatory spouse as men fare badly in UK marital law.

As I see it, the OP has made a lot of effort to undo the damage done to the children by the PWC, and since the law does not (yet) recognise parential alienation as child abuse, there is not much more he can do. He is legally complaint with the law, so why should the OP be forced to get a solicitor because the PWC fails to comply with a contact order? Those kids will grow up and its only a matter of time they discover how much bovine fecial matter their mother has been feeding them about their father.

Do you know the op?:rotfl:
There is no fight here, op just does not agree with all the advice or views his dear hens as he calls them gave him.

See a solicitor re visiting or dont, dont and you really cant be bothered.

dcems

After reading through this thread I am extremley grateful that my ex partner's priorties have always been his children,with no question of financially supporting them through our own agreement, and seeing them without restrictions. It is a sad fact that many absent fathers put their new family first,and forget about their other children that once were the so called apple of their eyes. Ive had a friend whose husband left her for someone in Canada without so much as a warning,leaving his 12 year old son devastated,and he pays nothing for the child and doesnt care to see him.

It never occured to my ex once,even through the bad times when we first split, that firstly he wouldnt see his girls, and secondly he wouldnt pay for his children.

Any kind of relationship breakdown is hard, but I dont understand the reasoning of the OP. Its clear to me that you are most probably the best daddy in the world to your 2 year old son, yet deep down under that you have 2 other children who you dont see,guess you dont even speak to them, and who you wont finacially support due to deep rooted selfishness on your part, bitterness towards your ex and the CSA.

Why should your other children not get the same support as your other son?

Its always the same excuses, and it isnt washing with me.

I actually feel sorry for the OP. He's the one missing out. I wonder how he will answer his children when they ask why he wasnt there for them?

DX2

Do your other kids have a step daddy?
Many blokes like yourself are very confident the kids will come looking for them when they are 16 or older, but if they have a great step daddy why would they even bother.

The step daddy has been there through thick and thin, the good times and the bad times and daddy well the kids probably don't give him a second thought.

JamesP1976 wrote: »

Yes, the mother of the other two chooses not to allow any comminication with me, let alone see them or take them out,

The will grow up and find out eventually. I only need show the bundle when they ask - Daddy, why wern't you around when we needed you?

For this very reason, I kept everything from police records, court cases, the fraud investigation and the content of their mothers phone calls to the CSA. The stuff she plied them was truly amazing.

Transformer

Perhaps that is the true purpose of this thread without him realising, op is testing his choice of actions out to gain some sort of recognition you are right, poor you, you did do all you could, perhaps ready to as he says he hints he has amassed a dossier of letters etc....calls ready for the fight, to prove to his kids he did care!!!!!!!!!!

But you see he only has to see that solicitor pay relevant fees and no matter the issue over the csa he would get visitation.

I gather he only wants to hear what he wants to hear, and no body but in a similar position or mind as him will agree, because it is a set clan of minds. You either do all you can or you dont. The donts will never say to their kids hey I couldnt be bothered really because its hard to be dad or mum with same gained reapect when you have not bothered.

Some learn early and can be forgiven their mistakes as kids are forgiving. But once they reach teens its too late!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We dont really know op, only op knows himself hence the mirror reference. If op does not want to pay for solicitor and fight his ex for visitation then he will appear a fool for thinking others will not see through him.

Those nrps who just up and leave and pretend to fight or dont bother are less mature than their own kids who have had to grow up seeing it. They are not deserving of the title dad or mum whichever is the nrp,

By the way charles my references to a smacked botty you will have gathered was truly in gest any adult will have picked that up. A very naughty child may have been once offered a smacked botty if they didnt behave, hence lickening you to a child, not a fettish just incase you were worried, hahahahaha

sorry to any children I may have offended in likening charles to them, I know kids you probably behaved better

DX2

Transformer wrote: »

Do you know the op?:rotfl:

The teach them the same mantra at deadbeatdads school

JamesP1976

DX2 wrote: »

Do your other kids have a step daddy?
Many blokes like yourself are very confident the kids will come looking for them when they are 16 or older, but if they have a great step daddy why would they even bother.

The step daddy has been there through thick and thin, the good times and the bad times and daddy well the kids probably don't give him a second thought.

Do you actually come up with anything remotely useful on this forum? You have suggested the worst possible thing my ex could do. Congratulations you just won twit of the week.

If you knew the facts, my ex cannot even move a new bloke into the house, there is a Prohibited Steps order in place. She breaches it then not even social services has a choice. The court has already decided she gives up the house (The house for part of the trust anyway so she can never own it) and the children stay with me.

She cannot even apply to join the council housing list because the children have somewhere to stay and she made herself homeless by breaching a court order.

gillypkk

JamesP1976 wrote: »

Do you actually come up with anything remotely useful on this forum? You have suggested the worst possible thing my ex could do. Congratulations you just won twit of the week.

If you knew the facts, my ex cannot even move a new bloke into the house, there is a Prohibited Steps order in place. She breaches it then not even social services has a choice. The court has already decided she gives up the house (The house for part of the trust anyway so she can never own it) and the children stay with me.

She cannot even apply to join the council housing list because the children have somewhere to stay and she made herself homeless by breaching a court order.

you are that bitter you are preventing her from moving on?

having looked at prohibited steps order from a friend whos ex-fiance was letting drug dealers around their daughter, you cannot just get an order that says anyman cannot be moved in or be around the children.

no judge in the land would tell your ex that she cannot have a new relationship and live with her new partner like you are.

no judge on the planet would tell her she cannot move house if she so wishes.

you really just dreamt all this up last night didnt you? is any of this actually true?

Matt_Fry

DX2 wrote: »

Do your other kids have a step daddy?
Many blokes like yourself are very confident the kids will come looking for them when they are 16 or older, but if they have a great step daddy why would they even bother..

lmfao these trolls really come up with a load of crock.:beer:

Matt_Fry

gillypkk wrote: »

you are that bitter you are preventing her from moving on?

having looked at prohibited steps order from a friend whos ex-fiance was letting drug dealers around their daughter, you cannot just get an order that says anyman cannot be moved in or be around the children.

no judge in the land would tell your ex that she cannot have a new relationship and live with her new partner like you are.

no judge on the planet would tell her she cannot move house if she so wishes.

you really just dreamt all this up last night didnt you? is any of this actually true?

How so? the terms of a PSO is set by the court and doesnt need a judge to end it and the OP mentioned nothing about not letting PWC vacate the property.