A little vent about irritating in-laws.

hollydays

MamaMoo wrote: »

Her attitude has always been the same. The first time I met her, she was horrible to me. She walked into my husbands room, having rocked up from wherever she lived, saw we had beer, stole half the crate, got blind drunk and started effing and blinding at me later that day.

What was she saying about you at this point?

ProdigalScouser

She sounds like a lovely woman, your sister-in-law is a really catch too. Have you tried hitting them? Maybe with something? A car, for example...

On the weight-gain thing earlier on in this thread, some products like Maximuscle do a flavourless version...

MamaMoo_2

hollydays wrote: »

What was she saying about you at this point?

That I was rude, had no morals, and her son could do better.
I haven't a clue what she was basing this on. The first time I met her, I introduced myself politely, always referred to her as "mrs X", and offered to carry some washing downstairs for her. Whenever I was making drinks, I always offered her one, and when I was cooking dinner I asked if she would like some.
She'd never caught me in any 'compromising' situations, and I have never shown any lack of morals.
She hated me a long time before I got pregnant etc

VfM4meplse

If you genuinely don't know, why don't you ask her what you have done to deserve her hostility? It sounds like she bases her opinion of you on someone else's advice? Who is this powerful influence?

MamaMoo_2

VfM4meplse wrote: »

If you genuinely don't know, why don't you ask her what you have done to deserve her hostility? It sounds like she bases her opinion of you on someone else's advice? Who is this powerful influence?

I've been very tempted a few times, but I don't want to cause a big issue for my husband, who's stuck in the middle.
It annoys me, because when I barred his brother's girlfriend from our house (because I was fed up of her slagging me off all the time) he told me I should "just grow up and sort it out with her."
I wouldn't mind, except that I'd made it perfectly clear that if she apologised for her behaviour and stopped acting that way, then I would forgive her, and he knows the only reason she is still barred is because she refuses to apologise.
It annoys me, because I would love to know what I did wrong, and I'd love to have an amicable relationship with his mother for his sake, and for our children's sake, but because he won't man up to her, or allow me to confront her, things stay the same.

To be fair, I'd also like it if she had the grace and dignity to apologise, or be reasonable, but so far, the best I get is being completely ignored in my own house.

VfM4meplse

MamaMoo wrote: »

I've been very tempted a few times, but I don't want to cause a big issue for my husband, who's stuck in the middle.

I don't think you've got much choice now! Your husband should also tell you why he's with someone that his mother clearly hates (that's positive affirmation btw!). It's all very well telling you to grow up, but he needs to dish out the same medicine to his Mum.

hollydays

He said,she said, is not communicating.

fluffnutter

VfM4meplse wrote: »

If you genuinely don't know, why don't you ask her what you have done to deserve her hostility?

I doubt this would work.

Peanuckle

I'd be tempted to point out to your husband that the whole situation needs sorting before your son is old enough to understand that Granny hates Mummy. Therefore he needs to make it clear to his mother than the nastiness stops now, if she can't act like an adult and be courteous, both to and about you, then she won't be getting any sort of contact with you and ultimately with her grandson.

MamaMoo_2

I have repeatedly asked my husband to either investigate the issue, or pull her up about it. I get a feeling that there's something he's not telling me, but there's not much I can do, really.
I have made it perfectly clear that until she grows up, she will not be allowed around our children. When I was young, my family hated my dad. As a result, from a very young age, I was lied to about him, always put in the middle of very awkward situations, and ended up quite angry with him, with no reason for it. Consequently, for 15 years I had no contact with him. Being older and wiser now, I have realised the truth, and now have a great relationship with my dad.
I don't want my sons being poisoned against me in the same way, and until I can be sure that she is willing to behave herself, she won't be allowed into my house and given the opportunity to create such an atmosphere. Nor will my husband be allowed to take my sons to see her.