A little vent about irritating in-laws.

Aginoth

patman99 wrote: »

Do the inlaws from hell have f/b profiles?. We could all go visit them and leave sarcy comments.

Btw, next time SiL comments about your dress size, just ask her how long she has suffered anorexia.

Or ask her if she has a worm infestation, as that would explain why she looks so horribly thin :beer:

MamaMoo_2

Aginoth wrote: »

Or ask her if she has a worm infestation, as that would explain why she looks so horribly thin :beer:

I find it annoys her more if I ask her if she's put on weight...

happy_but_skint

Mamamoo your not alone my inlaws are the same, I was called allsorts of names and was told i wasnt good enough SIL was the same towards me all be it not to my face. I initially went out of my way to try and please them but then realised nothing would work.
Looking back I think they were scared of loosing OH as he was the doormat who they always relied on, they often told him he would stay single as he was overweight but rather than help him they fed him more and more! Then I came along and fell in love with him they were horrified especially when his confidence rocketed lol

Now they have lost their son as they made it impossible for him and he told them to get lost our DD1 was 6 weeks old at the time. We still see his wider family gran/aunts/uncles.

Some people are not worth the hassle!

kazzah60

My late (thank goodness!) MIL was the same - the once told me there was NOTHING wrong with any of her boys ( she had 3 sons one daughter) but it was the women they were married to that caused the trouble!

my dh was the youngest ( by a long stretch the others are 21 years, 19 years and 16 years older than him - and one by one they all moved away - all three of them and their families moved to South africa - one son and family did come back but his wife sensibly wouldn't let him have ANYTHING to do with his family at all !

all the looking after fell to me and dh ( for that read ME!) and for many years I tried to be the best DIL I could - especially as my Mum used to say to me " now you wouldn't have DH if it wasn't for her" amd being a nicely brought up girl I complied !

when we had been married for 19 years with me buying her lovely gifts for birthday, mothers day, x mas etc and having them ignored, I went shooping with my mum for a lamp for MIL
she had complained that her bedside lamp was getting very difficult to turn on and off because of her arthritis - so I searched all over our twon to find one of these touch lamps ( I know, you can get them anywhere now - this was when they first came out) so that she could simply touch the base and switch it on and off that way

well we were quite short of money and this lamp cost £35 and this was her main present, she always had a lot of little presents to open too - and my mum was so impressed with this lovely lamp that she bought one too.

On X mas day, MIL and my mum were all round ours ( as they always were!) and MIl was opening her presents, when she said " oh my Gary always wraps my presents beautifully" - when I laughed and said, "it's me who wraps them - he probably wouldn't even know what was in the boxes"

fatal mistake !!!!!!!!!
she unwrapped them all- left them in the corner had to be forced to take them home and NEVER took the lamp out of the box ( we found it still in the box with x mas paper on it 8 years later when she died)

and after that my mum said to me " give it up love, she will NEVER accept you as part of her family, she just doesn't care"

it was great- my Mum had given me permission to ignore the old bat !!!!!
so I stopped going, I used to send DH and the children to see her every week, but I didn't go - and then after a while the children and DH didn't want to go - but wouldn't tell me why
then eventually my younger son said " I hate it when Nanny starts moaning about you Mum, she does it all the time"

then she met my very best friend in the supermarket and she started slating me to my bf - who walked off in horror at the things she was saying - such as I was preventing the son & kids from visiting her- when my bf KNEW they didn't go, cos they didn't like her!

so I wrote her a letter - and said I would NEVER stop them going to see her, and that they didn't go was because her comments and behaviour upset the children and understandably they didn't want to get caught in the cross fire and that from now on, I wouldn't be forcing them to go every week as I was up til then, and that they would come when they felt like it.

well after about 2 visits in 3 months ( which I nagged them into because I was worried about her!)
she soon got the message - and after this she was on her best behaviour when they went to see her.

I have 2 sons and if nothing else, this has taught me how NOT to behave as a MIL !!!!!!!

RuthnJasper

MamaMoo - you have my sincerest sympathy. I'm not married yet, but my best friend had an equally evil MiL. MiL told bf's (now ex) husband that my bf was "a bit too 'council house' for us". She gave her a doormat as a wedding present.

It never got any better and hubby made it very clear that mummy came first. One year, MiL gave my bf a bottle of Tipp-Ex for Christmas and, another year, a keyring with someone else's name on it saying "I know it's not your name but I think this one is nicer."

Sour old trout.

Revenge strategies? A nice chocolate cake for morning coffee before MiL goes home, on her several-hour drive... Bake half (top to bottom, not through the middle!) the cake with normal chocolate and the other half with PLENTY of chocolate laxative. Push the two halves together and put chocolate icing on top so you can't see the split - mark the laxative side with white chocolate buttons and the normal side with ordinary ones. Make sure MiL gets a nice big slice from the white-button side, while you and everyone else get a slice from the normal side... Hehehehehe.....

As to the sniping sister, I'd probably say "Yeah, but at least I can lose weight - you will ALWAYS be a miserable, ill-mannered, old sow."

You sound like a nice, fun person, MamaMoo - I'm sorry you've got this bit of baggage hanging around. Keep smiling (even if it's through gritted teeth sometimes...)!

R xx

barbiedoll

What a ghastly woman! Maybe you should just consider fighting fire with fire, it doesn't sound as though any reasonable conversation is possible with the old bat.

For a start, if you're sending cards, flowers, chocs etc for birthdays, I would think about sending sarcastic cards, dying or dead flowers and those horrid cheapo Belgian seashell chocolates. Same for evil SIL, but try giving her diet chocolates as she's clearly uptight about her weight.

Hubby clearly has torn loyalties, I know that he should be supporting you but the umbilical cord stretches a long way and he's possibly a bit scared of her anyway. At least she's not on your doorstep every week but you definitely shouldn't have to put up with bad behaviour in your own house, she's not welcome there so don't have her round at all, if she wants to see her son, she'll have to see him somewhere else.

Is she an alcoholic? She seems to like a beer or two and alcoholics do tend to behave irrationally, although that doesn't excuse her behaviour towards you, nor that of SIL, who sounds like a witch.

I do like Ruth's idea of the split cake, that made me laugh and is definitely something to consider, evil though it may be!

Definitely don't ever write her a letter, it will rebound on you sooner or later. She will keep it and use it as ammunition, possibly years later and it's very hard to keep the venom at bay when you are writing to someone you dislike so much. My mum did this to her evil MIL and she actually gave it to my dad to take to the divorce court! (Not that anyone was interested, it was a maintenance hearing and he still had to pay up! :rotfl:)

fluffnutter

RuthnJasper wrote: »

One year, MiL gave my bf [best friend]... a keyring with someone else's name on it saying "I know it's not your name but I think this one is nicer."

Words fail me What a bitch!

RuthnJasper

barbiedoll wrote: »

I do like Ruth's idea of the split cake, that made me laugh and is definitely something to consider, evil though it may be!

I actually know someone who did this! She's from the US and once worked in the World Trade Centre - in their offices there, the loos were on every other floor and she and her colleagues worked on one of the "non-loos" floors. Anyway there was a real creep of a bloke that worked with them who was constantly awful to the women in the office - making unpleasant comments, touching them up, etc... They'd complain but nothing was ever done and it just got worse. Anyway, as in most offices, a birthday meant cake for the colleagues and, when this chap had his birthday, my friend made him a half-and-half cake as described.

What they'd also done, however, was put Vaseline on the door handle of the upstairs gents' toilet. When the inevitable happened, the bloke fled up the stairs and was unable to open the door... thus had to race back down two flights of stairs to the loo on the lower floor...

I thought it was a bit too cruel - until I heard about the sorts of things he'd said and tried on with the office girls... it was only righteous justice... hehehe...

I'm always happy to offer revenge plots for folks troubled by the snidey-ness of others (though this would be as cruel as I go!)! xxx

Mupette

play her at her own game if she knocks at the door open it and shout out 'oh those kids are playing knock out ginger' and shut the door in her face.

mrputney08

Insecurity's a terrible thing..
I would like to say this could be talked through BUT it's clear your mother in law is a control freak, afraid to let her son be with woman who talks nothing but sense into him for fear it it will show her up for the despicable person she really is, a person who thrives on other people's misery. If she cannot be happy no-one can, she will never be happy.
But don't let the little lady get you down! Just remember she is nothing! You go girl!! I find ignoring someone like that frustrates them the most, lol.