Care of elderly parent - any advice appreciated

Savvy_Sue

vroombroom wrote: »

My mam has been to her doctor countless times but says she is fine. She has been onto Age Concern and SS who have both said we need a referral from the doctor x

its so sad xx

It's also poppycock. At least insofar as you / your mother could request a Carer's Assessment from Social Services, to see how YOUR needs could be met so that you can go on caring for gran. And that might lead to other things.

At least that would be the case south of the border ...

Scottish_Lass_3

Have taken lots of advice here! Thank you all so much.

Last night I again asked the nurses if it was OK to help dad into bed and made a big point of saying he needed help. I checked that it was noted that he is not dressing/washing himself, and asked if he received any help in the morning. I was told he gets himself up and out of bed and is usually found attempting his personal hygeine (probably trying to wash/shave while holding onto the sink with one hand,) so it is noted he needs assistance with this. They are a lovely bunch of girls, and I am not wanting to be horrible about them - but they don't seem to be very on the ball - patients are two to a room, and dad says sometimes it is ages before anyone looks in on them. Also, just found out from dad himself (when I asked if he wanted to go to the TV room when we left) that on Sunday he was helped to the day room to watch the last of the golf, but he could not concentrate and just wanted back to bed. But then he found he could not push himself up out of the low leather sofa - so the poor soul sat there for a while (not sure how long) shouting but no one came!

He has a fluid chart and a chart for his incontinence which is mostly 'wet' in the mornings and dry during the day.

No urine infection.

Dad still waiting for his MRI scan, but there is only one in the hospital and a huge waiting list. I am actually quite relieved, because if they dont find anything wrong in the scan results, I am sure he will be sent home.

Also today we had a phone call from the Occupational Therapist to discuss Dads needs at home, so that was great. I really feel like something is being done.

Mum is thinking they might have to start looking for a ground floor flat, sheltered acommodation etc.

If anyone is following his thread who has elderly parents who are fine at the moment but live in a home with bedrooms and bathrooms upstairs - please, please think about long term planning. I wish we had addressed this earlier as the thought of getting dad home is a nightmare - no matter how much we love him.

Savvy_Sue

Scottish_Lass wrote: »

If anyone is following his thread who has elderly parents who are fine at the moment but live in a home with bedrooms and bathrooms upstairs - please, please think about long term planning. I wish we had addressed this earlier as the thought of getting dad home is a nightmare - no matter how much we love him.

Tell me about it! Although to be fair, however much 'we' might wish to address this, it's down to our parents. You can try pointing out that they are unlikely to become more mobile rather than less, but it's hard to know how far ahead one can plan ...

At one point Dad actually said "Well we didn't expect to get ill!" when someone pointed out that the still overlarge house they'd downsized to move to had some limitations ...

That house was a compromise: they wanted to move, but going into sheltered accommodation was a) a step far too far and b) never going to be an option because all the flats were far far too small for Mum.

And Dad wanted to move again, but by that stage he just wasn't well enough to contemplate it, and all the flats were still far far too small for Mum!

gruffalo55

Scottish_Lass it would be worth asking if the hospital has a discharge co-ordinator, I don't think every NHS Trust employs them but they can be very useful for arranging the services you will need. Ask about the possibility of a temporary rehab centre place as well. My local trust has a number of spaces at residential type homes which are geared towards stroke rehab e.t.c. and allow the patient to be assessed more thoroughly, they are useful when the trust feels the patient doesn't require further hospital treatment but is not yet well enough/fit for returning home. If you do want to have a chat with his Doctor then ask to meet with the Consultant's registrar or whoever is overseeing his care during the Consultant's holiday.